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Kneepads


Guest griptwister
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Hi all bikey peeps,


I am looking for a set of kneepads to strap to my lumpy bits between crotch and ankle.


As I am pretty useless and these are just for show I was wondering if I can save a bit of money and use soup plates. If that's no good what about beer mats. Coasters anyone?


What do you guys think.


As an aside do they make armoured underwear yet. Whats the point in saving your arse if your nadgers are forfeit.

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As an aside do they make armoured underwear yet. Whats the point in saving your arse if your nadgers are forfeit.

 

Custard is a non newtonian fluid which means that it displays properties of both liquids and solids. http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/davidgregory/2009/09/walking_on_custard.html It hardens on impact so is perfect for this use case. Fill your underpants with Birds custard (not too hot) and if you have an off it'll protect your wedding tackle.

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Don't use ketchup though. Ketchup is also a non Newtonian fluid however its viscosity decreases when an external force is applied, so in the event of an off your sausage and eggs will just be covered in ketchup and pain.

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I am shocked and ashamed by my paucity of knowledge in Newtonian physics relating to the properties of simple kitchen sauces and we haven't even explored such standard condiments as Salad Cream. The americans of course understand Peanut Butter in depth and may wish to contribute in this area.


I must admit the concept of ketchup on a sausage is somewhat tempting and widely accepted in the UK, even given the heightened risks that you highlighted I may explore that avenue. Of course in the USA all wieners are required to have mustard liberally applied, otherwise nursing staff may choose to refuse treatment if the worst happens.


Onions are optional.


I cannot thank you guys enough for opening this explorative can of worms.

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Ah... thixotropic and rheopectic fluids. :D


I have a rotational viscometer in the lab downstairs that can be made available to anyone who wishes to conduct their own experiments into the best condiment to use before sacrificing their favourite y-fronts...

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My Grandad used to say rolled up newspaper works to keep the cold at bay.

I guess you could fashion some papier-mache knees sliders?


If you used the old method of sticking soggy newspaper around a balloon that is the same dimensions as your knee, it would work quite well I reckon.

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Just got back from an open day at the secondary school my kids are going to. This is one of the exhibits they had in the science class:


 

DSC_0091.thumb.JPG.16f59a2fb50aedb29a91c593fdf4b882.JPG

 


When the teacher asked if anyone had any questions I was going to say "Yes! If someone crashed their motorbike with their y-fronts full of ketchup, would they be wishing they'd used custard instead?"


I think that would probably have got me escorted off the premises...


:lol:

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I have no problem with brown sauce being liberally smeared over Sausage and Eggs however I have never found Brown Sauce to be in any way protective of those Sausage and Eggs.


Fried Bread does however constitute effective protection for those Sausage and Eggs even when a river of Brown Sauce threatens to engulf them and may protect them from other things too, so something worthwhile has emerged from this discussion.


My underwear shall be filled with Fried Bread from this point on and I shall be using Custard for good measure. You heard it here first.


Thank you for your assistance gentlemen (and ladies).

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Catholic Church ... ask one of the choir boys if he’s got a set you can borrow ... probably well used though.

 

Was it [mention]Liveware Problem[/mention]'s comment about people pulling out without warning that made your mind go there?


:lol:

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