Zod

The other day I was chatting with a pal of mine who brought up the beer topic. Now this friend is Irish...About half way through our little conversation he mentioned that he thinks the Welsh are zombies. I asked him why? He said, instead of drinking BEER they drink BRAINS! A 12 year old kid plays COD. He is very annoyed at the fact that he gets killed every five seconds due to what he claims is someone camping at his spawn. He begins to cry, he begins to scream and he begins to smash up his controller until eventually he finally manages to kill someone...With a grenade that also killed himself. To that he plugged in his microphone and started screaming through it at the other players. A server admin enters the server to hear a displeased visitor screaming at other visitors because he's fed up of dying... The server admin kindly tells the kid to shut the hell up and play or be muted. The kid continues. He says something funny which makes the server admin laugh... Kid - If I were ever in the army I would kill every one of you with one bullet! To that the server admin laughs even harder at this kids idiocy. Eventually every player in the server including those on his own team crowd around and start owning him. The kid screams some more.... A member of his family enters his room and records a video...Enjoy! ">

And for the record you don't need 3 bikes as you only need one. You have the option of either using one of the school's bikes for the test/CBT or your own, and apparently for the A2 test now you can do it on a bike with a max of 92 BHP? I'm sure I read that posted in another topic on here before (If I remember it right I also quoted it...Will look for it now). Edit - Found it

Well having two textile jackets I can tell you that one main thing I like them both is that they were worth buying, though one was say £20-£30 cheaper than the other. The first jacket I bought I had it to go with my old Suzuki Burgman, at first I thought it was cool and I wore it constantly including around the house. Done that because I was too lazy to take it off and stick it back on again if I was ever going back out on the bike which was pretty much all the time. The good points - [*]Waterproof/windproof[*] [*]Two zipped pockets [*]Mobile phone pocket The bad points - Though it said on the label that it was 100% waterproof it actually wasn't so at times when it rained heavy then whatever I was wearing under it got soaked. There was only two pockets, I'd rather have about 4 pockets on the jacket. One for spare change, one for paper notes, one for my wallet and one to stick my keys in The jacket I bought just after christmas is a bit better, is actually 100% waterproof though sometimes the insides can get a tiny bit damp though it's nothing I can complain about. The inner lining is better than the one on my old jacket, the new jacket has got better padding than the old as it also has pads on the back and some on the front. Good points - [*]Has yellow/illuminous patch across the shoulders [*]Has a high vis stripe across the shoulders [*]100% water and wind proof [*]Only cost me £20 or £30 cheaper than the old one I bought Bad points - [*]Again only two pockets [*]No mobile phone pocket Think that just about sums it all up

His mistress Damn you! A Hell of a Day I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs MY drink and just gulps it all down, in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" He says menacingly, as I burst into tears. "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me.. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. "I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve… and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But enough about me, how are you doing?"

A biker falls in love with his Harley. The biker rides his Harley more than he does his wife, the biker treats his Harley with better care and attention than he does his wife. Who or what is the bikers Harley? I can probably bet neither of you can get this and I also bet that most of you will say that his Harley is his bike too xD

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his ha nds on a rag and said, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic................................ "Try doing it with the engine running." A biker cop pulls over another biker one night a week before Christmas. Cop - Hello sir, could you please come around this side of your bike please? Don't want you to get run over now. Right, do you know why I have stopped you? Biker - Yes. Cop - Why? Biker - Because I don't have a license. Cop - Okay... Biker - And this bike isn't mine... Cop - Oh really? Biker - No, it's stolen. Cop - Okay so do you have any proof of identity on you or have you got your insurance documents with you? Biker - Sorry mate but didn't you see me throwing my wallet at you a mile up the road? My identity is in that though I haven't got any insurance, because this bike is stolen. Cop - Okay, so where were you going tonight and do you mind telling me what is in both the bag and your panniers? Biker - There is a gun in my bag. It's a small shot gun...I'm just on my way to nail my wife up against the front door and shoot her in the gut at close range. In the panniers there are over a million pounds worth of drugs. Cop - Okay sir, what type of drugs? Biker - Cannabis... After this small chat the cop walks back up to his bike and radio's it in, soon after his supervisor who is a sergeant pulls up in his Mitsubushi EVO X. Sergeant - Okay sir, do you know why you were stopped? Biker - No. Sergeant - Do you have your license on you? Biker - Yes. (Hands him his license) Sergeant - Does this bike belong to you sir? Biker Yes. (Hands him the insurance documents) Sergeant - Okay can you open up your bag, and panniers sir? Biker - Sure, but I am telling you now that there is no gun in my bag and there are no drugs in the panniers. Sergeant - This doesn't make sense. My colleague here has informed me that you do not have a full license, you do not have proof of identity, this is not your bike that it is stolen and that you have a gun in the bag as well as drugs in your panniers. Biker - I know, I'll bet he told you I was speeding too.

So now you have no excuses for not answering the phone!

Judging by the other bizarre resonses, I'll bet that by 'put it down' he means he told the dog it was sh*t. The dog shoulda put Zod down really

Same thing!

And failing to mention these made your post make no sense! I shouldn't need to lol, and in case you haven't noticed already...Neither of my posts make sense!

So your grandfather's a fox and you "put down" a dog on your motorbike that would have caused you to have a massive accident? 1) I was on about my grandfather's surname. 2) I had stopped to answer my phone before the dog came around ^^

A pigeon decided to fly straight into my face once...Luckily I had the lid down. Was on the quad one night whilst on holiday in Ireland, was finishing up at the farm and then started heading back to the house. Near enough to the house I somehow goes over a bump...Odd I thought the land is flat, so I turned around and noticed I had run over a fox. My grandfather wasn't so pleased...He's a fox himself. Was on my way back from Pembroke one night after being with Selene for most of the day and instead of going on the duel carriage I decided to take the back roads home. I got near to Camarthen when a stray dog jumps at me from out of nowhere and tries it's luck...It was either me or the dog so I put it down...

