old-timer

Father and son bull are grazing in the upper meadow when they see the farmer drive the cows through the gate below. Son, getting excited says: "c'mon dad , let's run and do one". "No son", father says, "no... let's stroll and do them all"...

Dont post jokes when drunk or stoned I say, nothing wrong here... The thread is called "Your worst joke". Well, you've got to admit it is the worst so far...

Well, I can imagine your mate buying his bike in the UK and avoiding high NL tax. Only for us it is not so practical because there is always the problem of shipping. Plus, you need to change the headlight unit to a 'continental' one otherwise the bike won't be approved. By the way, in 2014 they changed the definition of oldtimer or 'classic vehicle'. Up until that moment, any vehicle over 25 years old was cosidered an oldtimer. And for oldtimers you did not need to pay roadtax. Then they decided, since lifespan of cars had stretched quite a bit these last years, to change it to: '40 years and older'. Now there was a kind of 'transition rule' for those who already owned a classic of 28 to 39 years or more, they 'only' needed to pay 25% of the normal rate. But that did not apply to diesels... They had to pay the full amount. So suddenly peole who owned say a 35 years old big Mercedes or camper van diesel, had to pay roadtax. And, as I explained before, cars (and bikes) are taxed by their weight, they had to pay sometimes thousands of Euro's a year for these heavy beasts... So many had to quit their hobby all together and sell their cars for less than they payed for it, mostly to car lovers in Germany where rules are different. In this topic the word 'fair' came up. Well, as far as covernment rules and taxes are concerned, 'fair' only exists in the word 'fairy tale'... And as you can see, our UK and NL governments are just as bad as the next one... But... don't worry about me.. This Old-timer is well over 40 !

I don't know about other countries in Europe, but in NL and Germany some cities have banned older diesels (pre 2002 I think) from city centers. So, even if you are willing to pay more, you simply cannot get in... I know that the German city of Dortmund is one, because a couple I know that lives in the city center sold their 'classic' diesel camper and bought a newer VW camper because of the ban. In NL, in cities like Amsterdam, Utrecht , Den Haag and such, older diesels are banned from city centers too. So like my friends in Dortmund, people who live there and have a nice classic diesel, cannot park their cars by their houses or even in their garages, they are simply not allowed to drive there. (And we all wonder, how many of them can there be...?). But what really pi... puts me off is that in Utrecht, MOTORBIKES of 15 years and older are banned from the center as well. Never mind if they have a catalytic converter (like my BMW F650 GS does) or not. As my bike is from 2002, I am simply not allowed there anymore. But my daughter lives there... (well not in the center, but still... !). Some changes in vehicle taxes in the period 2017 - 2020 have been announced. Road taxes will be reduced by 2% for all vehicles. Road taxes for vehicles (not only diesels) that are not 'environment friendly' wil be raised as of 2019, no percentages mentioned so far. By the way, in NL vehicles are taxed by their weight. Apart from VAT, in NL we have an additional "purchase tax" for new vehicles of 25%. This is uniquely for Holland, other countries around us don't have it. That is why cars and motorbikes in NL are (much) more expensive than for instance in Germany or Belgium and many of the Dutch who live near the border buy their vehicles overthere and import them themselves. This tax will be reduced by 14,7 % before 2020 (big deal !). I think that because of the different rules in different countries, it is hard to compare. Some countries have road tax in the price of fuel, so you pay in relation to your usage of roads. Other counties have (France), or are going to have (Germany!) toll for the use of their highways and/or bridges and tunnels (Stockholm, Sweden - Oslo, Norway). Fact is that whatever they come up with, we pay !

Looking forward to your video !

That's peculiar indeed! All four of mine have the same size...

We had bikers here in NL with the word "POLITE" on their windscreen and/or their backs. Here it is extra confusing as the Dutch word for 'police' is 'POLITIE'... Did you notice the difference ?

