XmisterIS

Lol! Is that the same as Small Man Syndrome? I think some people see a Ford Ka and expect it to be driven by an old lady in a crocheted hat. They're quite surprised when it turns out to be a 6' biker instead! I think I will have to do this, but I don't like it ... it's not neat or proper ... can you tell I have OCD?! (I do actually, a little bit)

Isn't there still an option when you relist to say, "the NOTD refused to buy it so I'm relisting". There always used to be that option, and it got you a free relisting. I did that once, years ago, with a washing machine because the buy it now bidder suddenly decided he didn't want it anymore!

I'm going to change the horn on my Ford Ka - upgrade from the standard one to a louder one with a relay (just for the fun of it, really! - and to make damn sure the bast*rds have heard me when they cut me up because "Oh, it's only a little car") Anyway, I can't for the life of me find the horn connector on google (see pics in the links below) - I've tried searching for all the numbers I can see, but I can't find it. Is this a standard connector, or some kind of weird Ford-only thing? https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4NwWl ... sp=sharing https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4NwWl ... sp=sharing https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4NwWl ... sp=sharing https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4NwWl ... sp=sharing

Teacakes? Humph! Wafers, I say!

Back before we were on British Summer Time this year, I saw a cretin driving through Southampton with no headlights on. When he stopped at the lights, I (pedestrian) walked up to his car and knocked on the window, he wound it down and said (in a foreign accent), "Yes boss?" I said, "You've forgotten to turn on your headlights". He said, "Is what please?" I said, "You need to turn on your h-e-a-d-l-i-g-h-t-s!" (while pointing at his headlights) He just nodded, smiled, and said, "Yes boss, happy evening you as well!" And off he went. Without his lights on.

Yes, but how do you manage to half-install an older version of Adobe? And how can anyone manage to change the default language of the entire operating system in the process? How??!!

It would seem that today, my Mother has managed to half-install a previous version of Adobe Acrobat Reader and, in the process, she has switched the default language of Windows 7 to Chinese. She can no longer use the computer (because of the Chinese) and needs me to go and fix it. I shit ye not.

Those who let their dog poo on the pavement and don't bother to clear it up are lowlife scum who don't give a toss about anyone except themselves. The dog doesn't know any better, but the owner definitely should. Why? Because (as happened today) the dog poo gets all over the wheels of my daughter's baby buggy, or all over the wheels of a disabled person's wheelchair, or all over anyone's shoes, or anything else (especially at night). I used to work in a rehoming centre and we used to walk the dogs daily. Not clearing up the dog poo would get you a formal warning - it was drummed into us that because we had a lot of dogs to walk, one thing we absolutely must do to keep the reputation of the place good was to clean up after the dogs. Those who own a dog should be responsible. If I see anyone letting their dog shit everywhere and then just walk away, then I will publicly and loudly shame them. (rant over!)

Should have popped your little lad through the letter box and asked her to pull your pudding. Sounds like you missed out on a hot session of filthy whoopee there.

"Your nearest store is 41.1 miles away".

But some people can do two things at once ... http://images.spiderpaws.com/looney/images/pepe009.jpg

Incidentally, immigration is nothing new either - in the days of the Roman Empire, anyone, from any province of the empire, was automatically a Roman citizen so long as they had not been enslaved. Any Roman citizen was free to live anywhere in the empire they chose, provided they had the funds to get there and didn't end up being captured by bandits en-route and sold into slavery! Senatus Populusque Romanorum!

This is something we are worried about with our daughter (she's only a baby, so it won't be for a few years yet though). The local school goes from year 1 all the way to year 6 (or 7?) and it is literally round the corner from our house. The next school is 3 miles away and in one of the roughest areas of the city. Our fear (perhaps misplaced) is that because we are middle-class well-off homeowners we'll experience militant left-wing prejudice (which is almost as bad as militant right-wing prejudice). Of course I can't know at all whether or not that actually happens during the selection process.

