MarkW

Whenever I see this sort of thing, with its obligatory illiteracy, I can't help feeling that anyone who has reached voting age and is still mystified by the rudiments of their native language shouldn't be allowed to vote at all.

Sorry, but as far as my industry is concerned that's exactly what it would be: until the day we neither import nor export food with Europe we will have to deal with EU plant protection product legislation whether we like it or not, and the only way we have been able to make that work so far is by being an equal partner at the table, and being vocal. If we leave the EU we still have to deal with the same problems under the same legislation, but we will have lost all our influence. Again, talking specifically about my industry, the idea that things will be fine if we leave, or that we will negotiate something better, is utter claptrap. Most EU Member States are sick to death of the British as it is. This was the gist of a conversation with my European colleagues at a meeting in Germany yesterday: "Every country in Europe has its issues with the way parts of it are run, but the British seem to think they are special: that their borders and their sovereignty are somehow more important than anybody elses. It would be a shame if they left Europe, but in the long run it won't make much difference to us, so if that's what they want then they should piss off."

I had completely the opposite problem with female attention shortly after I bought my ZZR600 (22,000 miles, black, lovely condition). Hoards of large-breasted women would literally rip their clothes off and hurl themselves at me as I was riding along (12 months MOT, very good tyres). In the end my wife got so jealous she made me put it up for sale (£2,500 but will take offers) since when all the attention has stopped. I just wish I could help you out...

Thanks guys! Mr B, that sounds ideal. Can you divulge the location or shall I PM you?

My business works with a piece of European legislation to which all 28 Member States are legally bound. Getting some countries to do what they are supposed to do - even when their obligations are set in stone - is a full time job, and the only reason we can force them to play ball is by virtue of our membership of the club. In my industry the notion that we could leave and then negotiate something better - or even equivalent - is straight out of cuckoo land. Nothing would please the German, French, Italian and Spanish regulatory authorities more than us slinging our hook, because then they'd have no legal obligation to listen to a damn thing we said. And ultimately the people who loose will be us. There are many things I dislike about Europe, but where food security is concerned we have to deal with them whether we're in or out: leaving would be nothing more than self castration.

Yup. I love riding on the continent, and arriving back in the UK is always a massive ball-ache: noddy motorway speed limit, cameras on every other bloody gantry, 50 mph average speed checks for mile after interminable sodding mile of roadworks where I have yet to see a stroke of work actually being done, night closures implemented with no concept of joined-up thinking (closing parts of the northbound M11, M1, A1 and westbound A14 all at the same time one night last year made getting from Folkestone to Harrogate a particularly tedious experience) and the worst road surfaces I've experienced outside of Kenya: some cats-eyes had been removed from a section of motorway I was on a couple weeks ago, and the gouges in the tarmac gave the distinct impression they'd been dug out with a JCB! And then there's the standard of the average British motorist to factor in to the equation, which in my experience is considerably lower than the rest of Europe, especially where bike awareness in slow moving traffic is concerned!

So, clearly what is needed is a list of EU Regulations and Decisions (not Directives, Recommendations or Opinions, as these are not legally binding) that satisfy all three following criteria: 1. Have some tangible, quantifiable negative impact on us. 2. Were so unpopular with the UK government when adopted that they would be repealed if we left Europe. 3. Would not still apply when trading with Europe after our exit. Who wants to get the ball rolling?

Evening all! I'll be driving up from Folkestone one day next week on my way back from Germany, and fancy spending the day in London. Is there a tube station with decent car parking somewhere outside the congestion charge zone to the south or south east? Cheers!

Silver top box for Honda ST1300. Back and arm rests with integrated spoiler and LED stop light. Includes Honda wiring harness, base plate, all fastenings and keys. Spotless as-new condition. Photos here: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/8lr39ges92d0rt0/AAC-zw43lT82jx3zbCNZLVala?dl=0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; The box and with the illuminated spoiler is around £725 new, and this is in mint condition. Any sensible offer considered!

