Tinkicker

Well how we were going top get back to blighty has been unceremoniously resolved. It nearly killed the both of us. I have not had an in flight emergency of such epic proportions since I was in combat over the Euphrates Dam and got stitched real good by a ZSU 23.... Met Debs in the hotel breakfast room and it transpires that she had a conversation with James last night. It transpires that an elderly Cessna 404 needed ferrying back to the UK. So not quite the little mini break I thought it was, devious bugger. Debs needs to get home for her airline schedule, so it is going to be a very long flight.. So we trundle up to have a look at this page of ancient history. The engineer approaches us and tells the sorry tale. It has been parked on the ramp, unused for the last five years and has just been sold to a UK aerial survey company and needs ferrying back to the UK. I ask if it will fly? Oh yes, I have changed the oil and run up both engines and checked the essential systems. Fuel, electrical power and props all fine. Are you going to accompany me on the test flight? Oh no, I cannot, I get terribly air sick. Hmm. Look, I will start the engines for you. In he jumps and both engines start up immediately. Well it sounds reasonably healthy... He jumps out and looks at me expectantly. Well, I suppose I ought to give it a chance. Debs jumps straight in. " Cmon, it is an adventure". Manly pride comprehensively dented, i reluctantly climb in. Man, what a shed. Only the very best in 1970s technology in here. OK, here we go, I advance the throttles and gallop down the runway. She sounds fit enough and the gauges are steady. We climb up to 4000ft and i start checking the systems. Autopilot. Inop apparently. Not good. I am liking this less and less. I switch on the deicing system and look out the window to watch the de icing boots pulse. Nothing. De ice inop. I look to the gauges and find that number two prop has fallen out of sync a little. I pull it back into sync. It falls out of sink again. I look to the manifold pressure gauge, that too is out of sync, we are losing the engine. Fuel pressure looks good, so it is not a cracked injector pipe, it must be eating its turbo. I start the turn back from whence we came. The engine suddenly gave a few backfires and the manifold pressure dropped like a rock. No choice but to cut the ignition and feather the prop. I advance the throttle on the left engine and run the prop right to the top of the non emergency max allowable setting and hope she stays within the single engine control speed. We gingerly continue our turn into the live engine, all the while keeping well away from the edge of the single engine min speed envelope. If we cross it, I will have to pull the power on the good engine, dive to increase sufficient speed and increase power again, or failing that, ditch into the sea. Thankfully I have a few knots to play with. I pull out of the turn and we start to pick up a little airspeed, then I find a biggie.. A HUGE bug. Asymmetric thrust is not modelled. Instead of burying my foot deep into the left rudder pedal to maintain course, nothing. It flies along as innocently at 130kts as on two engines. That is one hell of a miss. Right engine stopped and prop feathered. She behaves as if nothing happened. No rudder trim required. She will not spin out of the sky, no matter how the speed drops. That is a HUGE miss by the devs. Coming down the pipe towards the field again, I find another lovely failure waiting in the wings. Barrelling down the pipe at 140kts, I pull back on the left throttle to slow down. No change in sound from the left engine. I look to the manifold pressure gauge. 35 inches as before. I pull the throttle all the way back, the gear horn blares. I look at the gauge - 35 inches. The throttle is jammed almost wide open. I glance over at Debs and see her eyes are getting wider and wider, she is clearly terrified. I wish I stopped her from coming along. I feel very saddened for her. I have one more trick in my bag of experience.. As we approach the runway threshold, still at 140kts, I cut the mags on the left engine, drop the gear and flaps and cross control her to shed as much speed as possible. I fear those probably dry rotted tyres will blow, and if so, I will not be able to keep her on the runway. Since there are large bodies of water either side of the runway, that means going for a swim. She touches down with a large puff of tyre smoke and I stand on the brakes, We floated a long way down the runway and the end is fast approaching. And down. Left engine is ticking and clicking furiously as it cools down. We used over 3/4 of the runway to get down and stopped. A frightened and very tearful Debs. She got out of the aircraft, and from what I can gather from her very sweary phone call to her husband, James will be sleeping in the spare room for quite a while. So now we wait for a scheduled flight to get us home.

