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Interesting life lately...


asharin
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As some of you may know I've had ongoing issues for a good few years now (10+) with my now ex.

Not long ago decided after 21 years together I could no longer stay in a relationship that I was unhappy in, and had been for some time. I couldn't just stay for the sake of the kids or hurting her feelings anymore as it was slowly killing me and making me ill. I did/still do love her in a way, but more as a friend than a lover if that makes sense, so it wasn't an easy decision to make.

Anyway, not going to go into all the details as to why, but it had to end, so end it did.


She went a bit mental, threatening suicide, smashing loads of my stuff etc (have forgiven her for that, I can understand her point, it was a bit of a surprise for her) but now calmed down and we can at least tolerate each other


Stayed single for a little while, wasn't planning on another relationship for a while, but then I kinda got headhunted due to a random post I made on the 'spotted: bournemouth' page on facebook. Got talking to this girl and we eventually met up..got on like a house on fire.

Haven't been so happy in a long time, after a age in a relationship that was pretty much just holding on for convienences sake this is a refreshing change. The only thing that gave me a pause to consider for a while was the fact that at 22 she is 16 years younger than me, but kinda getting past that now as we are so great together


So from miserable to happy in a few months, this year has been good so far, but I wish my middle son would speak to me again :(

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Asharin, you're as old as the woman you feel :lol:

But, seriously though if you both kind of meet in the middle age wise, by that I mean you have a younger attitude & hers is a bit older.There is 19 years between my better half & myself & this year is our 8th year together.

I'm sure you're middle son will come round with time.

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I have to admit I did have to think hard on whether this was a 'rebound' relationship at first, but the more time I've spent with her, the more I have come to realise it definitely is not rebound, so decided to really make a go of it. So far..going well :)

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Well in 9 weeks I'm getting married for the 3rd time - a triumph of hope over experience. Nearly 30 years 1st time round, then got the "only stayed with you cos of the kids" speech. Jumped straight back in in panic, lasted 18 months. Been a more careful this time, been with my fiancee for 4 years now, living together for last 2. The age gap? I'M A TOY BOY :D She's +4 over me, but looks 10 years younger and acts 20 years younger.

Wish you best of luck, never give up. Hope your son comes around soon.

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I was in a similar position a number of years back and it's a real tough time.......but in the longrun it's better for all concerned I think. My youngest lad didn't want to meet Mandy for a while.....but he's come round now and we go out together for birthday meals and the like no problems. So, give your lad time and I'm sure he'll come round..... :)

Congrats BTW....glad you've found someone to enjoy life with again......I found mine a bit over 8 years ago now and still very happy together..... :D

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at 18 i fell for someone 22 years older, we lasted 8 years but the age gap was no issue, he was just a dick. age is just a number on a certificate somewhere, your attitude is more of a guidance.


hope it works and many happy years are coming your way :D

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22 she is 16 years younger than me, but kinda getting past that now as we are so great together

Well played :lol: 8-)

 

age is just a number on a certificate somewhere, your attitude is more of a guidance.

 

That's what Jimmy Savile would have said.

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boothy, stop interrupting the adult's conversations. :)



Ash. i have always somehow ended up in relationships with girls younger than myself. dont worry about it mate. it keeps you young at heart.


if folks make snide remarks it'll be because theyre jealous. true friends and family will support your choice.


and remember, its being happy that matters, not the ability to compare what kids programs you can remember.

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you're attracted to whoever you're attracted to....my partner and I have a 14 year age gap, and we're the last people to notice.

funny though how theres not quite the same pat on the back ...good on you attitude when its 'our' way round

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boothy, stop interrupting the adult's conversations. :)

 

Sorry, I know this thread really hits home as your girlfriend is 10 years younger and your bit on the side is 16 years younger :)

 

Bit on the side?

 

You not heard about him and Devans?

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Who gives a shite about the age gap, I`ve learned that when you get past a certain age the people you hang around with all seem the same. We just remember a few more/less older things. Enjoy the relationship :thumb:

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you're attracted to whoever you're attracted to....my partner and I have a 14 year age gap, and we're the last people to notice.

funny though how theres not quite the same pat on the back ...good on you attitude when its 'our' way round

 

14 years! How does he manage to look so young if he is 14 years older than you? Can I have his secret please?


:angel12:

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you're attracted to whoever you're attracted to....my partner and I have a 14 year age gap, and we're the last people to notice.

funny though how theres not quite the same pat on the back ...good on you attitude when its 'our' way round

 

14 years! How does he manage to look so young if he is 14 years older than you? Can I have his secret please?


:angel12:

 

funny :up:

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Moo's advice, from my experience of the most dragged-out horrible parental break-up, is to try to make the transition as smoooooth as possible for your kids, and make sure you spend as much time with them as possible. Sounds like youve been v open and honest with your ex, which is all anyone can ask for. There's also the possibility your ex will (not saying she will, but could happen due to jealousy) try to poison your kid's minds about you and your gf. I recommend not introducing her to them too early, only when they are ready and have some real heart-to-hearts, explaining why what's happened has happened and letting them know they are the most important and very much loved. Don't stop trying with your middle son - writing letters is what got my dad and I talking again after years.

Good luck with it all. All of your lives will be happier for it in the long term :)


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you're attracted to whoever you're attracted to....my partner and I have a 14 year age gap, and we're the last people to notice.

funny though how theres not quite the same pat on the back ...good on you attitude when its 'our' way round

 

Wow didnt realise that Owen was 14 yrs older than you Cat :)

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Moo's advice, from my experience of the most dragged-out horrible parental break-up, is to try to make the transition as smoooooth as possible for your kids, and make sure you spend as much time with them as possible. Sounds like youve been v open and honest with your ex, which is all anyone can ask for. There's also the possibility your ex will (not saying she will, but could happen due to jealousy) try to poison your kid's minds about you and your gf. I recommend not introducing her to them too early, only when they are ready and have some real heart-to-hearts, explaining why what's happened has happened and letting them know they are the most important and very much loved. Don't stop trying with your middle son - writing letters is what got my dad and I talking again after years.

Good luck with it all. All of your lives will be happier for it in the long term :)


 

ohhh if only I had read this before today!

Ran into my eldest son in town today while with the new girlfriend, he seemed okay with it, but obviously told his mum when he got home. Later on I was hit with a barrage of facebook messages saying that I have no consideration for the kids and that from now on if I want to have the boys it'll be supervised visits as I can't be trusted not to do as I say (I'd said i wouldn't introduce her to the kids yet) Errrm..chance meeting??? Oh well.

Not sure how supervised visits will work as she won't see me.


Then she blocked me on facebook and doesn't answer texts/calls.


Bitch.


Oh well, I'll give her time to calm down, then if she doesn't see reason I guess it's courts for access..

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