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We're in some real pretty shit now...


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- Yes Jamie?

Can I watch Aliens?

- No.

Oooh! Why not?

- For the same reason I gave you last time you asked: it's a certificate 18 and you're 11.

I won't be scared - I've seen all the behind the scenes 'making of...' stuff so I know it's all make believe.

- It's not that concerns me so much as the wall-to-wall bad language.

Oh dad! I hear the f-word all the time at school!

- I'm sure you do, but there's also Daniel to consider, and he's only 8.


- Yes Daniel?

My best friend Harrison says "F*ck" all the time.

:shock: ---long pause---

- F*ck it then - put it on if you want.


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Never take advice off of strangers on the internet. :tumble:


That sounds like good advice, but if I took it I would be ignoring it. Now I'm going to spend my Sunday stuck in a philosophical paradox. :(

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Never ever bargain with kids. In the long run it does them no favours.

Be the worst, meanest, most singled minded sod in the world. And one day they’ll thank you for it.


This wasn't quite my approach to bringing up kids, but it's pretty much how they saw it at the time. And now, you're right, they do actually thank me.

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