I told the missus about my new copilot. Under no circumstances, am I allowed to share a cockpit with her ever again.. Apparently, sharing a cockpit with a fun loving aviation expert , who enjoys a laugh, and happens to be very pretty is not a good thing...

And down we are at corfu. She says I conducted myself professionally throughout the flight, but my landing was a bit of a white knuckler. Still, nothing broken and it was my first ever 737 landing. The 737 is a ponderous beast when you get low and slow, but you get there in the end. I know just enough about her to get myself killed... Backtracking towards the Corfu passenger terminal.

Yes, not bad is she? Sat here in the cockpit in VR, she is incredibly realistic, even her movements look natural. James is a very lucky man. Just crossing the Alps. Absolutely no angst whatsoever, unlike the commanche. Fuel is going to be a concern, its going to be tight. Did not know we only had a partial fuel load until after takeoff and had time to find the gauges... Once we hit Northern Italy, I am going to start a slow descent.

The phone rings... Hello its James.. Hi Listen, I want you to accompany my wife down to Corfu. We have a private charter jet to relocate.. A jet? That's the general idea. But your wife is an airline pilot... Is she? I had rather forgot.. pillock. Yes she is a 737 Max pilot and is going to relocate this aircraft for us. I want you to go along as second dicky. she will give you a check ride on the basics on the way. Be sure that is all she gives you...... At my age? Chance would be a fine thing. I know, but to be sure, i laced your coffee with Bromide this morning... feeling OK? But I know nothing about 737s, only ever sat in the back of one. You will get the hang of it. Goodbye bzzz. James has been very generous with this flight, essentially a free day out at the owners expense. wonder how we will get home? So I find myself sat in the captains seat of a Boeing 737 max, looking at a bewildering display of controls. At least I have a very attractive young lady to keep me company.. I think flying it will not be a problem, I have thousands of hours of fast military jet time, but the autopilot navigation systems and finding corfu???? I have a very steep learning curve ahead. Sat at end of runway 32 complete with a little eye candy.. albeit a do not touch one. Will I survive, or will I have to start another character at zero hours if I kill myself.. At least the eye candy knew how to start the thing up.. Well, managed to get it staggering into the air, figured out out to use the basic functions of the autopilot and here we are at cruise level, 34,000ft, a few miles shy of the south coast; headed in the general direction of Corfu at .76 mach. A bewildering cockpit, but I managed to find the cruise checklist and was able to find and switch on all that should be on, and all that should be off.

Well it looks like I am grounded due to the weather this weekend. Not worth the risk.. I think I will take a holiday in Florida or somewhere else warm and sunny this weekend. Poor viz, low cloud and freezing fog. https://metar-taf.com/EGNM

This one has all the hallmarks of an unsold ex demonstrator, clogging up showroom space for years before being dumped into the auctions. Not sure about the vendor though and you do not state how old you are prepared to go. Full matching luggage is a bonus. https://www.autotrader.co.uk/bike-details/202502068797819?advertising-location=at_bikes For me, this is the better bet.. Looks like a very well cared for, summer only bike. https://www.autotrader.co.uk/bike-details/202502129014684?advertising-location=at_bikes

Well.. In the cold light of day that revved up. Broke a major rule in going on my kindle when ratted. It takes away my ability to sift the wheat from the chaff. Never get offensive, but I do know I can get uncharacteristically contentious. Apologies to all.

Change in airflow over the aircraft structure. Huge increase in drag and lower lift generated by the wing due to the altered airfoil shape. Also, the propellor, also an airfoil, just turned 90 fegrees to the wing and spinning to create "lift" is also subject to ice accretion, which destroys its efficiency for converting engine power to thrust. Remember Xmas eve over Iceland? Full emergency power could not keep her in the air, even in level flight.

Indeed RTW. Confusion. As part of my management training, we had a questionaire filled out about each one of us, by the other course members about how we perceived each other. As a quiet and what I considered that I was a gentle, kindly bloke, I was very surprised to find that others found me to be quite intimidating. How so? No idea. I know I have a very laser like focus, perhaps that is it, or perhaps it is that trivial BS smalltalk has no interest to me. I do not fill the air with trivial words because I am uncomfortable with silence.. Maybe that is it also.. It certainly was not how I saw myself and still don't. I am a big softy. I am always ready to offer help and support and cry real tears when a bloke in thailand on youtube plays his piano for his beloved elephants enjoyment... Neverless, surface perception is everything. The greatest gift is to know thyself. If not, your true friends will tell you. If you piss them off...

