Psychybikey

Yes, acting_strange, I am being taught properly, it is entirely down to me and my complete lack of confidence and not yet having learnt to trust the bike. It's counter-intuitive for me to keep the revs up and at the same time keep the brake on - like simultaneously putting my foot on the accelerator and the brake pedal in a car, or squeezing the horse's sides with my legs whilst applying pressure to the reins - and when I have to go that slowly, I'm convinced I'm going to fall off, as I invariably do if I go too slowly on a push-bike. But when I look at where I was a couple of weeks ago, especially as I have no bike to practice on in between, I have made progress

I was just thinking of something along the lines of a box with teabags, coffee, sugar and biscuits, since they will use all of these, if only to give to the learners Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but that's what we used to do. When I passed my driving test I gave the instructor 100 fags! Wouldn't dream of doing that now - but it was in the days when it was acceptable for the instructor to light up during the lesson. Probably a situation when an exception should be made. Driving instructors must have nerves of steel.

I am so pleased with myself today. I repeated the CBT but didn't get as far as the riding-round-town bit because I totally messed up the U-turns. I think part of the reason for this was that the morning session is so long (I didn't have to go back for the safety talk but joined the practical session). So by the time you do the U-turn bit you have been concentrating for so long that you are exhausted and every mistake is magnified. Suddenly that space that was big enough to turn a bus round in has shrunk to the size of a minibar fridge. I did get it eventually, and then after a break we all went out on the road. The other two went out with one instructor and I went out with the other who said he'd have to see me do a U-turn in the road (even though in real life you'd just go to the roundabout at the end of the road). Anyway I was rubbish, ran the bike up onto the grass verge and had to jump off it etc. etc. So we abandoned that for the day and he took me out and I didn't know whether he was giving me a lesson, but he took me all round the (huge) industrial estate and down some country lanes, with me in front most of the way. I can do over 30 mph now! Cool! He says next session we will just concentrate on U-turns and then take me into town and that will be it. I told the secretary so I could book the session and she said I should take my driving licence back with me next time. So, yes, it will be a shameful girlie grannie bike for the time being but at least it will get me out onto the road. Today has got rid of my nerves. I wanted to ask - is it like learning to drive a car, when you generally give your instructor a little gift when you pass? I am getting all these extra sessions at no extra cost and today was pretty well the equivalent of an hour's private instruction. When I do succeed I think I should give them something, but I don't know if that's what people do.

So how did you get on, Ryan Ayr? I'm trying to make myself feel less bad by reading other people's terrible CBT experiences and I still haven't come across anybody else as bad as me. Your last post on this thread was in March so I'm assuming you've whizzed off the page to success by now. I had a Yamaha boy on my CBT, too, he had passed his car driving test three weeks previously, aged 17, and was clearly still in victory mode. Infuriating that little kids can do it with no trouble at all, yet I've been driving 40 years and couldn't nail it.

Since I can't find the edit button, I'll have to do this here. Sorry if this bores you but I do feel pleased with myself. My only two aims for today were 1: Don't fall off, 2: Stop panicking about the wobbles. And I did exceed those. I had an hour's session on a Wash and Go (I know, I know - but it seems so girly I might as well call it that) It was okay. I was so nervous when I first got on I was like a baby, almost in tears and saying "I can't do it! I can't do it!" But the first thing was, because it was a scooter, it was much easier to keep upright whilst stationary and twisting the throttle. And it felt much better even at that very slow speed moving forward. The instructor came and stood behind me, like everybody's dad but mine when they are teaching the children to ride a bike (my dad wasn't the sort who helped and he wouldn't let me have a bicycle anyway), and because I thought maybe he had his hand on the back, I was able to go forward. Of course it's basically a pushbike with a motor: the brakes are in the same place. All I had to get used to was that counter-intuitive feeling of turning my hand back towards myself to go faster, and forward away from myself to slow down. I didn't fall off once and was soon doing figures-of-eight and reasonably tight turns, and then all the way up to a dizzying 15 - 20 miles an hour. I could do with a long straight stretch to increase the speed, because although I can see that there's plenty of room to slow down before the end of the car park where we practice, I don't feel as though there is, and that inhibits me from getting up the speed. The instructor said he didn't see me wobble and just kept encouraging me, the only correction he made was to tell me to hold the throttle properly rather than what I was doing, which was basically using my forefinger and thumb so I could hover the rest of my hand over the brake!

