puggybear

...and always remember-fat girls defy the laws of physics.

OHHH,yes they do. The heavier they are,the easier they are to pick up!

Ai thenkyoh.

Y'know,unexpected sex is a REALLY nice way to be woken up.

...unless you're in prison....

I...am bloody BRILLIANT at sleeping!

NOTHING to it-it's so easyI can do it with my eyes closed!

Y'know,I can still remember my first girlfriend,and being invited to stay overnight at her parents house.

Unfortunately,her dad point-blank refused to let us sleep together.

...which was a shame,as he was a real looker.

At the moment,I'm reading ''Under Milk Wood'',which as you'll all know is a classic novel.

BUT - [pauses for effect] ... I'm reading it in it's original Welsh!

Yes - you guessed...it's the Dai Version!

Can someone please explain to me,using short words,which PRAT decided aftershave should sting?!?!?!?

There's a lot of money to be made selling manure!

My mate started selling horse poo...and now he's rolling in it!

Oh;sorry 'Six'....merely my futile attempt at humour.

I shall cease immediately,as soon as I finish reading this book about the invention of superglue.

...it's fascinating - I can't put it down...

Yesterday,I took the M4 out of London.

BUT...

A copper stopped me & made me put it back.

The admin didn't remember me [sob!] as it's been a while. {some of us have t'work...y'know?}

So;they asked me for my password.

I replied TIPPEX. [correct me if I'm wrong]

...and another thing,whilst I'm still gorgeous [huh-as if THAT'D ever change]

I really cannot remember the last time I ate creamed rice!

...which makes me wonder if I'm starting to experience ambrosia...

I just rang my local ramblers club.

WHAT a mistake...whoever answered just went ooon and ooon and oooon and oooon and ... [geddit? huh?]

We all went out for a curry last night,at our local Indian restaurant.

My mate tripped and whacked his head on the tiled floor.

...he's now in a korma.

Did you hear about the confused cat?

...it had a crap,then buried itself...

Did you hear about the confused cat?

...had a crap and buried itself...

Ok,ok....my last bash at humour before I bury my cat.

[he isn't dead-I like like annoying him]

What's the link between Blackpool and Las Vegas? HMM?

Well I'll tell yerz - you can swap chips for sex in both!

Right...s'nuff fer now. Can't have you 'orrible lot smiling,it'd ruin the atmos....

...and for those of you with a more literary outlook,I've just completed writing a novel about gorillas!

...it's due out this very week, in Silverback!...

...oh,plus for yonks,there's a terrible rash all over my mate Marg...

...I can't believe it's not better!

[Ai thenkyoh]

She's left me....just because I'm dyslexic!

...apparently,she's really annoyed that I took ages to find her vinegar...

You think THAT'S bad Stu?

I reckon it's quality,not quantity that really counts,mate.

.....after all,Nigel Armstrong walked on the Moon just ONCE-but nobody'll ever forget his name!

I put a blank CD into my stereo today,then played it at FULL VOLUME for an hour!

....the annoying mime artist who lives next door went totally nuts!

Some rotten scumbag stole my beloved thesaurus today.

...I just cannot find the words to describe how I feel...

I've just had my chest waxed...very much NOT a painless procedure!

...my own fault - should'a gone to Pec Shavers....

I had a slash at 04.30 this morning...pity,coz I woke up at 05.00!

My dictionary has been really unwell lately...

...but it's feeling much better,now I've removed it's appendix!