You could try becoming a rock star like me, and then you'll be fighting them off with a stick. I did a gig on Friday night and had three people come up to me afterwards and try to get cosy. One told me how much he'd enjoyed our rendition of 'A Little Respect' and then commented on what big hands I have (hmm...). The other two were female. One looked like she'd eaten Mama Cass and had breath that would stun a camel, and the other was in her late sixties and told me that despite being a wheelchair user most of the time she'd still managed to get up for a bit of a dance during our second set. Yup, these are the rewards of being the bass player

Ha ha! Spot on! Among my 'friends' the two most vocal Corbyn supporters are equally daft, but for different reasons. One spent her whole life being told (and believing) that she was a child prodigy destined for great things at Cambridge, who ended up getting a lower second at an upgraded poly. She worked briefly as a librarian at a local school, but left because it was 'too stressful' and hasn't done a days work since. She is rabid Labour supporter who idolised Tony Benn, is a militant vegetarian, and refers to her rabbits as her children. Her FB profile picture is of her with her arms around a tree, wearing an expression of idiotic bliss mixed with insufferable smugness. The other is a feckless bloke who is such an abysmal judge of character that the county is littered with children from his numerous failed relationships. His current girlfriend looked like a particularly dubious choice to the rest of us, and sure enough within a few weeks she was packed off to Durham nick for 18 months on a kidnapping and extortion charge. Having served her time she was released and immediately deported, and rather than reflect on what a lucky escape he'd had he has jumped on a plane to be with her. Naive, gullible and credulous to the last - all essential characteristics for Corbyn supporters.

What made me despair was the number of my friends who thought Corbyn was the saviour of the Labour party, and the brutal realisation that you've badly misjudged them. It's like discovering that they put sugar in their tea or don't hold their knife properly - you know you'll never be able to look at them the same way again.

Insofar as I have any political leanings I guess I'm slightly left of centre, but I'm with Martin Amis when it comes to Jeremy Corbyn: the man is simply far too stupid and slow-witted to be the Prime Minister. Two E grades at A level and an aborted attempt at a degree in trade union studies at North London Poly are not really the stuff British PMs should be made of, and whilst some people with similarly poor academic records have gone on to excel - Richard Branson being a good example - they have had some spark of drive, ambition or aptitude that Corbyn simply doesn't possess, as evidenced by his subsequent 30 years of low-level socialist buffoonery. He embodies the political sophistication of a 1970s student common room, and with a leadership that is remarkable only insofar as all his enemies are in his own party his support seems to come primarily from people who don't remember this claptrap the last time round, or who think merely not being a Tory is sufficient qualification for the job.

A very good point. I gave a corporate presentation to a conference in California a few weeks ago saying that instead of the one-size-fits-all approach taken by our competitors, our lab treats every test item as unique and designs the studies accordingly. Loads of delegates came up to me afterwards and said "Great presentation, but what the hell does 'bespoke' mean?"

I was talking to one of my friends about the in/out debate last night, and one of the arguments she raised for leaving was a perfect illustration of a fundamental misunderstanding of the distinction between Directives and Regulations, and who is actually to blame for much of what gets reported as 'EU meddling'. About three or four years ago people here in Harrogate were up in arms because 'new EU drinking water rules' declared the water at the Victorian pump room far too sulphurous for visitors to drink, and the taps were turned off. There was an immediate torrent of vitriolic anti-EU sentiment in the press, most of it along the lines of us needing to get out of this farcical relationship as soon as possible and start making our own rules. Setting aside the fact that this decision only affected people who thought the sensible thing to do with water so sulphurous it made your eyes sting was see what it tasted like, it had nothing whatsoever to do with Brussels: the EU Water Quality Directive is just that - a Directive. That means it has to be transposed into law at Member State level, with every EU country having a good deal of flexibility in terms of how they interpret and enable it (as distinct from a Regulation, which passes directly into law in all Member States with no wiggle room whatsoever). The Water Quality Directive had been in force in Europe for 14 years by this point so was hardly 'new', and it was an idiotic interpretation of part of it by our own politicians that led to the taps being turned off in Harrogate. The decision was reversed less than a month later, after Brussels told the UK that their decision was a complete misinterpretation of the Directive and just made everyone look very silly. This story got rather less coverage in the press. And this is the problem: almost every regulatory argument I have seen for leaving the EU actually has more to do with the stupidity and incompetence of our own politicians and civil servants than it does with Brussels, and yet the 'out' camp seem convinced that we'd be better off with them in charge. Worrying.

OK folks, up for sale is my '56 plate ZZR600. It had obviously been very well cared for when I got it two years ago, since when it has only been used in the dry and has been kept garaged. Just been MOT'd last week and sailed through with no work required. Other info as follows: - Black. - Registered 26 November 2006. - 21,911 miles. - Crash bungs, and consequently fairings all in very good condition. - Slight scuff to off-side mirror which might polish out (haven't tried). - Slight corrosion to front forks (full extent can be seen clearly by zooming in on the hi-res photos). - Very good tyres and brakes. - No faults, niggles or other quirks - just a good, solid, reliable bike. Any inspection welcome. - 12 months MOT. - Complete with all the usual paperwork plus owners manual, service history, receipts etc. I've uploaded a few photos here: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/0i6q1qj1327a061/AABM-TOVp2pD7GKk1g8-jXkja?dl=0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; I upgraded to a ZZR1200 not long after buying the 600 due to the number of motorway miles I do (usually across Europe) and every time I ride this I find myself trying to justify keeping it - it's a cracking bike, and great fun. But with my sensible head on (as Worzel Gummidge might have said) I can't justify keeping both, so off it must go. I'm asking £2,500 which seems about right given the age, mileage and condition of similar bikes, but if you think I'm way out just say. If you want more images of anything specific, have any questions or want to take it for a spin, just drop me a line. Thanks! Mark

My trusty old ZZR1200.

