Slowlycatchymonkey

By “that bad” I assume you mean no-one died?!

Commiserations but also congratulations on the attitude

TLDR- Rarely attended and got away with all of it. I did not like school. Starting secondary school my father sat me down and gave me the usual advice about how important it was to create the right first impression with all my new teachers. He then explained once they formed the impression I was a good girl if I stayed under the radar I would get away with most things “Let the first few idiots stick their heads above the parapet, the trouble maker slots will be filled and if you get caught doing something it won’t be your fault, generally someone else will be viewed as the bad influence” I followed this advice and then truanted continually only turning up a maximum of half the week without getting caught or my parents finding out. I was too busy drinking, smoking, partying and doing anything else fun that came my way. My school reports were excellent- polite, good grades, sets a good example for others etc Then in last year I pushed it too far, turned up for only one French lesson that term- she was awful, couldn’t speak French and the class was completely out of control. They rang my mum, I got home and she was apoplectic so I did the default childish thing and said it wasn’t true. Went into school the next day with nothing to lose and asked to speak to my head of year. I went for it, I was furious, how dare they ring and speak to my mother bothering her without even speaking to me first, of course I’d been there. I demanded to see the register showing I wasn’t there (I knew she was slack and it was worth a shot) but they wouldn’t show me the register. I said ok but you have to check, ask to see her register and if she’s even filled it in I’ll be there, she has know idea who anyone is, I expect my mother to receive a phone call apologising for upsetting her over nothing. Got home from school and my mother said I had a phone call today apologising profusely for bothering me and there had been a mistake. Unfortunately I did such a good job on the character assassination they removed her so I had to attend. Feel a bit bad about that one. Not the truancy though I had a lot of fun and you can’t turn over a new leaf if you weren’t bad enough in the first place.

I thought that too but it really can be a good thing. You wont make assumptions about what’s coming up traffic wise and will just ride what’s in front of you. The school will take you to the oops places on the routes they use before the test. In Bristol despite the vast test area it covers that amounted to one poorly marked round about, one set of weirdly off set traffic lights and a bus lane you can use but peeps don’t. Oh and those blasted 20 mile an hour zones. Not a lot really.

Cripes. Must have been days worth of work. Trade descriptions could have involved themselves. No amazon reviews back then to tell you “save your money it doesn’t work” On the other hand there was no internet and nothing on the telly and if we hadn’t of spent hours building different size ramps we would have only been outside finding things to poke with a stick

Oh the hours wasted trying to get a smooth landing. ">

As said above have a break go to a different test centre. Check the pass rates at centres around you (they vary wildly) and pick out the ones with higher pass rates so you can start afresh at a test centre that likely has positive examiners. Ring a the bike shops near the area and see who they recommend school wise as they vary wildly too and the pass rate may be down to a particularly good school. That’s how I ended up taking my test in Bristol which was the last place I wanted to do my test and at a school I never would have picked- small grubby room above a garage in St Paul’s but it was a great experience. Allow sufficient time to lick your wounds so renewed energies carry you through. You’ll be fine.

Yep it’s a different helmet 2% thicker and fractionally heavier. Looks the same though. The original wasn’t good enough to get the rating so they had to thicken it up and change the visor which had no safety rating before

Yep that’s a definite top spot contender. I particularly like the hinting at remorse but with no actual remorse, we may have a winner here

Hmmm. Room for improvement?

Blurgh I didn’t think anyone could put me off fondue but I reckon you’ve managed it Nope melted cheeeeeeeese holy goodness.

Some great work here and I thought you were all choir boys [mention]Joeman[/mention] How did that years report go down with the parentals?! [mention]BIKERDAD[/mention] What happened? Were the teachers too shocked to punish you or did they go for it big styley? [mention]Six30[/mention] Come on I swear if anyone can top this stuff it would be you, don’t let us down.

Nice of you to post a hello and the background. Do you happen to know has there been a study done that shows what percentage of bikers wearing hi-viz are involved in accidents. I was wondering if percentage wise your less likely to be involved in say a SMIDSY in hi-viz. You’d only need to know what percentage of bikers wear hi-viz and if this tallies with the percentage of accidents. I’m not sure I’d say the DVSA has “run” with the motion camouflage thing, it’s in there but it’s not as prevalent as other parts which are repeated ad nauseum. I answered about 800 practice Qs before my theory test and none where on looming or how we’re not seen. Only the high-viz, lights and vehicle distances came up. On the CBT (for me) they went into quite a lot of detail with matchbox cars and other vehicles to demonstrate how n why you wouldn’t be seen. Sadly they just don’t have enough time in 1 day to squeeze it all in. Im must be very slow today I only just got the ‘spindoctor’ thing as well! Doh.