I presume the shed is in the back garden? In that case, I suggest your best bet is to make the back gates as strong as possible, or if you have none, then hang some! My bike sits uncovered in our car port, beside the house, but where the driveway goes beside the house, I have erected a pair of 7 foot high Z-frame side-hinge gates with a good lock on them. In order to get through the gates, thieves would have to take a sledgehammer or angle-grinder to them in full view of the street. Their other option would be to smash through our 7 foot high and very solid garden fence at the back, walk the full length of the back garden, then get the bike down a set of steps in the middle of the garden, and up another set at the end. Few thieves are that brazen. They'll go for the easy pickings first.

In future, just shout at them in German. "Du bist ein Arschloch! Was ist das fuer ein Abscheu? Ich machte einen Befehl! Ich soll dich beim Schwanz aufzugen! Ich habe ganz voll auf der Nase um dich!" Just remember to go in wearing a comedy Kommandant's uniform with a tutu and stick-on pigtails.

Today's NOTD can be summed up with the following two phrases: "BMW M5 Convertible" and "Pink polo shirt with a popped collar". You can guess what the standard of his driving was like ...

Good news that something is being done. Theft is one crime that makes my blood boil. Thieves get no respect from me; they are lower than the belly of a snake.

Es tut mir leid, aber koennte ich dich gar nicht verstehen! Doch! Was ist das fuer einer Verwirrung?! Ja, ja, die Welt ist ein Irrenhaus, und hier ist die Zentrale ...

Yes, I have now given up!! That reminds me, when I gave my mother her first PC, she phoned me up to ask, "Do I need a new internet if I want to send emails?" I have no idea how she reached that conclusion. Also, to this day, she refuses to believe that it is possible to send an email from any device with a mail client or web browser. She insists that she can only send emails from her home computer. I have no idea why.

That's precisely the problem: tangos old man, compared to my defeatest mother! She has always been like that for as long as I can remember. Compare that to my mother in law who is 71, only got a computer at the age of 60 and now goes to adult ed classes to learn to program in Visual Basic, just to keep her mind active.

You're off the F**king chain! http://www.extremesupply.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/600x600/alpinestars/alpinestars_boots/alpinestars_webgoretex_boots_black.jpg Velcro (those are my actual boots ... well, not my actual *actual* boots, but I actually have a pair of those actual boots, although they're not actually those actual ones ...)

Tried that ... oh boy! I do actually only own one pair of lace-up shoes ... the rest are slip-on, zip or velcro

Up until now, my Mother (who is 75 - which isn't really that old nowadays), has been getting on the bus to go into the branch, in person, to do her banking, a round trip which takes about 2 hours. Now they've cut that particular route, so she would need to take two busses each way and she doesn't want to do that. So I set up internet banking for her. I have set her computer up so all she needs to do is go to the login screen, enter her security code and password, then click "login", and that's it ... voila! Logged in. I even showed her how to do it about five times. This morning, I got an email saying "I got an error to the password code, saying it couldn't do it". (note her use of language - complete babbling nonsense). So I sent her a reply spelling out in painfully simple detail exactly which keys on the keyboard to press. Her reply: "But it won't do the password code, I did the keyboard presses but it just does an error to the password code. I don't think you've set it up right. What have you done to my computer?" So now, mildly irritated at having been blamed for her immense stupidity, I sent her an actual screenshot of the login screen, annotated with arrows showing what to type in where, then click "login". Her reply: "I pressed login on the thing you sent but nothing happened. I tried again and again, but nothing happened. Oh I can't do this, why is it so complicated?". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she actually sat there repeatedly clicking on the login button in a JPEG image and wondering why nothing was happening. I very nearly sent an email back saying, "Give up. Just sell your computer and go back to rubbing two sticks together to make fire". I swear, never in all my born days have I met anyone else who is actually incapable of filling in two text boxes and then clicking on a button. The galling thing is that she's not actually stupid, she just doesn't do things in a considered fashion - she just randomly clicks on things impulsively without thinking about it. It's not old age, she's always been like that, and it drives me NUTS!!!! (rant over).

I had to look that one up on Google! Well, if ever the ol' ticker throws a wobbly, I know who to call!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKk1EILV5p4