Kids are ace! There's never a dull moment with my two boys, although most of the 'issues' have been with my eldest: at nursery he raised a few eyebrows when he told them his favourite film was Dirty Harry (he'd seen the DVD box on the shelf, but not watched it), and after watching Star Wars for the first time he chose the middle of Asda one Saturday morning to point at me and shout 'NO! YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!" Let's just say a lot of well-meaning customers suddenly took a great deal of interest in what I was doing with him. Then a few weeks ago there was this little exchange when his teacher asked if she could have a word as he was coming out of school: Are you Jamie's father? Could I have a quick word please? - Certainly. What's it about? Well, I've had to tell him off today about his language. - Oh. I'm surprised about that - what did he say? I'd rather not repeat it. - Well he's only seven so it can't have been that bad. What was it? No, I'm not going to repeat it. - Oh come on for heaven's sake, we're both adults: what did he say? No, it was too rude. You'll have to ask Jamie when you discipline him. - I haven't got the slightest intention of disciplining him on the strength of half a story from someone who isn't prepared to tell me what he said. Now, either tell me what it was, or we're done. Well... it was... Um.. It was... 'Penis'. - 'Penis'. I see. And what's wrong with that? It's vulgar! - No it isn't. It's the correct term for part of his anatomy, and as long as he wasn't waving it around as he said it I don't see the problem. Well I don't want to hear him say it again. - (starting to get rather irritated at this point): Well that's just tough, I'm afraid. I'm not prepared to tell him off for using the correct adult word for something instead of one of the pathetic catalogue of bloody juvenile words that people seem to think are somehow more acceptable. It's a penis - get over it. But he was having an argument with one of the other children and called him a 'bloody penis face'! - Err... Oh... Yes, I um... I see your, um... OK - I'll have a word with him...

The OUT camp don't want us to be dictated to by Brussels; the IN camp don't want us to lose our international influence. There is a solution that should keep both sides happy: we must invade mainland Europe and bring them all under the imperialist yoke. Who's with me?

Having previously complained about the fact that most of the posts I read on Facebook from 'Out' supporters have been written by people who have yet to grasp the basics of their native tongue, I had to chuckle in the playground this morning when one of my Czech friends, who is about to take his British citizenship test, took his son's teacher to one side and said "I'm afraid there are a number of spelling mistakes in the homework you've set this week." And he was right.

Ha! Not an option in this case - his wife sent him a text message a couple of weeks ago that said "The potatoes you bought can't be microwaved. What do I do with them?"

My brother had his first baby on Friday, and he sent me a message yesterday saying how tiring his first full day of fatherhood had been. He hasn't even brought him home from hospital yet! I think someone is in for a VERY big shock...

I've just had my wife dig out our last invoice from our accountant. They audit and file our accounts with Companies House, handle our VAT returns and corporation tax, manage our EC sales list, run the payroll and act as our registered office, all for £1,500 a year. When I was running my consultancy as a sole trader I used to submit my own tax returns, and not having the time or the inclination to go into the nitty gritty of what I could and couldn't claim for I just declared everything on the basis that I'd sleep more soundly knowing that if anything, the tax man owes me money rather then the other way round! When we became a LTD company and appointed our accountant the first thing they did was go through all my previous returns, and reclaim £3,500 of overpaid tax. Our accountants are worth their weight in gold in my opinion, and free us up to concentrate on running our business.

This. As an LTD the legal separation of you and the business means your liabilities in the event of a major cock-up are limited. Setting up as a LTD brings a bit more admin bollox (you have to have properly audited accounts, which any accountant can sort for you) but in my opinion it's the only way to go. When I became self-employed I started as a sole trader, then became an LTD when we moved into contract research. We now conduct safety testing on biopesticides in support of global registrations, so if we cocked up the consequences could be horrific. Good luck, and enjoy it! You're unlikely ever to want to go back to working for someone else!

It's Kriega - great kit and totally waterproof. You buy a tank adapter that goes around the steering yoke and clips under the front of the seat, and then add the 5, 10, 20 or 30 litre bag. Can't recommend it highly enough!