XmisterIS

Funny - there's a thread just below this one on a very similar subject! Anyway, I have just adjusted my clutch (because of sticking gear shift when in neutral) and that seems to have improved the problem a lot (although it still sticks on occasion). I simply tightened the cable by one turn of the adjuster at the handlebar (didn't bother with the adjuster at the sprocket end because haynes says you don't need to unless you've run out of thread at the handlebar). Anyway - how sensitive are these things to adjustment? How many turns can you get away with before the plates are no longer making complete contact with the clutch fully out?

I wish they sold these in halfords! All you can get in Halfords are absolute shite connectors.

Looks good, what are they called?

I have an intermittent horn problem (sometimes it works, sometimes not) and I'll bet it is a faulty connection somewhere in one of the crimp connectors that I used to build the relay circuit. I hate barrel crimp connectors - especially the straight-through ones (that look like a tube) - sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you crimp the damn things, even with the correct crimp tool and the correct size of connector for the wire you're using, sometimes the wire just falls straight out. What alternatives are there? Apart from (a) chock blocks - you can't always get chock blocks into small spaces and (b) soldering - soldering is a pain the arse!

You need to wire up a 12v relay to the battery and stick a nautilus-type horn on it. They will notice it then! The stock horn on the SV can hardly even be heard in a car with the windows rolled up, but the horn I now have rigged up actually makes car drivers jump. No excuse for SMIDSY now.

Plenty of suggestions to try here! I wonder though, why would it be sticky only coming out of first and only when the bike is stationary. All the gear changes are smooth as soon as the bike is moving.

Thanks both. I will do an oil change and see if that fixes it. I know the drive chain tension is fine because it is adjusted to within the spec given in the haynes manual.

I would hope it's not plates because it's only an '07 plate, with about 25K on the clock now. If it is plates, is that an easy(ish!) job?

Come to think of it, only when warm. Sometimes it pops up into neutral with no probs, other times it sticks like a good 'un. It's only been doing it since I changed the oil.

I recently changed the oil and put in halford's cheap 'n' cheerful 10W/40 part synthetic bog standard motor oil. Since then, I've found that shifting from first to neutral when stopped at traffic lights is very difficult - the gear lever sticks fast and often I have to exert so much force that it pops up into second, then I have to kick it back down into neutral. I know that the engine oil also lubes the clutch plates; do you think Halford's cheap 'n' cheerful oil might be the reason?

It depends how it's done! You can react in one of two ways: (1) Scream and shout and call them all the motherfuckers under the sun and then they will feel justified in their belligerent denial of responsibility. (2) Be as polite as you can to them. They still won't acknowledge fault, but I bet it pricks their conscience later! Most people feel cringeingly guilty a few minutes after they've verbally abused someone who has been completely calm and polite to them.

Lol! How did the merc driver react? Genuinely sheepish, or "I drive an expensive car, screw you, pleb"?

The f*ckface in the Jag coming out of Southampton who floored it to stop me from nipping in front of him as two lanes merged into one at the roadworks by M27J5. There was a big enough gap, so I gave it a squirt on the throttle and overtook him anyway. This made him as mad as f**k, complete with gesticulations, beeping, flashing of headlights. I could see a nice little escape route ahead as the lanes opened up again, so I stood up on the footpegs and slapped my arse at him . Well, this made him go completely super-nova. Ballistic. Frothing at the mouth. It ended up with him actually hanging out of the driver's window, screaming abuse at me, by which time I was about 6 cars ahead of him and people on the opposite carriageway were looking at him with a "WTF is wrong with you? Are you mental?" expression! Made me laugh, anyway.

NOTD: Stupid old f**king codger who absolutely WOULD NOT let me filter in front of him in rush-hour traffic, even though we were in stop-start traffic and he was going nowhere ...

NOTD was the complete f**kwit bast*rd who, even though the dead straight road was completely empty in both directions, with excellent visibility for about a mile ahead, nevertheless decided to drive past me (on my bicycle) with about 1 inch to spare, at well over the speed limit (probably 60 or 70 I reckon), in a 40 zone.

I well remember the days of ragging the crap out of my old 125 just to get it to go slightly faster than a lorry! What you need, my friend, is a bigger bike.

