Gerontious

he’s only had it two minutes and the farkling has begun. If he buys a helmet with a peak I’m going to have to point and laugh.

Scorpion in Derbyshire make one for this specific model https://www.scorpion-exhausts.com/bmw-f800-gt-r-exhaust-systems rrp £329 but often to be found discounted.

Thoughts and prayers.

Reims cathedral campanile gets a lot of positivity from tourers who have stayed in Reims. Secure underground parking (obviously) breakfast is apparently ‘out of this world’ and bear in mind the Crit Aire sticker is a requirement if you are staying in that city.

EU passport. Doesn’t matter which country… though for Brits the easiest is the Irish (if you are eligible) and if you need to use a British number plate. Take a show plate with you.. have one made to order in white and add the EU identifier. Change over the plate before you cross the border out of the EU. This has been pretty much the standard advice for years… more than 20 years for anyone wanting to visit Iran and various other countries like the ‘Stans. Former soviet republics. Aside from Turkmenistan. (Don’t even try) if you can’t do that. Don’t go to Iran as an independent traveller it’s simply not worth the risk. i have zero sympathy. Researching these “risky” countries is quite simple. I guess they either didn’t bother or thought this wouldn’t apply to them. now they are finding out what it is to be a pawn.

Nor can I. I’m just careful about where I park it.

If they don’t know where the bike is then they can’t steal it.

I wouldn’t worry too much then. Best advice I can offer is to have a euro friendly credit card. I have 2. A Halifax Clarity and a Nationwide. Most useful in France if you use an unmanned petrol station. Never use a debit card in one of those. If you don’t already have a euro friendly credit card then get one. And just pay it off before the interest kicks in. Since Covid everyone accepts credit cards. But it’s also useful to have a bit of cash for very small purchases too. ask your mate about tolls. Where you might be using them and so on.

I nearly always stay in Cortina. It’s an ideal base. Last time I went with @smallfrowne and he seemed to enjoy it. We had a day out to Slovenia and went up the Mangart. Really nice though it has to be said that it is by far the most scary road I have ever gone on. but it was so worthwhile. I do like the Grossglockner though.

Stay away from cities in France and there is no need for the Crit Aire. Tolls in France? Just use a credit card. The signs are self explanatory. Be very careful to store the ticket safely. set your sat nav to ‘avoid Tolls’ in Switzerland it’s a bit slower but you’ll see more. And you won’t be forced to buy a pass which costs around £40. watch your speed very carefully in Switzerland as the instant fines are excruciatingly painful. I wouldn’t bother with Liechtenstein at all to be honest. I’ve been there once and wouldn’t recommend it. The motorway pass in Austria is cheap.. but totally unnecessary if you’re just heading for the western end. I’ve never bought one as I’ve never actually needed to use the autobahn in that country. i wouldn’t bother with the Stelvio either. But if you must, then climb it via the Umbrail pass which joins it just below the summit on the south side and then ride down it. It’s a much nicer ride down than up. And don’t even think about riding it at the weekend!! so my main tips are about a proper sat nav. Being extremely careful about speed for the entire time you are in Switzerland and care about timing you ride on the Stelvio. if you were to ask me as a friend where to go? My answer would be… forget most of that and make a beeline for the Dolomites and then wander back over the course of 5 days. My top advice would be to avoid Switzerland completely. Get across France quickly into the Black Forest… then south east towards the Alpine foothills that straddle the German/Austrian Border… and either follow the German Alpine road. Or dip south and over the Timmelsjoch into Italy and then wind your way across and through the Mountains to the Dolomites and as part of your return journey head north and ride the Grossglockner high road. Oh… and if you happen to be anywhere in the Alps on a Sunday. Have the day off from riding. Take it as a rest day. if your plans go pear shaped for whatever reason. You can always come with us to the Eifel in September. And use that week as an easy introduction to touring.

This is just a side effect of hanging round with a gang of hooligans.

out dates are set in stone. So most of the group of 8 will be staying at a Premier Inn on Saturday 6th September and we will be crossing the Sunday morning. Arriving at our base Sunday afternoon. Our return is the following Saturday 13th. Because we all live in England and south of Leeds/Bradford we use the channel tunnel in both directions. Mostly due to habit, though in the early days of these trips it was to make things easier for people very nervous about riding on the right. Though some of the guys have already started to make bookings, there’s really no need to make any kind of commitment until the end of June. we go in September because the kids are back in school. The holiday season is effectively over and once the local excuse for a rush hour is done, the landscape is virtually empty of cars. Weather tends to be good and the days are still relatively long. We tend to be back from our days out at around 6pm in good time to sit for the evening meal at 6.30

if you want an easy alternative ‘introduction’ then 8 of us, probably will be going to the German Eifel region in September. Not long after the August Bank holiday. We stay in a budget hotel reasonably close to the Luxembourg border. And while there have what is effectively a 5 day riding holiday. as you would be using the North Sea ferry, you would need to find your own way to our base. But obviously there are no constraints on what you do. You could arrive a few days earlier if you want and do your own thing. Or arrive the same day we do. And join in as little or as much as you like. At least you you won’t need to worry about camping and will have a friendly group to talk to. Obviously you can also travel light with just clothes for the time. view it as a trial run for something a bit more adventurous in 2026. plans for this year are well under way. But nothing is actually set in stone yet aside from the dates.

The last time something like this happened it was brutal. and happened virtually overnight. it was back in the day when BMW bikes would share space with bikes from other brands. BMW sent all their dealers an ultimatum. either become solus BMW or we take everything back. quite a few decided they wanted to keep on selling other brands and that was it. the Bikes and everything else was removed very quickly. like immediately. within a very short period of time the numbers of dealers went from hundreds to less than 20 in the entire country. with some areas having none. there was later a further reduction and I remember that clearly. it was equally brutal. website is still motorrad. if this story is true then that will change very quickly. in fact I'm surprised given the way BMW operate that its still quite 'normal'.

Never owned one but I did have the misfortune to be given one as a courtesy bike a very long time ago. One of those bikes I was really glad to hand back. Fortunately this was before dealers began charging for courtesy bikes so at least I didn’t have to pay anything. Except a quid (maybe) for the petrol I used. My usual thing with new bikes was to spend the day on them. But not this one. I rode home and then when my bike was ready to collect. Rode it back. It is by far (and based on a very long distance in time and memory) the worst bike I’ve ever ridden. It has kept that dubious distinction to this day. must be 20 years since I last saw one on the road.

clever lawyers. A sob story and a sympathetic magistrate. from the same article:

Maybe ending this kind of nonsense would be a start.

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

Ive forgotten what a full face is like.. it must be well over 15 years since I last owned one and there is zero temptation to get another. I wouldn't mind one thats a higher quality though. but there are so many things on my 'to get' list an expensive helmet is pretty low down on the priority agenda.

My 1000 isn’t going anywhere. Oh wait, yes it is (twice) Frogs and Sausages. Do your wurst!