Zod

There were 2,000 American solders walking a beach in Japan when the general looked up the ridge and saw a MARINE standing all alone he then sent two Soldiers to see what the Lone Marine was doing. Once the men got to the top the Marine ran into the Jungle and the Soldiers followed. Immediate screams of bloody murder were heard and the Marine stepped back out onto the ridge alone. This time the Army general was PISSED and sent two hundred men to see what the hell happened...as the Soldiers approached... the Marine yet again ran into the Jungle and as soon as all 200 soldiers followed him in there...Screams of bloody murder echoed all around and the lone Marine stepped out onto ridge once again....This time the general was enraged and sent the rest off all his men to take that MARINE OUT!!...Just like the two previous attempts as soon as the Soldiers approached the Marine ran into the Jungle and yet again Screams of bloody murder were heard all around...BUT this time the Marine stepped out Carrying a wounded soldier...the soldier was tossed down the ridge and slowly crawled to the general..the Irate general then yelled at the Soldier "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED UP THERE???".....after a few seconds of whimpering the soldier replied with tears in his eyes "SIR....they tricked us!...there were actually Two of THEM!!!!!" There were four drill sergeants standing around a parade square arguing about who's soldiers were the bravest. The RAF Sergeant said that his Reg-Gunner was the bravest and called one over then told him to stand in a bombing zone...He did, and got blown up. The RNY Sergeant said that's nothing and called one of his privates over and said, jump into the sea with no gear on. He did, and drowned. The Royal Marine Sergeant said, shit, any of my guys can do that shit and called one of his privates over and told him to stand in front of a tank when it fires. He did, and had his head blown off. The Army Sergeant said well, I hate to say this but all of them men were f**king pussies and so called one of his privates over, he hands the private his pistol and tells him to point at his own head and shoot. The private replied - f**k YOU SERGEANT!" To that the Army Sergeant replied, see? That takes balls! One night a news company reports on a massacre on a farm in Dallas. Though there was blood everywhere there was no bodies in or around the scene...What the news presenters failed to report on was that the farmer had killed all of his chickens.

Not to forget that a rottweiler's also have lock jaw don't they? I'd hate to be on the wrong end of their bite despite being bitten by one years ago. But I agree I wouldn't have one for a family pet, a guard dog maybe but no family pet. I'm all for German Shepheards tbh

A penguin escapes a zoo and finds itself walking into a catholic church...It comes out a nun. A distressed man walks into a bar one day... He orders himself a pint and while the barman is getting his order the distressed man decides to start a convo... "Eh, are there any zoo's around?" The barman says no. "Are there any zoo's with penguins around?" The barman says no. To that the distressed man replies "Good because I think I've just run over a nun!" Poor misses Connor has lost her husband to cancer. A week after his death she finds herself at his funeral, she goes against his plans of burial. After the funeral she gets a text on her phone from her passed husband... It read "Typical bloody woman!"

Last time I went to a Harvester was back in 97 or 98 with my parents. Like all other things my father disliked the fact that they couldn't cook beef or steak as it should have been cooked and we never went there again But eh, some woman have 3 second memory...I know Selene has

The other day I was chatting with a pal of mine who brought up the beer topic. Now this friend is Irish...About half way through our little conversation he mentioned that he thinks the Welsh are zombies. I asked him why? He said, instead of drinking BEER they drink BRAINS! A 12 year old kid plays COD. He is very annoyed at the fact that he gets killed every five seconds due to what he claims is someone camping at his spawn. He begins to cry, he begins to scream and he begins to smash up his controller until eventually he finally manages to kill someone...With a grenade that also killed himself. To that he plugged in his microphone and started screaming through it at the other players. A server admin enters the server to hear a displeased visitor screaming at other visitors because he's fed up of dying... The server admin kindly tells the kid to shut the hell up and play or be muted. The kid continues. He says something funny which makes the server admin laugh... Kid - If I were ever in the army I would kill every one of you with one bullet! To that the server admin laughs even harder at this kids idiocy. Eventually every player in the server including those on his own team crowd around and start owning him. The kid screams some more.... A member of his family enters his room and records a video...Enjoy! ">

Sad to hear man, hope they make a full recovery.

And for the record you don't need 3 bikes as you only need one. You have the option of either using one of the school's bikes for the test/CBT or your own, and apparently for the A2 test now you can do it on a bike with a max of 92 BHP? I'm sure I read that posted in another topic on here before (If I remember it right I also quoted it...Will look for it now). Edit - Found it

Hmm, looks as if it was done with a flat head screw driver or possibly a small chissel or something...