I think the best Monty Python sketch ever was the Mr Creosote scene from the Meaning of Life. To this day, our household still uses phrases such as "It is only waffur theen", "F*ck off I'm full" and "I want all of it. All mixed up in a bucket" (not a quote so much as a paraphrase). In a facetious moment, I once tried the last one on a waitress in a restaurant. Being far too young to know what I was talking about, she just blinked at me and looked a little unsettled!

That is a word without vowels!! (I know it isn't really) Not quite ... Igitur = "that" or "this" (or a number of other things). qui = "who, that, what or which". In this case "which". desiderat = Third person singular present tense of verb "desiderare" = "to desire" pacem = Accusative case of 3rd declension noun "pax" = "peace". praeparet = Third person singular present tense of verb "praeparare" = "to prepare". bellum = Nominative, Accusative or Vocative case or 2nd declension neuter noun "bellum" = "war". Here, accusative (I think - makes the most sense). (I'll get me coat ...)

There are some round here who do that because they think the speed limit doesn't apply to them, especially on the approach to the motorway. On one occasion, I rode down the sliproad verrrry sloooooowly (with them going completely mental behind me, naturally) - and then pinned the throttle at the last minute. Bike can get up to 70mph with only a little bit of sliproad remaining ... 15-year-old 1 litre fiesta, not so much.

Ah! Yes. The good old "swan neck" manoeuvre - commonly used by people who believe that their car really is the size of an HGV and can't possibly turn directly left without going AAAALLLLLL the way out to the right.

NOTD goes to the f**kwit bodger who did a load of DIY in the house we just bought. Let me give you a little tour ... In the lounge, we have: 1) Floorboards that have been lifted so that the f**kwit could lay an absolutely spaghetti junction of telephone wires to a veritable plethora of telephone sockets all over the house. What the f**k is wrong with keeping it simple? Just have a single phone socket with a master phone plugged into that, then have wireless satellites everywhere. That's what we've done and it works perfectly. 2) When lifting the floorboards, the idiot didn't cut them on the joist. Oh no. He cut them beside the joist, then hung them on nails walloped into the side of the joist. 3) When putting the floorboards back, he did so with ring shank nails. The kind that you use for roofing, timber construction, etc. All well and good if you never ever want the nail to come out. I.e. on a roof. Or when constructing a timber frame. But not for putting down floorboards, which you might actually need to lift again one day. Cue a trip to Wickes to get four replacement floorboards. 4) In the hallway, we have two cross-connected lighting circuits, effectively resulting in a closed ring from a pair of radial circuits. 5) In the kitchen, we have a light switch which trips the main breaker if you switch it on. We have taped it over for now. 6) In the loft, we have a length of 1.5mm2 cable pulled from the lighting ring, wired into a chock block, without an earth, and then wired into a 4-gang extension lead. It is therefore possible to plug four unearthed 13A loads into an 5A circuit. Which is cross-connected to another 5A circuit. Now, I'm certainly not a qualified electrician, but I know that is just incredibly wrong.

N.O.T.D goes to the driver of the "hot hatch" who was clearly too important and special to wait in slow-moving Christmas shopping traffic going into Southampton - decided to suddenly swerve into the bus lane on the left of the traffic, nearly causing a fully-loaded bus to jack-knife, then floored it to the front of the queue, then cut diagonally in front of a car, nearly causing another accident, then jumped the red light, then drove at speed down the outside of the queue, into oncoming traffic, causing an oncoming moped rider to take evasive action, then jumped another red light, nearly having several accidents in the cross-flowing traffic, then disappeared off up another bus lane. The question is, do buses have cameras on them? I bloody hope so, because the driver of that car deserves to lose his licence.

Chicken and egg, my friend, chicken and egg. You need a bike to get past the traffic jam, but you need your mod 1 to get a bike. Chicken and egg. On the plus side though, a bit more practice before your re-booked mod1! My test was cancelled (there was none of this mod1/mod2 malarkey, it was just "the test") because of snow. In that instance, they gave me a free re-test because they cancelled on me. Do you get a free re-test? I hope so.

The drivers I am particularly fond of are the ones who see me screamin' up the outside lane ... and then swerve out in front of me at the last minute and floor the gas, just to save themselves from having to dab the brake, then overtake the slow-moving vehicle in front of them.

Out of interest, do you have the stock horn fitted to your bike, or have you beefed it up? Very often, the stock horn is so feeble that with all the road noise, drivers can barely hear it. I fitted a relay and a much louder horn. Now drivers can DEFINITELY hear it (makes them jump out of their skins! )