Ben_E

this is now on my facebook page! haha It's amazing how many people don't get it though

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!

He was in ecstasy, with a smile on his face, As his girlfriend moved forwards then backwards..... forwards then backwards..... back and forth.. back and forth.. In and out.. in and out.. Her heart was pounding faster, her face was getting flushed & she started to grunt and groan. Then she let out one almighty scream!!! "I can't park this f***ing car! You do it!"

Murphy and Mary decide to try a 69. Murphy's never tried it so Mary says she'll show him. She tells him to lie on the floor and squats over him. As she lowers herself onto his face she farts. Apologizing, she tries again but farts again. Murphy jumps up and storms out yelling, "You can f**k right off if you think i'm hanging around for another 67 of them."

I've got a mate at work who lives up Huntingdon way, i'll ask him tomorrow if he knows any good places in the area seeing as you seem to be struggling with your local place.

Thanks guys

I had quite a big off on the m25 on sunday and although i'm ok (and very very lucky to have walked away from it relatively unscathed) my leather trousers and textile jacket are in need of a bit of attention. My jacket's generally ok apart from a bit of light scuffing on the right arm and back but sliding along the tarmac has worn through the material on the left elbow through to the armour and broken some of the stitching in the same place. The leather trousers have some light scuffing to the leather generally (the knee sliders seem to have taken the brunt of the tarmacs fury), but it has evidently worn through quite deep in one particular place and again, the stitching has broken in a couple of places where it's obviously been in contact with the road. Can anyone recommend a good leather/textile repairers or am i best off just chucking them away and investing in a new set. I'd rather not have to as they weren't exactly cheap but the accident has reinforced the importance of wearing the right equipment and the need for them to be in the best possible condition, and i'm really not keen on the idea of riding around in gear (when i get the bike back) with broken stitching. Thanks Ben

As per the title. Did it with Hertfordshire police last weekend and have to say i really enjoyed it! After getting over the initial nerves of being followed by plod it was actually quite funny watching other drivers suddenly driving properly when we were around. And it was a very nice feeling when he thanked me for being the first person to ride above 40 all day He had some advice for me, road positioning on left hand corners mostly, and the occassional missed lifesaver but all in all he was very positive about my riding which bearing in mind i only passed my test in january i was well pleased with. And to top it all off for the cost of an hour and a half of my time and 40 miles worth of petrol i get a £20 refund on my insurance Well worth doing if you get the chance!

Another HGV driver here, this guys behaviour isn't endemic of all of us.....honest! Unfortunately it's the case that there are complete mazda's about in all vehicles be that hgv's, cars or bikes. I was sat at traffic lights on a roundabout just yesterday and in the next lane was a biker followed by a lorry right up his arse. He kept revving his engine making the truck lurch forward (right behind the bike) so the biker motioned to him to stop and keep back, which the hgv ignored. To his eternal credit (from what i could see) when the lights went green the biker just sat there and didn't move much to the other drivers annoyance. Looked like the bike tore off before the lights went red leaving the lorry stuck there! I can't really add any advice that hasn't already been said but just ride for yourself and don't let yourself get panicked by it, as i dare say that's a sure fire way of making a mistake and ending up under their wheels coz they're following so close. Dominate your lane, don't give anyone the excuse to have a go and if it's bothering you that much pull over when safe to do so and let them pass. It's really not worth the distraction to your attention to what's going on ahead. Good luck.

I want a kriega r35 but can't afford it at the mo. If you just want something for the time being or occasssional use the one i'm using at the mo came from Lidls (or however you spell it) and cost me £12! It can't hold a huge amount of stuff (maybe 15-20l or so) but it's enough for day to day use, it's armoured and is really comfortable without getting in the way when you're riding.

Thanks guys. It's been a mission what with one thing and another and the snow certainly didn't help but i got there in the end and am very much looking forward to life on two wheels!