You have done nothing wrong other than you sticking your foot firmly in your mouth. I called you on it. (BTW do not try to play the victim card, another control measure used by the passive aggressive. I spotted it for what it was immediately , I have had a little psychological observational training in a previous life...) Lets leave it at that. No worries. Tomorrow is another day. I regret this situation, but you know what they say.... Never turn a quiet bloke. While everyone else is talking, they are quietly observing..

But it was not answered. The gen 10 civic engine is not designed by "japanese engineers" it is a German engine.. Jeeze.

Laugh all you want... The laugh icon.. The preserve of the passive aggressive) You do not look any better than you do right now in my eyes. Goodnight sweet prince.

Oil absorbes moisture. Moisture corrodes engine parts. Esp in the top end.. It is not rocket science.... I have had a beer or two and am about to say something I always try to avoid. Stand down RWS. A tiny bit of knowledge is a very dangerous thing. You come from a sample of one. I base my findings on a sample of a couple of thousand.... I apologise, but in my present state, I have to speak out. Perhaps in the morning, I will regret my words, I usually do, or maybe not. I am a quiet bloke, but sometimes..... People yank my chain.. RWS consider my chain comprehensibly yanked. I do not like the passive aggressive crap.

I was riding the train south to St Pancras, therin to catch the Euro star to Calais, thence a taxi to the local airfield where the Comanche has been sat all week. Poor weather over the UK inc low cloud, moist air and freezing conditions at low altitude meant that attempting to fly home would be a final mistake. I arrive at the aircraft, give it a thorough pre flight, throw my flight bag on the rear seat and strap myself in. Fuel valves to tip tanks, battery on, fuel boost pump on, check fuel pressure. We have good fuel pressure, the tip tanks are feeding correctly. Fuel pump off. Prop condition to fine. Unscrew the primer and give her six pumps, screw it back in again. Mags to both and hit the starter button. count five blades, quickly advance the throttle half way and quickly return it to just cracked open. I have found this to be the best way to start this particular aircraft. Every one is different. Check oil pressure is rising, set throttle to maintain 1000rpm to let her warm up. Lean mixture to avoid plug fouling and misfires. Oil warm, set rpm to 2000 and bring the prop back to 1500 rpm. Observe to ensure she holds it. Back to 2000rpm, observe that it returns to as originally set. Back to 1400 rpm and repeat the process. We have a good prop governor with nice warm oil in it now. Mags. Switch from both to right. 100rpm drop. Good mag. Switch to both. 100rpm rise. Switch to left mag. 100rpm drop, again a good mag, back to both. Check fuel and oil pressure once again, both good. Final check of oil temp and we are ready for taxi clearance to the runway. Off we go, from a slightly misty France, headed for blighty. I take her up to 4000ft to clear the fog bank and see the UK coastline ahead. UK coast ahead. Dover straight ahead, Folkstone to the left after the left hand cliffs end and Deal would be to the right, out of screenshot. I head closer to London before setting course for Leeds this time, I want a change of scenery. I turn onto direct heading for Leeds somewhere close to Maidstone and cross the Thames just to the east of Gravesend and Tilbury. Then a bit of excitement. By this time the overcast had appeared and forced me down to 3000ft, where I droned on quite happily just below the cloud layer... The autopilot gave a beep, it was asking for more nose up trim. a glance at the ASI showed me the bad news. The airspeed had dropped from 160mph to 140mph with no change to throttle settings. A quick look out of the side window showed why. We were in a shower of freezing rain and it was building quickly on the wing leading edges and the side window. Since the Comanche will not carry enough ice to fill a whisky tumbler, we had to descend to warmer air quick smart, so down we go to 1000ft. Clear ice rapidly building on wing leading edge and side window. A big surprise, I never considered I was in ice conditions. No warning whatsoever. The ice melted and the outside temp gauge showed warmer air in the St Neots area. I thought St Neots was Milton Keynes originally, based purely on the large number of roundabouts I could see, but a look at the map showed a town with river on western side, a lake to the south and a large lake a few miles to the north to actually be St Neots. Aviation charts do not bother with names of towns and cities as they are irrelevant. they only give you airfields as it is only airfields that you can land on, so unless I look at a conventional map, I have no idea what that large city i just flew over actually is. I can hazard an educated guess, but that is it. We continue on and arrive over Leeds at low level. I turn mode C on the transponder off, lest I get a telling off from Leeds approach for low flying, although I was still technically legal, I was also, being an international flight, flying on an IFR flight plan. Low level over Leeds. Elland Road, home of Leeds United in the foreground. I am at a little over 1500ft, so technically still legal. And finally home after a grueling round trip of 3600 nautical miles and 20 hours flight time. Finally, you may wonder how detailed and "correct" the ground details are that are not visible from a higher altitude. Judge for yourself. Real Elland Road.. albeit, on a less gloomy day.

