puggybear
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Everything posted by puggybear
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I actually have NO idea how old this computer is-but it has Mullions XP installed on ye harde drive...
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Ok,you genuises of TMF,a question for yerz; When the Pope buys stuff from ebay....does he use his papal account?
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I was asked "Puggy,have you ever eaten magic mushrooms?" I thought for a moment... "No-but I once sucked a radish that could do card tricks!"
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My mate Geoff is an architect and an active member of his local am-dram group. He really knows how to make an entrance!
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When our plane landed at Paris,I was behind Angela Merkel when the customs officer asked "Occupation?" "No. Just on holiday,this time".
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[this is a real-life sob story. Have your handkerchief ready] Life was tough after my father walked out. Mum couldn't afford furniture,so I had to think on my feet..........
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My worst subject at school by FAR,was fractions. I had no bloody idea what our maths teacher was talking about,half the time. .....well,I say '1/2' the time.....
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I just found a huge ball of plasticine. I'm not sure what to make of it.......
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A bloke came to my door to tell me he'd just hit my cat "Oh,shit-is he ok?" "I shouldn't think so mate-his head broke my snooker cue!"
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Thanks Grumps. This joke-telling lark is like the Fibonacci Sequence;it's as easy as 1,1,2,3! [ok,ok,I know. coat,door....]
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I'm single because I'm useless at chatting up women. Viccy,my female biker mate,said she'd listen to my lines,then give her opinion. That seemed fair enough,so I thought for a moment,then said "On your marks,get set....GO!" "WTF's THAT?" she asked,looking somewhat astonished. "Well.....it's a start"......
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I took my mate out sea-fishing. he puked all day. As we got back into the bay,he recovered slightly. "Oh,finally found some sea legs,eh?" I asked. But he wasn't a happy bunny;as he stood swaying,he mumbled "Don't be a prat-even I know seals don't lay eggs!"
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I'm starting my own company,recycling chewing gum. I just need a little assistance to help get it off the ground........
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I just bought a vynl album of 'Dr Hook & The Medicine Show' [before they abbreviated it] for 50p from the BHF charity shop. I've been listening and playing muh ole gee-tah to it all evening. I'd forgotten just how good they were.
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And THIS,is the Earth's most evil cat! [named Bazinga-don't ask!] http://i47.tinypic.com/2uqf1w5.jpg
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This is 'Mooch-the-Pooch'. He's an absolute MARTYR to stress! http://i49.tinypic.com/34qtzsi.jpg
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See,joe-you just gave me an idea. Buy a few bits in posh M&S,when they ask if you want a bag,you say 'Yes'...& put it inside a Lidl's one!
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Ah,you made a mistake-you didn't explain that you haven't yet been paid for all the advertising you do for them when carrying their bags in public! Ergo-the bags should be A/free and B/give you a zillion nectar points for your superb ad work. [After all,no supermarket gives/sells you unmarked bags] 'Course,if they get snotty,just insist they turn the bags inside-out until you're paid! Wurfa try,even if just for the Youtube value...[but don't expect to win].
