RantMachine

I went into the city centre last weekend so I could post my Secret Santa stuff, couldn't believe how quiet it was! Only queued for 5 minutes at the post office, and nearly saw as many carol singers as I did shoppers I guess that more and more people are doing all their shopping in the Black Friday sales, too. Still doesn't make sense to me that the retailers have imported that... why sell stuff at a massive markdown when Christmas is just around the corner? I guess it makes more sense for the Yanks who don't care about Christmas as much, but really baffles me in this country...

Are you asking cause you want to volunteer or copy me? I was just gonna warn Mr Brightside to look the other way sharpish

Well to be fair that's not much more than a brand new Lexmoto, and give it 12 months and it'll be less knackered too

So if it's not the bike, is this for the Fritzl-lair you're building under your new house?

The front is the one that clings on, the rear just follows Oh chicken strip master, enlighten me for I know not about such things... how the heck have I managed to get the front ones noticeably thinner than the back? I thought it usually goes the other way round

Which bit of the Bandit broke now?

Hey, why not just use one of these? As a bonus, you never have to worry about torquing it up

Oh dear, why would anyone want to do THAT? Gopro is totally the wrong shape for mounting on a helmet and they are not cheap but video quality is very good. Depends what you want really, but there are plenty of good quality cameras available that don't make you look like you have a huge Lego block stuck to your helmet for a fraction of the price of a gopro. I'm indifferent about GoPro, I just meant that vlogging is a bag of dicks

Oh dear, why would anyone want to do THAT?

Sent mine, it'll arrive at some point. Maybe. Can't trust these Royal Mail types. And I haven't received a box of broken ER5 parts yet, so I figure things are looking good.

**local post office explodes, Sleepy curses her luck that nobody was in to receive the delivery**

I got bored of GT by the end of the second episode. I think that part of the fun of old TG was them trying to be as daft as possible within the BBC's strict set of rules. Not so entertaining when they have absolute freedom and a bottomless budget.

I reckon we should all do videos of us opening them so everyone gets to see the reactions

My BMW had a self breaking system... it was terribly effective.

https://cdn.theguardian.tv/mainwebsite/2016/12/15/161215uber_desk.mp4

It does seem like a massive case of shitting on your own doorstep... one thing to get petty revenge, another thing altogether to tell the whole internet about it As it was, he messed the bloke around, got his jollies, and got away with it. But now, the tradesman who lost six hours of his day knows who the culprit was and where they live! Dickery inbound, methinks...

I'd probably just wind the window down a tiny bit, lock it, then chuck the keys onto the driver's seat through the window.

Glorian will be many miles away at the TOGS Christmas do.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that most of them don't repeat it enough times to make an income from it. Especially the ones that jump through sheets of glass. Some of those made me feel a bit ill when they show you the injuries afterwards

"Too Stupid to Die"? How about "Too Fat to Live" This has opened my eyes to a whole new realm of entertainment: American teenagers maiming and sticking it on youtube for our amusement. Some of this stuff is just uncomfortable to watch, but most is hilarious.

How do you find time in your busy schedule to complain about it?

Too late, Stu ruined the fun

Oh... I'm sorry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2dImprgiB8

I could happily be green instead