Once again I ran out of time and instead of heading home, I put down near Calais. Twas a much longer flight than anticipated. This was last Sunday. I forget the details, but there was nothing special going on throughout the flight, so I will just include some screenshots of the run north west towards blighty. In the interests of continuity, I am just about to embark on the last leg back to Leeds. Weather seems OK. Overcast, Ceiling 2000ft and a 11kt wind down runway 32. Flying over Austria, nice and sunny weather and the Danube, indeed appears to be blue.. I made a beeline for Stuttgart instead of heading to Munich to cut down on the time of flight. Stuttgart made and set sail for Brussels... Did not see any sign of the Porsche factory, but then I did not know what to look out for. Overflying Luxembourg. I took the screenshot for a reason, but it escapes me.. All the pic caption says is "luxembourg". We come to Brussels and set course for Calais. By now it is very apparent I am out of time and will have to put down near the French coast. No time to write up the story and put flesh on its bones. A week later and the cryptic titles of the screenshots leave me as baffled as they would you. Apologies for a very sub par tale.. "Brussels"

One non essential part was missing from my DT175mx. The helmet lock. At £95 plus shipping, it was going to stay missing. Even the odd rusty used ones turning up on fleabay were upwards of £50. Two years of searching later, I came across a company in Singapore specialising in NoS bike parts and found they just got a new one in stock for £50 and free airmail shipping to the UK. Duly ordered. https://www.oldpartsshop.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=1584

I know being an "engine man" myself, that I am treating this honda most cruelly this year. I was not happy in the years previously, but as mentioned, for the simpest of reasons, this has been the worst. A bloody set of big gates to keep the missus's irish wolfhound contained within... Sure honda could look at all scenarios and made the spool valve out of Ti, as well of as look at every other aspect of every other possible scenario. the cost of such a modest vehicle would be just shy of £500,000. Obvously, that would not fly. I am an "engine man" and I know in this instance, the fault is my own lazyness in not opening those gates twice a week on the weekend. A big part of my job was once forensically inspecting and analysing (and 75% of the time rejecting) warranty claims for bus engines departed from this world unexpectedly. I have to apply the self same logic and discipline to my own situation. Early Cam belt failure, Honda problem. Crap duty cycle and a resulting corroded VVT actuator spool valve assembly is down to me. Of course, In my case, the circumstance is not sufficiently provable to apportion blame in a court of law, so I am not picking up the tab; Honda is, but be under no illusions, I killed that engine. Honda knows that 10% of vehicles will suffer this duty cycle, and adjust the retail price accordingly. I learned and will alter my behaviour. Missus groans about opening "her" gates on a weekend. " Lets go in the fiesta, its easier". I will no longer give in. Get em open, the car needs exercise. I bet most would never imagine a set of big wooden gates causing an engine failure... Welcome to the esetoric world of the automotive engineer...

Alterations to fairing, paint, graphics ect devalue the bike. Prospective buyers prefer original and wonder why it has needed a repaint, new fairing, different graphics ect. Likewise "sponsors stickers" on a road bike ring alarm bells. Not only because it reflects the owners particular taste, but what are all these changes hiding? And if "race repped" is the owner a hooligan that canes the life out of his bikes? All the above and I would turn the page and look for something original.

