Little Johnny

[Stu]

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

[Tiggie]

At school one day, Little Johnny's teacher asks the class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence...

Little Johnny raises his hand. "Yes, Johnny?"

"Well," he says, "I was helping my dad in the garden last week, and we saw the neighbor painting his house. He was using a small brush, so I asked my dad, 'Daddy, why is he using such a small brush?' and he says, 'I don't know son, but it's gonna take that contagious.'"

[Hoggs]

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven." Mary answers, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!" The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this. "Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

[soll]

Little johnny's biology teacher asked the class what they did over the holidays.

Mary said "i rode a pony.", The teacher replied "very Nice"

Agatha said "I went to france", "oh tres bien" the teacher commented in reply.

Little johnny said "Well miss, I stuffed bangers up frogs arses!!", the teacher paused and then said "Rectum, johnny, rectum!"

Johnny replied "rectum miss, it fooking killed em"...........

[Six30]

Little johnny's biology teacher asked the class what they did over the holidays.

Mary said "i rode a pony.", The teacher replied "very Nice"

Agatha said "I went to france", "oh tres bien" the teacher commented in reply.

Little johnny said "Well miss, I stuffed bangers up frogs arses!!", the teacher paused and then said "Rectum, johnny, rectum!"

Johnny replied "rectum miss, it fooking killed em"...........

 

[Stu]

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government so for homework that one day she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered ''Look at it this way: I'm the president your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying.

He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep.

Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room when he looked through the maid's room keyhole he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud!

''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force Congress is fast asleep nobody cares about the people and the future is full of s**t!''

[Stu]

The teacher says Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?

Little Johnny waves his hand Me teacher! Oh me me!

The teacher smiles and says Alright Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?

Little Johnny says Mas-tur-bate.

The teacher is taken aback but she manages to smile and says Wow Johnny that's a mouthful.

Little Johnny says No ma'am you're thinking of a blow job. I'm talking about jerking off.