curlylegend

During the last unpleasantness with Germany my dad was in the Submarine Service. He took a total scunner to seagulls when he was sent out to recover the bodies of victims of a submarine that encountered a mine in the Forth of Clyde. All the eyes were missing and even as they pulled the cadavers on board they had to beat off the seagulls.

Stickin oot, man ! And you got a smashing day for it too !

That is a remarkably shiny motorcycle ! chapeau !

Bravo ! Told you it wasn't that difficult !

Psychological and IQ tests should be the very first step in being allowed to drive anything. You can't expect mental deficients to be able to drive responsibly surely ?

Please ! Would I lie ? Yes that's exactly what happened. He did buy it but without a discount and got the hint to pack up toute suite and f*ck off.

We advertised an electric oven that we'd bought but hardly used. Sure enough a guy turned up, had a good look at it then asked if we could plug it in so that he could see it was working. Which I duly did. While it was warming up he went out to his van and came back with an uncooked chicken and proceeded to stuff it into the oven. He wanted to make sure it could cook a chicken. I asked him if he was going to wait until it was cooked and he replied " Would you mind ?" At that point I pulled the plug and told him if he was going to cook his chicken there it would be only after he'd bought the oven and made a contribution towards the electricity. He then asked how much of a discount he was going to get.....

I didn't think so. The man made two sensible decisions to get rid of stress in his life. First the job, then the financial burden of the boat. Stress is a killer !

Agreed !

I thought it was more like 50's technology !

You mean like poor Tinkickers ?

Smart arse !

Au contraire, c'est du gaélique écossais. Some of which I can remember from infancy !

Or have you seen these ? Marvelous things ! Dried toilet paper tablets. The actual instructions were missing with my delivery but it's easy enough to figure out how to use them. You just swallow one with a meal and when it's time for your bowels to move your turd comes out already wrapped.

I'm glad to hear that. But exactly what kind of help are you going to be giving ? You could start carrying with you one of those folding cardboard thunderboxes that American forces used in Iraq and a roll of Delsey.

No collar, no tie and working mens trousers ? My, things have changed. Bet you don't even have to wear a bowler hat.

I agree wholeheartedly with you. They're pretty useless. I had a parcel posted to me here in France from Glasgow and it took three weeks to arrive. The sender had sent it Tracked so I could watch progress. It took two and a half weeks to reach France and just another couple of days to clear customs and reach me here. Pony Express would have been quicker !

I had one of them for 25 years. I had to replace the camshaft around 15000 miles and two years old, bit miffed about that ! The double skinned header pipes broke up internally so I chopped them open and removed the inner pipes. The silencer gave up the ghost after 15 years and the tank developed a leak where the front of the seat chafed through. David Silver was very helpful with the silencer and a pair of fork stanchions. It gobbled cheap chains though, but I ended up with an o-ring chain and a Scottoiler and that lasted till I gave it away. Never a ball of fire but it was a good touring bike only let down by the size of the fuel tank.

You can't help asking if there really are people like this in the world ? and this is just acted out . Sadly, I think it is true.

Aye, that's bonnie Scotland for you !

Really nice warm sunny day so out for a short tour of southern Brittany. I'd got less than 10 km from home when I came across this... I was riding a very minor road I'd never ridden before, but I was curious. Sure enough, a few metres up the road there it was.... Just looks like a field but why would it have a windsock at the end ?... The things you come across when you travel back roads ?

Maybe you could use these somehow or other to discomfit your pestilent cats ? Isn't it strange how humans can get so emotionally attached to certain creatures ? My sister-in-law would have given her life for her cats and yet I'm sure they only thought of her as a convenient food source. My brother flies into a rage if a tv program about fishing comes on. The rumour is he was once engaged to a mermaid. Personally, if I ever saw Sylvester getting hold of Tweety Pie and devouring it I wouldn't turn a hair. I know a lot of people have strong opinions about cats, but I'm not convinced that animals are capable of deliberate cruelty. Humans on the other hand, that's a different story !

Oh. ok, thanks for that. Fairy flies ? Whatever next. goblin grasshoppers ?

In the news over here, there's an homme de voyage , or as we used to be allowed to call them a gypsy, in serious trouble for boasting that last year he killed and ate 200 hedgehogs. He's facing 8 months in the jail as apparently hedgehogs are a EU protected species. There's a terrible uproar as a lot of people are demanding a death sentence. But it's odd, isn't it, as I can go to the garden centre and legally buy and use mini landmines to blow up moles. It seems the French hate moles ?

What's a midemadore ?