Long ago Ex dead..Why am I upset?

[asharin]

I just found out today that the first girl I ever fell in love with (or was it lust? 'cos you know, was the first girl I did any naughty rude things with too lol) died yesterday at the age of 36. News is sparse but sounds like she fell, no other info as of yet.

Hadn't really spoken in 20 years but had recently got back in contact via the book of faces, and were both attending the Sheep Dip rally in Dorset later this month, so was hoping to catch up.

That's now never going to happen and I am feeling loss? Why? it's been years, and several relationships later.

Her family must be devastated, she had 2 young sons and her parents too (and an ex husband but I'm sure even he'll be down too)

I guess it's just that you never forget your first maybe?

Such a shame

RIP Rachel

[Smokin Joe]

Eight years after getting divorced I discovered by chance that my ex wife had died the previous year after becoming anorexic to the point her body shut down. She was only 37. It was an awful shock and I was terribly upset for a long while afterwards and still feel sad when I think about it now, sixteen years later. No matter what the time gap, when you learn of the death of someone who was once an intimate part of your life it is never easy.

[littlecat]

those early bonds are very strong...my once teenage boyfriend is now, 30 odd years later , my closest friend, and it would devastate me to lose him.....its the loss of a person who meant something to you, and as such must be very hard..((hugs))

[Richard]

I also think that it reflects on your own mortality, when someone who has been so close dies it reflects in more than one way. You have the distance to think about the impact to their now loved ones but you also reflect on a personal basis, its almost a more reflective type of loss than the highly emotional grief of very close family. I still think about a friend nearly every day after three years, its very odd the that the person was not as close as family yet the impact of his death I still reflect on.

I hope the memories are good and make you smile!

Richard

[cyberwolf]

my friend/girlfrend iv know from about 3yr old and started dating each other at 13 i then move from preston at 15, i found out at 20 she had been run over and killed at 18 i was upset about it, i don't even know where she was bury as her family move away as it was the road outside her house she was killed on so can't even go ask them.

[Fozzie]

It is normal however some are different.

A friend, as I found out lately died, even though I hadnt spoken to him in years I felt loss. We got on and went out with the same group of mates.

But with girls its different, I know a few past sweet hearts I would feel pain if I lost them.

My first love however walks around in Warrington somewhere, and if she died I would neither celebrate or feel care. I'd be indifferent.

Likewise one or two others who after it went sour re-wrote the history of the relationship, labelled me a cheater/etc etc to protect their image I would be totally indifferent to. And I hope them to me as they'd sure as hell not be invited to my funeral