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Your worst joke!!!


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My moggy came back last night with feathers hanging from its mouth. Apparently its hunting at the local pond and caught something. 

 

It's now a duck filled fatty puss

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Sly Stallone is making a new movie based on Famous composers, speaking at the press conference, he and the other actors say who they'll be playing as.

 

Stallone: I'm going to be Mozart

 

Statham: I'll be Beethoven 

 

Van Damme: I'm acting as Chopin

 

Schwarzenegger: I'll be Bach

 

 

Sorry :up:

 

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5 minutes ago, Bender said:

Whats the time got to do with it 😁 

It's when the shadow is bigger... 🙄

Season 3 Wtf GIF by The Simpsons

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One question you should never ask your other half.

 

The missus was doing some jumping and frenetically waiving her arms and legs to the sound of what I can only describe as metalworks shop floor with what I suspect some consider as rhythm...

After she ended that display, I was asked why I was making that face.

"I can't see the purpose of that."

"It keeps me fit!"

 

"Are you sure?..." 🤔

 

I'm glad I installed heating and wi-fi in the dog's house :thumb: 

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My misses is getting most upset the Flash Dog in the adverts.  it keeps getting re-homed, by her count it’s 5.
 

”you cannot sell your dog with the house, thats just wrong!”

 

My daughter cropped up  “but if we could you would we would of moved house by now!”.

Edited by onesea
So it makes sense
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  • 2 weeks later...
4 minutes ago, James in Brum said:

Today I learned children are born with four kidneys, then when they grow two become adult knees.

??? I'm fairly sure my kidneys aren't connected to my knees. I'm assuming this pearl of wisdom is courtesy of one of your offspring?

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21 hours ago, S-Westerly said:

??? I'm fairly sure my kidneys aren't connected to my knees. I'm assuming this pearl of wisdom is courtesy of one of your offspring?

I had to read it twice as well.

 

It is worst joke thread after all 

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