Attitude?

[Steve_M]

Taken from a Facebook post…

 

”*** TIPS ON TUESDAY *** When others make mistakes Part 2
The human condition is to make errors. None of us are perfect, and we have to expect others to make mistakes. Since we share the road, we need to anticipate driving errors, but even more importantly, we need to avoid the adverse psychological effects of high-stress events such as confrontations and road rage when drivers around us put us at risk. 

Riding while angry triggers the body’s fight‑or‑flight response, elevating heart rate and stress hormones. Anger impairs judgment and promotes deliberate risky behaviours like running red lights, tailgating, dangerous overtaking, aggressive swerves, even brake-checking, substantially raising the likelihood of collisions. One of my video nasty YouTube shorts showed a rider brake-checking a car and getting knocked off by the driver who clearly wasn't expecting the bike suddenly slow down. That was hardly a well-judged manoeuvre.

The fact is, riding angry doesn't solve any issues and almost always makes things worse, because our own reaction to a mistake in turn frequently provokes retaliation from the other road user who sees our response as uncalled for. The situation rapidly escalates, potentially into a violent confrontation. People are killed in road rage incidents.

WHY ASSUME OTHERS ARE 'OUT TO KILL US' - "Treat other road users like they're out to kill you." I've lost count of how many times I've heard that since I first heard it from a police biker running a safety course back in the early 80s. 

It's actually the result of a series of cognitive biases. 

We instinctively attribute our own successful performances to our internal qualities like knowledge, skills and effort, whilst shifting blame for failures onto external factors because we find it uncomfortable to admit our personal mistakes. This in turn makes it easier to believe someone else’s error stemmed from their own incompetence rather than the situational challenges they faced. This error leads us to judge unintended mistakes as character flaws rather than honest lapses. We remain happy to explain our own errors as “an unavoidable slip”, but when others make the same mistake we treat it as “proof of incompetence” such as when "they don't bother to look" as many believe when drivers fail to see motorcycles. 

On top of that, our brains weigh negative events more strongly than equally significant positive ones, so it's the errors that stand out on the roads, magnifying their impact and making us more likely to remember them as evidence of wrongdoing. We never even notice the equally-significant correct decisions that happen around us all the time. 

WHY OTHER PEOPLE GET ANGRY WITH US - we could start by recognising that individuals with difficulties in emotion regulation, such as those with anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, or PTSD, may be particularly vulnerable to intense anger behind the wheel. It's been estimated that around one person in 50 have bipolar disorder. Personality disorders are estimated to affect around one in 20, and one in 4 will experience some kind of mental health issue. It's not a 'fault', it's simply the way brains are built. Think about that next time you're out on the bike. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF NOT RECIPROCATING - even if someone else has 'triggered' us, we can work to avoid reciprocating. Angry gestures may seem like we're making our own point about our feelings, but they are frequently interpreted as signs of disrespect - how often have you waved a fist at someone and received a blast of the horn in response? It's even worse when the 'offender' attempts to apologise first and is met with a torrent of abuse. That'll trigger me, for sure.

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'ZEN MOTORCYCLING' & A CALMER PATH - we can look at the concept of 'plays well with others'. This is a term originally coined in childhood education to describe cooperative play, but it applies to adult psychology too. It signifies effective communication, sympathetic perspective‑taking by imagining the other driver’s situation in order to avoid misinterpretation during high‑stress encounters, and mutual respect by cultivating empathy. It all helps disrupt the hostile attributions about how others behave that fuel anger towards others. 

BEATING RIDING ANGER - however 'Zen' we try to be, there will be occasions when others do put us at risk, and if we're to avoid being triggered - and I myself have had problems with this in the past - we need to gain the self-awareness that lets us recognise our rising negative emotions in order to beat them. 

Labelling emotions - fear, frustration and anger - can fostering a calmer, more deliberate mindset when tensions mount, and that's the first step in regulating them.

Mid-ride, it can help to implement a cognitive‑behavioral strategy, such as reframing stressful traffic situations as temporary inconveniences. I have an unique approach - rather than rage at a jam that's holding me up in London, I look at architectural features on buildings. It's quite amazing what you can see if you look, and it all helps move our focus from the delay to something more entertaining. 

If we do get angry mid-ride, then a deep‑breathing exercise can help us return to a cooler state of mind. I've even stopped and got off the bike before now, and gone through a mind-clearing and conscious muscle relaxation regime to suppress the stress responses before resuming riding. 

And we can take a huge step by not going riding when we're upset. I know that some bikers genuinely believe that going for a ride on the bike is a good way to relieve stress and anger. In fact, the evidence points the other way. If we ride when upset, it impairs our impulse control and we are more likely to indulge in risk‑taking behaviours than if we cool down at home.

AND IF NONE OF THIS PERSUADES YOU - and you still resist the need to 'play well with others', maybe this will. Acute spikes in stress hormones can temporarily reduce blood flow to the heart and brain, magnifying the chance of heart attack or stroke for up to two hours after an angry outburst!

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please pay it forward to other bikers! “

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

At Old Stores yesterday there was a biker complaining how many cars had pulled out in front of him that day. The same thing happened twice to me going home from Old Stores. One was a rural road where the driver had limited visibility. I could see the nose of his car, he couldn't see me. Such a simple situation to fix and turn into a non-event. 

 

The other was more annoying. A lady emerging from the right who pulled halfway onto the road, stopped, saw us coming, waited, and then just as we were on the junction decided to pull out. There was no gradual creep which would indicate they were about to move, she just floored it at the last moment. This caused me to need to brake heavily on gravel which locked the front wheel. Getting irate with such stupidity is pointless. I work on the basis that if they make me cross they've ruined my ride more than necessary. It's best to stay well clear of such idiots rather than engaging with them.

[S-Westerly]

Absolutely.  Ignore them as its like most arguments- you will not change someone else's opinion. I still work on the basis of expect the very worst and then you'll only get pleasant surprises.