In the train this morning I overheard 4 English girls telling (word) jokes from their smartphones. (Hang on, that's not the joke...) . I remember these 3: What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo ? A hippo is very heavy and a zippo is a little lighter... Why did the old man fall into a well ? He did not see that well... And The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life ...". But John came fifth and got a toaster... It was a very enjoyable ride.

Sons ánd daughters... Congratulations, but I wish you lots of luck then too! But... If you survive to be a granddad, you can have your revenge... There is nothing like being stupid, or an idiot even, together with your grandchildren. It reverses the situation completely when their parents tell you off and criticise you for screwing up their childrens upbringing and being irresponsible. But the children will feel like there is at least one grownup who understands... Great feeling ! I wish you a long life...!

OMG !!! It only gets worse then ? Well I would not know. You see, I had 2 girls (or rather have 2 girls, but they have their own families now). And having girls creates a totally different set op worries for dad... Still, whatever happens, you 're the bad father (mum says)...

A lot of head banging going on in the UK ? I'm not sure who to feel sorry for, the head banging sons or the 'bad' fathers. Maybe you should give your boys crash helmets...

Besides riding my bike, I have a few, more or less bike-related, hobbies. One is collecting scale models of motorbikes with sidecars. They may be made of wood, tin, metal or plastic... They may be a proper scale model, a kit (DIY), decoration or a toy, as long as it represents a motorbike or motorscooter with a sidecar. I even have a cardboard kit, of a R16 BMW racer-with-sidecar; a reprint of a German cardboard kit from 1932. There are about 75 in total now, some of which I bought in the UK. In my website there is a picture-overview of most of them, but I still need to make pictures of the latest ones to complete the overview. Here's is a link to that particular web page: Old-timer's scale models Another hobby of mine is writing so called 'motorbike related Christmas stories'. Since 2006 I write a story or tale every year for christmas which I post in 3 Dutch biker forums. I recently started to translate them in English for my international biker friends to read. I finished my first translation last december and (very presumptuously ) posted it here in TMBF. You can find it here: A bike related christmas story Like topic starter and a few other people of TMBF, I play guitar. Only my guitars are acoustics; a 'western guitar' (Blueridge BR60 'dreadnought') and a 'folk guitar' (Stagg SW206 'cut out'). The Stagg has a bit smaller body than the Blueridge, so it is fits with the other luggage and camping gear on the motorbike. As a "biker/bonfire singer", I like to sing folk- and country music and play guitar and mouth harmonica at biker meetings and camping trips. Though I'm a cover singer (strictly amateur) rather than a singer/songwriter, I have written 1 or 2 songs. One of which, called: 'The Ballad Of Biker Dicky Brown' is about a biker mate of mine, who passed away in 2009. He had only 1 arm left after a terrible accident at a very young age, and he had to be very persistent before he was allowed to ride again. On his final ride he died, too young and in a very peculiar way; with his boots on, but fortunately not in an accident. I just hád to write this song as a tribute to this very remarkable and brave biker. The song may not be a musical exploit, but it is the story that counts; his story, which I think should be told among bikers... So I show the lyrics as subtitles in the video and even when my accent obscures the text, you still know what it is about...

It started in the seventies, if I'm not mistaken. PIlots (always arrogant boasters) started to use bumper stickers to advertise their pretentious lies: "Pilots are better lovers"... Not long after, a variaty of 'confessions' from all sorts of people appeared on (bumper) stickers: Squashers do it... against the wall Hokey players do it... with sticks Windsurfers do it... standing upright Swimmers do it... in water Firemen do it... on ladders. But... I never saw a statement from bikers. !!!??? So, either they are too modest to tell the world how they do it, or... they are too shy. I don't want to think of a third possibility; BIKERS JUST DON'T DO IT... So I was thinking, how do bikers it... ? From what I saw among my biker friends, I know that some Bikers do it...Using their right hand. While other Bikers do it... Using hands and feet.. Or, Bikers do it... in leather, Or Bikers do it...in protected gear, Or... in the open air... or on- and off road... And some specific bikers have their very own way of doing it, like: Harley riders do it... with big twins. BMW riders do it... with boxers... I'm sure there must be more ways that bikers do it, but I just cannot think of any now. So... If you have a suggestion, please let us know. C'm on. Don't be shy, tell the world how we, bikers, do it... And don't give me: "My bike has no bumper, so no place for a sticker". Or are you the one of possibility 3 ???