Jimmy Hill

I’m wondering how a non ECE rated helmet would go down with the insurance co in the event of injuring yourself in an accident- assuming the policy includes personal accident cover. They’re tricksy so n so’s. I think (although I don’t know) that they only check the helmet in very serious incidents, anyone have any experience?

[mention]Six30[/mention] are you sure? I’m thinking the silver glitter helmet they do might suit you down to the ground

[mention]fastbob[/mention] aah now c’mon each to their own. I don’t get the slagging off of the hipsters thing, the more bikers the better. Boring if we were all the same. I love all bikes including the retro stuff, that’s my first memories of what bikes n helmets etc look like and what I badly wanted when I was small. When the sports bikes arrived on the scene I remember being upset mobikes had “gone all plasticky” Took me a while to appreciate the mountains of plastic.

[mention]Speedy23[/mention] cor that’s one unlucky lady! I’ve made sure my scarf is too short to cause any mischief! Might double check that now I’ve read about poor ol’ Isadora

Oh bloody hell I just bought a helmet ⛑ and I was hanging out for them getting approval but gave up. That and they look nice but don’t really do what I want comfort/convenience wise! Where did you see the info? I’d email them. I doubt they’ll be approving the previous iterations. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s taken them the years it has because they couldn’t get it through without altering the way they manufacture/construct them. I don’t know that, I’m just having a guess at why it’s taken them years when their sales would soar with the ECE rating approval.

Yer. That’s pretty much the essence of what the DVLA theory test book says, alter your road position to break the looming effect. He probably wrote it! I’ve found a scarf flapping about helps, I see people’s eyes double take and fix on it, not the bike, the red scarf flapping. I notice a big difference with n without it, car drivers behind increase their following distance, they often drop back a metre or so more, I reckon it’s a good visual indicator of movement and speed that you can easily lose cacooned in a car. Mind you on the motorway after a while it flapping about is annoying on the neck, maybe I need a little cape! ">

Liked the science of being seen stuff I’ve read. The fat DVSA book you have to read to pass the theory test goes into motion camouflage/looming and how to break its effects which I thought was very forward thinking of them, simply written and easy to follow. I re-read it after I’d been riding for almost a year without any incident and then 2 people didn’t see me. Two on the same day. I mean they properly didn’t see me, one looked directly at me at then pulled into my immediate path at the last moment. Swerveing is highly underrated. I saw a look of complete horror on one of their faces when they saw me too late, they really hadn’t intended to ruin anyone’s day. Didn’t get back on the bike for a week. I notice he talks about right of way a lot, just as an aside the term right of way has been ditched and now by the Highway Code and accompanying fat books only talk of ‘priority’ this was apparently to get people more into thinking which is the priority road and not that somethings their right of way.

Congratulations [mention]ShouldKnowBetter[/mention] Nice write up. A pass is a pass Enjoy the shopping.

Me too. Dunno why. We currently have a very frisky little devil in our trees thats constantly flying about without a care, can’t see him lasting long. When I was tiny my grandmother used to have a red squirrel that knocked on an upstairs bedroom window, it would send her into a paroxysm “Don’t feed the squirrel, don’t feed the squirrel” I always found this very funny because grandparents generally are quiet sorts. So last year I went to Brownsea Island because I wanted to see a red squirrel again. I dragged everyone with me and we trudged around and around with the accompanying whining and laughter teenage boys use to let you know of their displeasure and that you are an idiot. Didn’t see a single one. Can’t see a squirrel now without someone pointing out it’s not red and laughing.

On the motorway Friday pm it was clear why reflective strips are so effective. Saw workmen on the hard shoulder waaaaay before I could make out any form. My best half tells me I was highly visible from some distance away. He was wearing a new waterproof with reflective strips and the bright parts were eye level not just another brake light somewhere down there. Well worth the effort.

Couldn't say. I was kicked out of RE in primary school once (well, several times if I'm being honest) when the religious old bat who taught us asked what everyone wanted to be when they grew up. All the girls wanted to be vets or nurses, and all the boys wanted to be footballers or firemen. All except me. I said I wanted to be a hitman. Aah so sweet Mr Slowlycatchymonkey wanted to be an assassin turns out he’s too nice to be a librarian