Turned out it was the VVT actuator that shat itself. I cannot blame honda for that really, Purely down to how the vehicle is being used. This winter, unlike the last two, the car has not been getting as many long fast runs. New big gates are a pain to open for a quick run into selby, and we have been jumping into the mrs's fiesta which is parked out on the road... That needs to be remidied...

Enjoy the sound of that V4.

I cleared immigration and hoisted my flight bag up onto my shoulder and made for the arrival hall exit. I was in very familiar territory. Unlike previous times though, there were no smiling holiday reps waiting to show me to the hotel shuttle bus, I was on my own. No problem though, the hotel I was staying at this time was in Skiathos Town, and a mere 500 yard walk away from the airport. I walked down the road, past a low wall and smiled. I recall sitting on that wall many times, trying not to get blown off by the jetblast of passenger jets going to full takeoff power on the other side of the airport fence. Today, the weather is a bit different though. Broken cloud and just 6C. I checked into the hotel and had a look in the bar to see if the boys had arrived yet. Yep, there they were in the corner, four of them huddled around a table. Two sooties, a sparks and a tin basher. A comprehensive crew indeed. Must be quite a task they have, repairing the ailing engine and not cheap either, Pratt and Whitney are not known for selling discounted parts. I was greeted like a long lost son. What on earth has got into them? Then the truth was out. I had the company credit card. I was to be the provider of food, drink and be the chief purser. No wonder they were relieved to see me. The week passed without incident and the lads quickly had the aircraft running once more, we were just waiting for the flight crew to fly in to give it a flight test, so we had time to hire a car and check out the island. No one else had been on the island previously and I knew it very well, so not only was I quartermaster and purser, I was now a tour guide. I found it a slightly depressing experience, almost all of my old haunts were closed up for the winter and the weather remained cloudy and cold. Skiathos was practically deserted. Only Skiathos Town had any life going on. Apparently those that ran businesses on the island retreated to Skiathos Town out of the tourist season, or went back to their families in Athens. I did find one oft frequented taverna still open on Troulos beach that catered to the locals during the winter, but again it was a slightly deressing experience. I sat inside, nursing a cold mythos and looking out of the window at the deserted patio right on the beach. I looked at the spot where my usual sunny table was situated and of course it wasn't there. Just an empty space on a sand, leaf and empty paint tin strewn patio in dire need of a good sweep. The once pristine beach was heaped with piles of dead seagrass washed up by the winter storms... I sighed. I was really missing my missus. I will be glad to get home. The very same missus, six months after we first met, way back in 1995 that started me out on my aviation story. I had always been mad about aircraft and had bookcases full of books about aviation. Of course, I could not become a pilot because a friend at school who was an air cadet told me that all pilots needed 20:20 vision and I needed to wear glasses in class. Birthday 1995 and the soon to be missus presented me with a wet and chewed up envelope. Yes the dog had eaten it... I opened it and removed a somewhat tattered and chewed ticket. It said I was to report to knightair ( soon to be multiflight), for a 1hr trial lesson in a light aircraft at my earliest convenience. Fun fact: if you had the original analogue Sky TV before Sky digital came out, the receiving equipment was manufactured by Pace Electronics in Bradford and the owner of Pace kept his Cessna Citation V at knightair. And yes, he did have a timepiece on his wrist as big as the town hall clock. All my stories and characters have a large element of truth about them. In any case, he ended up purchasing knightair from a distraught owner and transformed it from a fairly small aircraft service operation, tiny commuter airline serving the oil industry, flight training center and flying club, to the huge global operation it was to become. Happened just a few months before I arrived on the scene at knightair and the atmosphere was still pretty gloomy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knight_Air_Flight_816 I duly turned up and it turned out that years of reading hundreds of books about aviation, and daily daydreams about flying had equipped me for just the occasion. Once we were in the air in a C152 aerobat, and the controls handed over to me, it transpired that I could fly well. It was all so natural. The only surprising thing was just how sensitive the controls were. No pushing