Friends are not friends until Facebook says they are... !

But... but... these are made especially for toes and fingers. So how in the world did you manage to... ??? Oh well... if it fits, why not ?

Does your toe hurt from friction (between boot/sock and toe) or pressure (not enough space i.e. boot a bit too small)?. If it is friction, you might try a tube of some sort of 'stretch fabric', lined inside with gel. It may also help in case of pressure, but of course it leaves even less space inside the boot. You just cut off a piece and slide it over the toe, thus forming a kind of buffer between toe and whatever is irritating it. Hoping that after a while your boot has adjusted to your foot enough not to be a 'pain' anymore. A mild form of arthroses has deformed one of my toes a bit, so it won't stretch out. In some shoes (and indeed my motorcycle boot) I use such a tube to prevent the toe from rubbing the upper inside of the shoe. They are for sale in drugstores or maybe even in supermarkets. So if tricks for making the boot a bit more specious don't work, this may help (temporarily).

I must say in his defence though, it's not really his fault he didn't see the camera's flashing, he clearly had no time to look in the mirror. He was concentrating on the situation in front, as he always is when he is speeding... Safety first !

Well done. Now just don't squeeze the front brake lever...

You don't have a main stand, or a center stand, or how is it called in English ? If you do, you could do it my way. Park the bike on the stand, and support the heavy part (engine) with a stool or something. Then take the wheel out, it should keep, my Dakar is a lot heavier than your 135 kg bike. I was lucky, the stool was exactly the right hight, but a pile of wood could do the job as well... Good luck.

Maybe so, but in my country, law says: "Not guilty if guilt can not be proven beyond reasonable doubt". As far as I know, Brittish low is not any different in that respect. So if there has not yet been a fatality due to daddy longleg's byte, I say : daddy is not guilty and myth busted ! But thanks for the award nomination ! 'Preciate it !

OMG and we will love you for this more than you will ever know And Wow, I don’t know what to say... But I fear that not everybody would agree: I can assure you however that no pandas, spiders or Old-timers were harmed during the compilation of the instruction set. My little black-and-white friend volunteered, no insisted, to take the role of the spider. Now this thread took an unexpected turn, but I never intended to hijack it. But here is a way to get back on topic, or maybe we have never been off topic at all…... I just realized that pandas and spiders are genetically related… They are both members of the same family: FIAT cars !

Beware though. One might think that Panda's, just like some hairy or furry looking spiders, are cuddly animals. But never try to cuddle spiders nor panda's, you might end up in hospital, if not worse. If you should come across a panda in your house, just catch it carefully as described above, and remove it. And remember: Be respectful towards ALL living creatures and NEVER ever kill one, other than in a life threatening situation !

A very Interesting and impressive thread ! However; I noticed that tsurugi-ijin posted her findings concerning Daddy Longlegs at exactly the same time I was 'googling' about the subject. And I found the same (or similar) information as she did ! Apparently the story of 'Daddy' is a myth. In the Info that I found it was mentioned even that it has been 'busted' on the TV-show Mythbusters (I presume the program is broadcast in the UK as well...). I'm not really scared of spiders, and I leave them in peace when I spot one. Only the big house spiders scare me sometimes when they are suddenly running across the room. My daughter knew that I would not like to kill them, so she gave me this apparatus. The bottom can be opened and closed by turning the knob at the top, while holding the tube, Once the spider is caught in the transparant cone, you can let it go outside by opening the bottom again. Place the 'trap' over the spider Turn the knob, closing the bottom (carefully, so you don't cut off a leg or harm it otherwise). The spider can now be taken outside and let free by opening the bottom again. P.S.: In the pictures I used a lttle doll of a Panda bear, as I don't have a plastic spider and there was not a live one around.