Had another session today on a wash & go. Didn't fall off didn't break the bike The instructor praised me Next CBT booked - unfortunately I can't do this till 12th July due to prior commitments, but still, it's good that he thinks I'm ready for it. I was SO nervous, today was make-or-break day as far as I was concerned, and right at the start my nerve failed completely and I didn't even think I was going to be able to move at all. But it was okay. It's like a giant pushbike. I've never driven an automatic car so it took a bit of getting used to that you can't slow down using the gears, so that was something else to learn. And how come 20 mph when I was driving felt so much faster that 80 mph on the back of my husband's bike yesterday?

I do hope so, Deso. Thanks for the encouragement.

I have booked a lesson next week on a twist&go. Oh, the shame. Still as it's my balance and steering I need to sort out, it does make sense to take the gears out of the equation for a while. The girl taking the booking said "We'll put you on an automatic for next time and then we'll take it from there." What does that mean? that they are already considering that I might not make it? that they've already decided I'm useless and hopeless? How I wish I could manage not to over-think things! Maybe she just meant what she said literally, with no reading between the lines or dark hints of failure. And if they say "Go, never darken our doors again," that doesn't mean I have to give up,does it? I can go elsewhere, or practice on private roads till I'm ready to do my CBT again

Thank you, Deso. I will ask them today.

Thank you. I don't know if they have rev & go at the centre I'm going to, I will ask, I'll tell them I've asked others to see what they think so they know I'm not just making it up out of desperation - I just think that as I have to learn on gears anyway, wouldn't I just have to start all over again? You know how if you pass your driving test in an automatic car, you can't drive a car with gears? Is it like that? Wouldn't I just be making it harder for myself? As for a scooter, well, that has been suggested, but I'm afraid I've got an age thing going on here. A chick in Barbie pink on a pink scooter would look cool. But I fear I would just be pointed at and laughed at by schoolchildren. Not that they could tell I looked like one of their teachers with my helmet on, of course. To be fair, when I think about it, I have probably ridden for a sum total of 30 - 45 minutes. The little 17 year old had nailed it by then. But he's 17, isn't he? Young enough to learn quickly, young enough to have no fear. I always tell other people that they shouldn't compare themselves with others. And if it hadn't been for the clutch lever, I would have been straight back on that bike. just like you get straight back on a horse - providing you haven't broken the horse.

My story is that I went to do my CBT two weeks ago without any idea of what to expect. I have never been confident on two wheels (never having been allowed a pushbike as a child). The only experience i have is a few rides on the back of my husband;s bike. Everybody assured me it is less scary if you are the driver and have the control. I failed miserably. Couldn't co-ordinate clutch and throttle, couldn't change gear, couldn't steer, couldn't balance, fell off once, dropped the bike once, my arms and shoulders were so rigid I could barely move them and I was so nervous I couldn't concentrate. There were 3 of us - a 30+ year old girl and a 17-yr-old lad who had passed his car driving test 3 weeks ago, and me. I am 60 and have been driving for 40 years. I got so mad and frustrated with myself the instructor took me off the bike and made me sit it out, until letting me back on at the end for a tootle round the car park just to end on a good note. Possibly my cursing and swearing was putting the others off. I tried again today and it was even worse. I thought I was going to nail it this time but the usual problem - lack of confidence - every time I asked the bike to go a bit faster it went a bit faster and then I panicked - those of you who ride horses will be familiar with that feeling when it decides to tank off and you get a bit left behind - anyway, it wasn't long before I fell off again and this time the clutch lever broke and we had to stop as there wasn't a spare bike available. I felt marginally better about this when my husband told me he always carries a spare clutch lever with him. I wasn't going to tell anybody about my CBT - the plan was to pass and then surprise my son by turning up at his house on a bike - but at the moment that just ain't going to happen and I feel so disheartened, angry and disappointed with myself. And it has leaked out now and my husband has told everybody I am trying, so I have to pass now. But one or two more falls like this and my confidence is just going to be completely destroyed.