and pulling manfully on the yoke, or jerking the stick around the cockpit like in the movies. A slight pressure was enough to effect big changes in direction. Keep it light and keep it smooth....fingertips only. I asked the instructor about wearing contacts or glasses and it turns out my know all schoolmate had given me false information. My flying career could have started when I first started work and had money to spend on flying lessons. I am an idiot for taking him at his word. I could have been a commercial pilot by then, not repairing trucks and heavy excavators. I broke out of my reverie by a ringing phone. The flight crew had arrived and it was back to business. Time to load up and get back to the missus. Todays flight plan is overfly Vienna then on to Munich. Weather for Vienna and Munich is pretty much ideal, so should be an easy flight. We take off from Skiathos in 5/8ths broken cloud and head out on our first leg of 640 miles and 4 hrs duration. I was looking forward to a little sightseeng. Greece is my very favourite place in the world and I was looking forward to seeing as much of its coastline as possible. Unfortunately, as ever, the cloud had other ideas. The broken 5 octas became 7 octas and I had to almost immediately start the climb above them. Glass mountains everywhere. Once again the cloud denied any low level sightseeing opportunities. It demanded that I climb above. Glass mountains hiding in the clouds ahead, just waiting to snatch me out of the sky. 100 miles or so later, the clouds are breaking up as forecast and we enter clear air. I descend to 4000ft in the hope of a little sightseeing on this long journey. Unfortunately the terrain scope is showing pretty solid reds ahead, and it is clear that it is pointless staying low. Be professional, not a tourist. I have to climb again. Flying low over mountains in a single engine light aircraft is a good way to die. Engine failure over mountains is a big concern. In addition, anabatic and katabatic winds can cause all sorts of dire maladies for light aircraft, from sudden cloud and icing to wind rotors and downdraughts that will easily pluck an aircraft from the sky. Terrain everywhere. I cannot stay here. What a pity. I can hear Don now.. You are supposed to be a professional pilot, not a bloody tourist. Get with the program.. We are in a very mountainous part if the world. People think of mountains and think it is just the Alps. In actual fact, most of southern europe is mountainous. I have to stay well above the peaks for 500 miles or more. Crossing the point where Serbia, Bosnia and Croatia meet. The sun is on its way down. We drone on. The sun has now set and we are crossing Hungary. I left the moutains behind, and I can let down and enjoy the flight. The moon is out and it is a beautiful evening for flying. I lean forward and look up through the windshield. There above is the milky way in all its majesty. Stunning. Unfortunately, what I can see in the headset is way too faint for a screenshot to pick up. I did try. A lovely evening approaching lake balaton in northern Hungary. A strong tailwind means my SoG is 195mph. Wheeeeee! It is long past beer oclock on a Saturday evening by now. The missus is asking how long I will be before landing just as I turn towards Munich. Munich is 198 miles. Well over an hour. Change of plan. I will stay the night in Vienna. I wheel the aircraft around and enter the traffic pattern for Vienna Airport. Decisive turn over downtown Vienna. What would be called in civil aviation as an "unusual attitude". And down in Vienna. Time for a beer. 640 miles and 4hrs 16mins logged. My backside is absolutely numb from sitting in my pit so long. Route. Proposed portion in yellow is sacrificed on the alter of beer. It means a far longer flight home tomorrow. So be it.

Dayco have a lot to answer for....

Wet belts are cheaper than chains or gears, yet are more efficient in transferring power than standard dry belts. That is the thinking. Give me a geared cam drive any day. There is a reason why heavy duty diesels do not have camchains or belts...

To be fair, it does not have a good life. I drive to work 4 days a week, barely 4 miles each way, hence the ridiculously low mileage. I do go the longer and faster way round to try and get some heat into the oil, albeit only a few hundred yards longer, but in the winter, the temp gauge barely moves before I get to work, and that is with the climate control temp turned right down. Not a problem in summer. Engine is at normal temp. On a weekend, I do try to give it a longer run into Selby, to evaporate as much moisture out of the oil as possible, but despite this, I bet the oil has a high moisture content. Not good for the engine, but nothing I can do about it. Last time it was on a motorway was probably four or five months ago, I think that has a big bearing on the issue of why it failed when it did. Sustained higher than normal RPMs.