Got to my training school this morning not all that confident the test would actually happen due to the ice everywhere, but after talking to my instructor we figured it was worth a punt anyway so we got to the test centre to be told my test (8.30am) was cancelled but they had a free slot at 9.30 if i wanted to wait for that one instead. I figured that was a bit of a stupid question to ask (obviously i didn't point that out) but said yes and settled down to smoke the first of many cigarettes! 9.30 came and the examiner came out, checked my licence then took me outside for the eyesight test (which made me realise just how much i need new glasses!) then on to the questions. Nice and simple: how do you check the condition of the chain, show me how to check the brakes and what would you adjust when carrying a pillion. Then we get out on the road and all is going well. He got me to pull over behind a parked car then pull out then a bit further down he got me to do it again. I was a bit worried that i pulled out too close to an oncoming car but put it out of my mind so as not to lose concentration. We did the independant ride which thankfully took us back near to the test centre and after a few more turns and roundabouts and noticing a 20mph speed sign at the last minute we were back. I followed him into the test centre and into the little room to hear those magic words: 'You have passed.' He then ran me through my minors.....one for not doing a lifesaver when merging lanes and one for not checking my mirrors when pulling over. Finally that's it! For one reason or another it's been a mission getting here but finally i have my bike licence!!

Good luck Ben_E - enjoy it. As others have said, do your observations and enjoy the ride. Be positive and don't run anyone over at mini-roundabouts. I nearly failed for that, but they stopped walking before the half way line across the road. Thanks Mikey. Any idea what bike you want yet?

Congrats Mikey, hopefully i'll be joining you on tuesday

You too mate.

Hello again Mikey. Yeah i'm doing it with vision, got mine on the 9th!!

I think my little rant may have worked, i got one in 2 weeks time

I work rolling shift patterns so it's difficult to know when i'm working from one week to the next. I had felt a bit reluctant to go to a different training school due to knowing the guy who runs the school i'm with (and getting a nice discount!) but for some reason if you're not doing an intensive course they don't seem to be able/willing to book for you. Enough's enough now though, time to look elsewhere methinks!

I'm getting so incredibly fed up with the DSA at the moment I'm actually considering giving up on the idea of getting my licence. I've taken my mod 1 with no hassle but trying to get a mod 2 test at Enfield test centre is an absolute mission. I had one booked 3 weeks ago but got a call from them that morning saying the examiner was sick so they would have to move my test back by 2 hours. Fair enough i thought until i called my training company to inform them and they were unable to accomodate that. They told me they got this excuse quite a lot and that it was most likely that the DSA wanted to fit in another test and when i called the DSA back to try and sort something out they tried to charge me for the test that i then had toi cancel because i couldn't get a bike to do it on! (many expletives later and after being handed around what felt like every department in the place they 'graciously' agreed to refund me the money for the test) Since then i've been on the phone to them at least 3 times a week to try and get another test booked and twice so far they've agreed to reserve a test for me whilst i call my training company to see if they can fit me in and by the time i've called back within 5 minutes or so the test has been given to somebody else! I'm going to get off my soapbox now, just had to rant. Anyone else had problems with them? (I'm not actually going to give up on my licence, especially as i'm nearly there now, because i enjoy riding far too much. I just can't believe it seems to run by complete feckin' monkeys!)

Thanks guys, and good luck Mikey. I see you're in st albans too, are you doing your training with vision? The most fun thing about it all was the ride home from the test centre. Having just passed and feeling all confident the ride home was amazing fun, although it probably wasn't the case it really felt like i could have got my knee down if i'd wanted to! Before learning to ride, i never quite properly understood why bikers called it the permanent grin club. Now i do!

Nothing constructive to say really, other than wanting to shout from the rooftops about passing mod 1 today Second attempt after rather foolishly putting my foot down on the figure of 8 last time, but after having words with myself due to messing it up practicing before the test i got through it this time! Looking forward to mod 2 now, if you can look forward to a driving test.

Well i've done my first lesson now and have to say it was brilliant!!!!! I fell off when doing a u-turn (having a bit of difficulty with slow riding but bearing in mind i've ridden a bike for the grand total of my cbt and a two hour lesson i'm starting to get the hang of it). Just got to wait till monday for my next lesson now

Sorry, i've not got anything constructive to say but i get the distinct impression i'll get knocked out if i mention it to my friends again. Starting my DAS tomorrow and i can't wait!