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Posted

I would suggest you need some professional advice on this. But there's no reason for you to spend any money just cause your neighbour says so. Is there any benefit to you in getting the work done? Could it avoid flooding your property in future?


Sounds a weird situation, does your garden just direct water to her house? How often is it likely to happen?


Depending on the details, I'd be tempted to get ahead of it and get a quick solution. You can see these things going on for years and costing you more by sticking to your principals than it would have cost to sort in the first place.


Your local council or citizens advice bureau might be a place to start in getting some advice, failing that a solicitor may be the way to go. Depends what sort of money is involved in the work that needs doing.


A 50/50 option might be the way to go for a quick resolution if we're talking smallish money.

Posted
Water bombs filled with weed killer chucked over the fence at midnight...

 

Fill locks with superglue.

Or be a massive c*** and stick her hosepipe through her letterbox and turn it on at midnight.

Posted

Piss into a jug, pour it into a baking tray (carefully) and stick the baking tray in the freezer (equally carefully). Once it's frozen into a solid slab of piss, turn it out of the tray and post it under her door at night time. Come the morning, zero evidence but a thoroughly questionable smell coming from the carpet :lol:


Repeat a couple of days after you see a carpet delivery van outside her house.

Posted

Oh hey, that could work! If you used a silicone ice cube tray it'd be a bit easier than the baking tray, and you could just shove them through the letter box!

Hell, at that point you could just relieve yourself into a super soaker then stick the barrel through the letterbox and fire at will. Maybe mix in a bit of fish oil and sulphur.

Dear god, it just keeps on escalating in my mind...


...I finally understand the train of logic that led to my brother taking a shit through the letterbox of the local Conservative Party HQ :shock:

Posted

That's not a bad escalation though!


I thought "what could you do to be worse" and came up with fitting a land mine under the door mat.


Just have to settle for hanging a turd down their chimney.

Posted

If. If you could get in to their house; you could grab their tub of Utterly Butterly, remove the butter stuff, apply turd to the now empty container then replace the butter stuff.


They could be scraping away at that for weeks before they uncover the horror of your log sitting patiently in the bottom of the tub.

Posted
...I finally understand the train of logic that led to my brother taking a shit through the letterbox of the local Conservative Party HQ :shock:

 

Two things here.


1. You brother deserves a medal.


2. You need to tell us more about this.

Posted
If. If you could get in to their house; you could grab their tub of Utterly Butterly, remove the butter stuff, apply turd to the now empty container then replace the butter stuff.


They could be scraping away at that for weeks before they uncover the horror of your log sitting patiently in the bottom of the tub.

That nearly killed me lol.

Posted
...I finally understand the train of logic that led to my brother taking a shit through the letterbox of the local Conservative Party HQ :shock:

 

Two things here.


1. You brother deserves a medal.


2. You need to tell us more about this.

 

I wasn't there to see it happen, a couple of my friends witnessed it and told me the story. I said to him after hearing about it, that's some pretty spectacular aim right there. Must've had his arse pressed right up against the door! I guess maybe he got a turtle head going then aimed that in before pushing the rest out :lol:

Can you imagine the smear it made when they opened the door in the morning? :mrgreen:

Posted
...I finally understand the train of logic that led to my brother taking a shit through the letterbox of the local Conservative Party HQ :shock:

 

Two things here.


1. You brother deserves a medal.


2. You need to tell us more about this.

 

I wasn't there to see it happen, a couple of my friends witnessed it and told me the story. I said to him after hearing about it, that's some pretty spectacular aim right there. Must've had his arse pressed right up against the door! I guess maybe he got a turtle head going then aimed that in before pushing the rest out [emoji38]

Can you imagine the smear it made when they opened the door in the morning? :mrgreen:

That's absolutely brilliant. :D

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