Two tales of home nudism

[MarkW]

This is apropos of nothing at all really, other than a couple of things that came out of a conversation I was having with someone yesterday.

The first was about having to have other people's god-awful music inflicted on you. Back in the mid-1990s I lived next door to a woman who would come home from work, and immediately put 'Never Forget' by Take That on repeat play. She'd play it over and over and over again until she went to bed. Never any of the rest of the album - just the same track on repeat play. Then we'd get it again in the morning, and when she went out to work she'd let her massive Alsatian out in the back garden where it howled incessantly until she came home. My then-girlfriend went round to complain one day, and when the door opened she found herself face to face with a completely naked woman. Turns out she was an enthusiastic home nudist, and stood on the doorstep completely starkers whilst rowing about her music. In the end my girlfriend stormed back to our house, but not before offering some rather frank advice on the proper maintenance of her bikini line and armpits.

The other was about a very nice elderly lady who came to our house a couple of years ago to talk about God. I'm not a fan of having people proselytizing on my doorstep, but I'm never rude to them when they call. Anyway, my wife had gone out to a class, and had inadvertently taken both sets of front door keys with her. It occurred to me that this very nice lady must think it a bit odd that I was talking to her through a closed door, so just as a joke I said that I hadn't opened it because I was a home nudist and didn't want to give her a shock. Before I had chance to explain I could hear the gate shutting at the bottom of the path.

[XmisterIS]

Should have popped your little lad through the letter box and asked her to pull your pudding. Sounds like you missed out on a hot session of filthy whoopee there.

[MarkW]

"Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth" as the bible says

I once had a pair of old dears from the local church at the door. They asked if I believed in God, and I said that I had recently converted after a lifetime of atheism. They were delighted, and asked what had changed my mind. I said "It was when that satellite went off course and sent back those images of heaven." After another five minutes explanation they were half way to believing me, and I told them they could check it out for themselves because it had been published in the leading science journal "Naturist". Then I suggested they pop into the newsagent on the corner and ask for a copy.

I resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to hell a long time ago...

[Joeman]

I resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to hell a long time ago...

 

given the state of most of the bible bashers, who would want to go to heaven anyway?? I mean, an eternity stuck with people being good and preaching the bible sounds like hell to me...

going to actual hell with all the people who had a good time whilst they were alive, and have some great stories to share sounds like heaven

Bring on the afterlife!!

[MarkW]

Exactly: eternity in the company of people who spent their life trying to convert you, only they'll be even more insufferable because they'll know they were right!

I never understood why the devil would punish the irreligious: surely we're kindred spirits, no?

[Joeman]

Exactly: eternity in the company of people who spent their life trying to convert you, only they'll be even more insufferable because they'll know they were right!

I never understood why the devil would punish the irreligious: surely we're kindred spirits, no?

 

although, once they get to heaven, maybe they all go wild!! i mean, what else do they have to look forward to?

[Mr Fro]

although, once they get to heaven, maybe they all go wild!! i mean, what else do they have to look forward to?

Gardening.