Creative writing

[MarkW]

The father of one of my friends has just died. I'm prepared to bet that mine was the only message of condolence she received that managed to include the words 'c*nt' and 'motherf*cker'.

If any of our resident Men of God need any assistance with sermons and suchlike, just send me a message - I'm always happy to help.

[Tankbag]

Have you ever listened to a eulogy & thought, am I at the right funeral.

[husoi]

I refuse to go to a funeral.

None of the people I would attend the funeral would come to mine...

[dynax]

just because someone has croaked it doesn't mean you have to be nice about them, if they were a twat on earth then sure as eggs is eggs they'll be a twat in heaven

[Ian Frog]

just because someone has croaked it doesn't mean you have to be nice about them, if they were a twat on earth then sure as eggs is eggs they'll be a twat in heaven

 

I don`t think I or most of the people I know are destined for heaven to be honest.

Oh well at least I can be a twat in the warm!

Cheers

Ian

[MarkW]

Have you ever listened to a eulogy & thought, am I at the right funeral.

 

I love funerals - I always leave with more questions than I arrived with. The last one I went to was for a second cousin, and at one point in the service the vicar said: "And now, as we light this candle to signify Malcolm's life..."

I sat there, trying my hardest not to laugh, thinking "In what realm of fantasy does setting fire to a bit of f*cking candle wax signify anybody's life?" No-one questions these bast*rds though.

[MarkW]

just because someone has croaked it doesn't mean you have to be nice about them, if they were a twat on earth then sure as eggs is eggs they'll be a twat in heaven

 

Very true: death does not confer privileges - a point I tried to make on a guitarists forum just before I was unceremoniously ejected for using the phrase 'Mersey trout' when Cilla Black died.

Funny thing is that my friends father was a lovely chap, which made me all the more proud of my linguistic achievement.