All the EDL are is football hooligans and nothing more. They claim to stand their ground and protect their identities, I say they don't. They can run around protesting or doing their demos as much as they like yet all they are is puffs, puffs who would rather smash the skulls of innocent muslims all because they apparently harmed or offended them in some way. The EDL don't fight for anything but themselves. As it's the same with the WDL or the SDL. They are nothing more than kids with short tempers tbh... Oh, and I know them two murderous scum bags are far from innocent. My statement was about those muslims who are innocent.

@ Bex - My bad I hadn't watched the video footage until this afternoon. And no, Cameron cannot be held responsible though I will say it again. I hope this is a wake up call. @ Techno & Benn - Yeah? The murder of a kid and a soldier are two completely different things, I am not against the death pentalty as I think that depending on the nature of the case the death penalty is/isn't necessary. You can go back to that thread and re-read what I said all you like, my mind changes all the time. So yeah, you might think I'm a double headed twat and guess what? You'd be right

Hopefully though knowing then they'll invent a reason to worm themselves out of it like they normally do. If I were Cameron right now I would be thinking of booting everyone of them idiots out of the country on a first class flight back to where they came from. If they think they can come here, live among us as apparent innocents and try to get away with murder or terrorist activities then they shouldn't be here in the first place. It just shows what a push over our government is. Them two men should be forced into a room where a number of guards armed with knives, swords and machete's execute them in the very same way they killed that soldier.

I'm sure the majority of you are aware of what's happened today in Woolwich. How could anyone do such a thing and then brag about it on camera saying "This sort of thing happens in my country all the time" which leads me to think that so, it's alright for it to happen in their country so they come here and so the same thing? Pfft. I hope this is a wake up call to that coward in no 10. R.I.P

I'll be watching it tonight as I have nothing else better to do lol

Fair enough

Was going down to the local tip with my father to throw out some old junk from our garage. We stop at the lights and he gets a call off one of his work buddies, lights go green and he doesn't put his phone down but instead he turns a corner whilst on the phone, no hand on the steering wheel and he couldn't shift gear! Because of him we almost ploughed into a stationary car. He was lucky enough to get control at the last minute otherwise he would have been forking out for someone to get their car fixed.

So say I've just got out of the police college/academy after passing all tests or exams. I get sent to one of the busiest stations in the city. My brother, has just made it as a fire fighter and is stationed at the biggest fire house in the city and my sister is a paramedic. Now, as a new cop I am told not to use neither blues nor sirens where my brother and sister can? Where is the logic in that I ask?

I always stop at pedestrian crossings if a young lady with large breasts and a short skirt is waiting to cross.

A friend of mine from Cardiff is always accusing a Swansea friend of ours of being English, as "everyone from Swansea is English." What the heck is that all about? I've never got a straight answer and it seems a bit more than simple winding up. I should give your friend a kick up the ass for saying that lol, the only part of Swansea that is English is the Gower As the majority of English folk are living there than in the actual city itself xD Anyway, congrats Bex best of luck

Some cops like to think they own the road and so feel they don't need to give way to anyone whom are pulling out, indicating or otherwise.

Aye, fair enough ^^

There have been plenty of cases where a speed camera has caught a police car, and the ticket was enforced as the driver had no excuse (not responding to an emergency at the time). Police drivers do also get convicted of other motoring offences (occasionally) True aye. Some might think that just because they are in an emergency response vehicle and actually part of whatever they are so for instance the police, then they are excused for speeding with or without blues and siren on when they aren't on a call.

I'd say they do that all the time no matter where you are but then I'd be wrong. Silent approach means silent approach, no siren...But lights? In any situation I think all emergency services should use the blues whenever they are out on call otherwise it can be hard to tell if they are actually out on call or not or just speeding down a busy/non busy road for the hell of it. It has been said that some do it to do a quick blue dash down to the shops for some fags, crisps or chips etc and it has been said that they no longer do that...Yeah right. Was in Townhill (Swansea) a good while back (Well before x-mas last year) I was approaching a small roundabout. Just before I got to the roundabout I checked my mirrors, saw a police car with blues on emerging from a side road behind me so decided to pull over. He went past, no siren on, when he past ofc first doing both shoulder and mirror checks I move off. The police darts down to the lights by the school there and turns them off... I pull up behind shaking my head. A few thoughts were running through my head at that point, were they really out on call and it got cancelled? Likely, were they doing that for the hell of it? Maybe. I have seen some emergency vehicles turning on the blues just to get through the lights and switch them off again after they've gone through.

Oh right, that's good to know

So if you wear glasses when driving or riding (Like I do) then would you have to take them off to do the test or could you leave them on? Or would you even have to do the test at all if you have got glasses?

Should have gone to Specsavers! Could imagine the police telling people that if they fail the test xD