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Am I in Trouble?


thebendyfox
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Bit of back story - I work away (in the Middle East to be not-really-very-precise) and as such spend a lot of time away from home. For weeks my work calender has had me down as being on site over the Christmas break (since its not celebrated over here in any way shape or form), a fact I have chickened out of telling anyone at home - especially my wife and 5yr old daughter.


This morning I spend a bit of time with my boss and happen to mention this fact, we then take a look at the details and he has - out of the blue - changed it so I can travel on Christmas Day morning at 4am to land back in the UK for 8am.


I have now booked the flights, and I am about to tell my good wife and daughter that I WILL NOT be able to come home for Christmas...


...until I bloody well turn up on the doorstep that morning.


Good people of the forum...am I one or all of the following:


a. An Arse

b. A romantic

c. A fool

d. A dead man walking


:popcorn:

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You lot are making me nervous now :lol:


You think I should tell the wife?

 

I know the feeling I am going to be home for Christmas and having my daughter for Christmas for the first time in 7 years. I learned something working with the Poles, they always said "Don't surprise the wife it maybe you who gets the surprise!". Although on Christmas day you would hope that is most unlikely!


My suggestion is you are trying you are not promising anything hope to be home for New Year (if you indeed still will be). Explain that you don't know if you will be home in time if the "project will finish in time" or what ever you lingo is...


Even though your fairly certain, nothing is guaranteed and Christmas travel can be difficult even getting home form the Airport. Just make the huddles bigger than you hope the reality is...


DO NOT LET THEM BUILD HOPES particularly the young one... Then you will be the best surprise...

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If she wasn't expecting you back for Christmas day anyway, since it's the norm for you to work it, I say go for it.


Amazing idea.

 

Sounds like she was though...


I don't get it...you weren't going to be home for Christmas but you were too chicken to tell her, now you are going to be home for Christmas but you're going to lie to her for the next 6 weeks?


It's worrying you're happier lying than telling the truth about the same piece of information!


I think if you'd told her weeks ago couldn't be home for Christmas it wouldn't be so bad but it's mid-November now and getting close to Christmas, you could make her really miserable for the next 6 weeks.


However, if she'd thought all along that you wouldn't be home for Christmas it would have been awesome to keep quiet and surprise her. But lying to her when she has always expected you'd be there is pretty low, and not telling her you wouldn't be home for Christmas is even lower! If your boss hadn't changed things for you, when were you actually going to tell her you wouldn't be home for Christmas??

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Obviously you know your wife best but I'm not convinced that your turning up unexpectedly on Christmas Day will make up for several weeks of disappointment.


Suppose she decides to go round to a friend or relative for Christmas Day rather than her and your daughter being on their own?

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It sounds like your line of work has unexpected shift changes so telling her you wont be here for xmas will be disappointing to them but expected. It should be a nice surprise for them both, last thing you wanna do is say you will be home and then something happens and you have to stay

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:thumb: Thanks to all replies


I'm going to sleep on it :lol: Either way I'll be landing in Manchester on Christmas morning and that feels awesome. I may just tell wifey and keep it as a surprise for our daughter and extended families.


Or sack it and just jump out of a great sodding box.

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As someone who is on day shift Christmas day ( leave house 05:30 home 18:30 ) I know my wife has had everything planned for her and the kids for a while now.

Be bloody careful mate...

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Tell her you will be home, then 2 days before tell her something came up and you won't be home .. Then turn up Xmas day... That way she can't make other plans and not be there when you arrive!

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Tell her you will be home, then 2 days before tell her something came up and you won't be home .. Then turn up Xmas day... That way she can't make other plans and not be there when you arrive!

 

Why would you do that to someone? My mum cancelled Christmas on me once two days before Christmas and it was horrible. Nothing like spending Christmas Eve in tears to say "I love you". Luckily someone took me in else it would have been Christmas Day and my own and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. My mum's dead now and I'm spending Christmas Day alone this year and yeah, I wouldn't wish it on the poor guy's wife who already hasn't seen him for months, it would break her heart.


You really think his wife's gonna be happy to see him on Christmas morning after he totally ruined Christmas for her two days previously?


She thinks he's coming, now he actually is, leave it as that lol and see it as a massive stroke of luck.

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The way I'd play it would be to tell the wife that you're working on getting back for Christmas.....but not to tell your daughter in case it all falls through.......and, when it's definite, work it with your wife to make it a suprise for your daughter..... 8-)

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You see I'm someone who has watched too many movies :lol:


Whenever someone comes home unexpectedly, it's smiles all round!


When the reality is you could look a massive twat :lol:


I think reality needs to take a holiday like most of us at Christmas!

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Tell her you will be home, then 2 days before tell her something came up and you won't be home .. Then turn up Xmas day... That way she can't make other plans and not be there when you arrive!

 

Why would you do that to someone?

I wouldn't!


I wouldn't mess with Christmas at all. Its the one time of year that families can look forward to being together.

Making up stories, giving false hope, then letting people down, then turning up unannounced is a recipe for disaster. As fozzie implies - we dont live in the movies!!

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Tell her you will be home, then 2 days before tell her something came up and you won't be home .. Then turn up Xmas day... That way she can't make other plans and not be there when you arrive!

 

Why would you do that to someone?

I wouldn't!


I wouldn't mess with Christmas at all. Its the one time of year that families can look forward to being together.

Making up stories, giving false hope, then letting people down, then turning up unannounced is a recipe for disaster. As fozzie implies - we dont live in the movies!!

 

Agreed! Although if she'd known he wasn't due home back in September say and this was an unexpected turn up for the books, it would have been nice to surprise her! But she's always thought he would be at home, so to ruin her Christmas now when it's only weeks away is pretty bad IMHO.


And it's something I feel really strongly about as my Christmases are generally awful, so sorry if I'm getting a little too angry lol :oops:

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get a family friend you can trust in on it to make sure the wife stays home then get said friend to pick you up from the airport and arrive on front door step holding flowers she will be to shocked to be angry and will be the best xmas presie she and your daughter have ever had

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