MarkW Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 "Never w*nk on the carpet when you should be balls deep in your brothers wife" (slight paraphrasing of Genesis 38:9). A tad My version is better, though. I always like to raise Genesis 38:9 with the barmy old bats from the church who knock on my door wanting to talk to me about God: "So, when God told Onan to f*ck his dead brothers wife and then killed him for w*nking on the carpet instead, what moral lesson are we supposed to take from that?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 The wisest word I know is "Don't"The wisest words I know are "Nobody listens to wise words" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzie Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Wrap it before you tap it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggs Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Today's not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day......set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods.........and they haven't forgotten this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joeman Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 They key to life??Do you know the key to life?? (NSFW)https://youtu.be/em092MmCsDA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzie Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Overheard a few days after the year 2000"How are you?""Oh you know, same shit, different millennium" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geofferz Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Give a man a fish and he will feed his family for a day. Teach a man to fish himself and he'll spend all day drinking beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 People say "But evolution is only a theory!", which is true, I mean it is a theory and it's good they say that, I think, because it gives you hope, doesn't it? That they feel the same way about the theory of gravity and they might just float the f**k away...I've been known to tailor that to fit flat-earthers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 My favourite flat earther theory is what is called the pac-man effect to explain how continuous travel is possible without falling off the edge of the earth https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BouncyGreatBlackfish-small.gif' alt='GFYCAT>'> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIKERDAD Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 A blow job makes your day ..Anal sex makes your whole week ...( think about it ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeHorton Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 'never a truer word was spoken with an electrode on your scrotum' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIKERDAD Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 If you have a boss like i had then you need.to get this T shirt ... Bosses are like nappies ...Always on your arse an full of shite .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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