The time it takes usually depends on how many there are doing the CBT on the day plus how long it takes you to pick it up, some are confident enough and just get straight into it and do good while others maybe a bit slow at it. When you go for the CBT you'll have a little introduction and a talk with/from the instructor who will tell you what is what, what you need to do, what you need to look out for, what you'll be doing on the day and so on...That sometimes takes about an hour max. Then your on the bike doing the first part of the CBT, remember to bring both parts of your provisional with you

I recommend a good solid thick chain and lock. Check this one out: http://www.sportsbikeshop.co.uk/motorcy ... prod/74216

This isn't a joke as such though it's bound to make someone laugh

Aye. Must admit I hadn't come up with this joke, a mate of my brothers did. All I done was pass it on ^^

The laws have changed since January you know that right? So they haven't been altered since. http://www.90-one.com/testchange.html Check that site out and it will tell you everything you need to know.

Two Asians in a Chineese bar on a Friday night. An Asian male turns to an Asian female and asks "Do you go for Asians?" the female ignores and continues drinking and the male asks again "Do you go for Asians?" again the female ignores him and continues drinking so then the male shouts "DO YOU GO FOR f**king AISIANS?!!!" to where the female turns to him and calmly replies "No. I go for North Koreans instead".

Firstly welcome to the forum. Secondly the CBT can cover anything up to 125 so, yes.

Dude xD

Old farmer Ted is known around his local village for his somewhat funny but strange and random jokes. One night he clocks off work early and heads for his local pub, walking through the door he's greeted by everyone who knew him or at least all but one which he doesn't know. A non regular, a new face around the village by the name of Dick. So Ted struts up to the bar and asks the barman (Declan) for a pint of guinness. He turns to Dick and asks him if he can sit next to him while he downs his pint before he's off on his way, of course not! Dick replied and Ted sits down. An hour or two later both Ted and Dick are but a few left in the pub and Ted decides it's time for a joke telling... Ted - Say what's ya name fella? Dick - Dick is ainm dom (Is my name / Irish) Ted - Well Dick...Y'ano...Me wife sadly passed away today. Stage two cancer...The woman was a right beauty...She was a right...What I don't get see. Is how she does de good deeds and goes to church every Sunday only for the good lord to pull the fecking plug on her! Five minutes later Dick responds... Dick - Well Ted. She sounds like a fine lass. I'm sorry for ye loss mate. Ted replies...Aye, as am I. I was never fecking married in the first place!

Yeah....hot wire it.....or take it down your local Chav centre and leave it for them to do it for you..... Aye. As EAB has already noted, that's what happened before and now it wont start Also I have checked the earthing and the earthing's fine so will try bypassing the ign circuit now tomorrow and see if that helps ^^

I've thought that. If they were to ride around on the bike then they wouldn't need to reset the valve timings nor would they need to remove the spark plug either...I don't know how it could be running fine one minute before the bike was nicked and not run when I get it back, the thieves were of course riding around on it which is obvious enough. The only thing they had done though was swap the battery over for a dead one and take out the spark plug, now I've spoken with the head mechanic down at M&P's in Swansea who says that he can't think of any reason why they would've removed the spark plug in the first place even if they had another bike of the same make and model. I have checked the tip sensor on it also and it's not that. I have disconnected the cut off switch at the side stand and completed the circuit without the cut off switch connected, and still it will not start. I have tried everything I can think of to try and get it going and yet still I get no result, all it does is keep giving me a fault code which is always the same one. 19 Which basically tells me that there is a fault somewhere between the ign switch and the ECU along the black & white wire, which is incorrect because I've tested it and checked it and there is nothing wrong with it. Apparently there is another ECU in the alternator. I haven't yet had a look at that though I might do now over the weekend.

Yes had checked all of them already and still wouldn't start. Had cleaned all connections and re-connected them and yet still no start, had figured out the other day why the thieves had removed the spark plug and it's because they were trying to set the valve timing and had stuck a screw driver down into the plug hole, so I've not yet attempted to fix the vale timing's so will wait now until the weekend and do them along with the ignition timings.

Yesterday my father and I were trying to narrow it down a bit further by testing the fuse box, battery and other wires and connections first with the block tester. Now this block tester we had was nothing more than a light builb attacthed to some wires and strapped onto a door wedge, so whenever we connected the wires up to anything we had light and when it didn't work then we had no light at all. We both concluded that there is some bad earthing. We then tested everything over once more with the multi meter from battery to ECU. This time we had got a reading from the black and white wire coming off the ign switch and to the ECU, now this baffeled us because we hadn't got that reading before when we tried it. So we now know it isn't coming from the ign switch (but may be faulty either way) and we also tested the relay, the black and white wire going into the rely as well as the blue wire were faulty as there wasn't any reading. I tried starting the bike...The bike actually tried to start! Progress? No, it jumped forward a touch and decided to be a pain in the ass and not do it again. It had done this Saturday morning too, I'm not sure what gear the bike was in though as for some reason it isn't shifting back into neutral when I'm shifting the gears. The new ECU will be arriving tomorrow, if it still doesn't work then I'm off up to Cardiff to some scrap site to speak to a man about either buying a fully working YBR for £600 or to buy the other one which he's stripping down for parts, for £50.