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Dress codes


MarkW
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My father-in-law has invited us for lunch at his golf club next weekend, and in typical fashion this otherwise pleasant invitation was marred slightly by his complete inability not to be an ar*ehole for five minutes at a stretch, ending as it did with the line "Please make sure you all respect the club rules and dress appropriately: no jeans."


It always makes me laugh that golf clubs enforce dress codes, as golfing attire has to rank alongside the shell suit for its sheer tastelessness and naffness. And can there be any more imbecillic or inadequate way of maintaining 'standards' than on the basis of what trousers people are wearing? I know that at least one member of his golf club has a criminal record for GBH against women and on occasion also children, but as long as he turns up in some chinos, and doubtless also a wankerish Pringle sweater, they'll welcome him with fawning and obsequious servility whilst turning me and my jeans away at the door.


I did think about declining his invitation on the basis that I can wear my jeans to the local Michelin-starred restaurant where the food is a bloody sight better than at his club, but I think instead I'm going to hire some plus fours and a f*cking tam-o-shanter and turn up looking like the reincarnation of Payne Stewart. :D

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I once took a group of Nigerian seafarers to a swimming pool. When they marched into the poolside in cut down jeans the guard blew his whistle and told them not to wear cut downs in the pool.


So they stripped off and dived in.


I ran for it.

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Many years ago my wife and I went out mid-week to a restaurant. As it was also January it was pretty quiet. I was not allowed in because I was not wearing a tie. My wife was wearing a dress with a belt made of fabric and when I tied that found my neck I was allowed in. To this day I absolutely despise wearing a tie - a more pointless item of clothing it would be hard to find.

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Many years ago my wife and I went out mid-week to a restaurant. As it was also January it was pretty quiet. I was not allowed in because I was not wearing a tie. My wife was wearing a dress with a belt made of fabric and when I tied that found my neck I was allowed in. To this day I absolutely despise wearing a tie - a more pointless item of clothing it would be hard to find.

 

I can get into anywhere without a tie, the fussiest of restaurants, the poshest of parties and even the House of Lords on occasions.


It's called a dog collar.

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Many years ago my wife and I went out mid-week to a restaurant. As it was also January it was pretty quiet. I was not allowed in because I was not wearing a tie. My wife was wearing a dress with a belt made of fabric and when I tied that found my neck I was allowed in. To this day I absolutely despise wearing a tie - a more pointless item of clothing it would be hard to find.

 

I can get into anywhere without a tie, the fussiest of restaurants, the poshest of parties and even the House of Lords on occasions.


It's called a dog collar.

 


Has it got big spikes going round it , I got one of them , wouldn't wear it out .... although if it gets you in places .

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My father-in-law has invited us for lunch at his golf club next weekend, and in typical fashion this otherwise pleasant invitation was marred slightly by his complete inability not to be an ar*ehole for five minutes at a stretch, ending as it did with the line "Please make sure you all respect the club rules and dress appropriately: no jeans."


It always makes me laugh that golf clubs enforce dress codes, as golfing attire has to rank alongside the shell suit for its sheer tastelessness and naffness. And can there be any more imbecillic or inadequate way of maintaining 'standards' than on the basis of what trousers people are wearing? I know that at least one member of his golf club has a criminal record for GBH against women and on occasion also children, but as long as he turns up in some chinos, and doubtless also a wankerish Pringle sweater, they'll welcome him with fawning and obsequious servility whilst turning me and my jeans away at the door.


I did think about declining his invitation on the basis that I can wear my jeans to the local Michelin-starred restaurant where the food is a bloody sight better than at his club, but I think instead I'm going to hire some plus fours and a f*cking tam-o-shanter and turn up looking like the reincarnation of Payne Stewart. :D

 

If it offends you that much, just don't go. If you're taking the long view.........how far do you wanna bend over? Up to you.

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Sounds to me its more about your relationship with the dad in law that some pretentious club rule.

If your best mate invited you somewhere that required smart dress code would you object?


Just put some trousers on ,go to the meal and enjoy the biggest steak you can.

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Just do what I do and say "I can't adhere to that dress code due to my religious beliefs"


I'd say roughly 60% of the time they panic and let you in without a blind bit of critical thought. And it's because the world we live in has some nervous they'd end up on a hysteric facebook post that would go viral and end in them getting sacked and death threats from the "tolerant progressive millenials".


In short, weaponize social trends :lol:

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Sounds to me its more about your relationship with the dad in law that some pretentious club rule.

If your best mate invited you somewhere that required smart dress code would you object?

 

I just find dress codes in general pretentious and silly, and especially when they are issued by golf clubs whose members regularly despoil the place in some of the most tasteless and vulgar garments available to the public.

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Tight Lycra cycling gear soaked in sweat and a thick layer of white zinc sunscreen always seems to go down well especially during the summer when fly have committed suicide in it and your face looks like a sh*tty piece of fly paper. Wrong time of year for the latter part but I suppose you could raid the collecting tray of a UV bug zapper and strategically place some fat ones here n there.

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