Your worst joke!!!

[puggybear]

I was asked "Puggy,have you ever eaten magic mushrooms?"

I thought for a moment...

"No-but I once sucked a radish that could do card tricks!"

[Jixerman]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

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No Idea

[puggybear]

Ok,you genuises of TMF,a question for yerz;

When the Pope buys stuff from ebay....does he use his papal account?

[puggybear]

I actually have NO idea how old this computer is-but it has Mullions XP installed on ye harde drive...

[Selene]

a man walks into a bar with friends one night...the man walks out at exactly 00:55 AM with a woman...they decide to go to his house where he thought he would be in for a fun night of rock'n'rolla though the poor fella was in for a hella surprise...they walk into the guys apartment and they head straight for the bedroom slowly kissing and stripping each other from the top to...bottom?

hold on a minute! the man yelps, what the hell is that?! to where the woman replies, that's my dick.

...should have got your beer goggles from specsavers!

[Zod]

Hi. I'm Zod, and I am an addict.

[Guest]

What do you call a Ginger prostitute?

..... Orange pay as you go

[Fozzie]

Why do you think some girls love your penis so much?

Because their mothers taught them to enjoy the little things in life

[puggybear]

Had my chest waxed yesterday. It was REALLY painful. My fault-should have gone to Pec Shavers.

[apologies to Selene. her joke made me think of that...]

[puggybear]

I just can NOT get the top to unscrew off this tube of superglue.

....I'm not sure whether I'm annoyed or impressed.

[timmy164]

what do you call a dear with no eyes AND no legs??

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'still' no f**king idea

[Zod]

A woman named Harley gave birth to her first born son...She called him Davidson.

[Ben_E]

"I'm not racist," I said to my mate, "but I prefer my sandwiches cut diagonally."

"...but that's not racist," he said.

"Exactly," I replied. "I said I wasn't racist."

[puggybear]

"Doc,every time I sneeze my eyesight blurs. It's worrying me"

"That's easily cured-stop cleaning your glasses with your hanky"

[puggybear]

Both my mate Dave and I have been diagnosed as having an inferiority complex.

.....but his is MUCH more impressive than mine....

[spike123]

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise',

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'

The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise'

'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck by mistake'......

[Rad]

Two sperms are swimming along.

- Is it far, mate? We've been swimming for ages.

- I think so... We barely made it past the tonsils.

[Tango]

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

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DUUNNNGGGGG!

[puggybear]

I just won the 'Best-Kept Secret' award....

.....I can't tell you how much it means to me.....

[numptyspence]

Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when the rider slowed and pulled over because his leather jacket had a broken zip.

He told his friend, "I can't ride any-more with the air hitting me in the chest like that.

His mate said he should just put the jacket on backwards. and they continued down the road

Down the road and around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.

A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?" "Well," the farmer explained, "the rider was until I turned his head around the right way!"

[puggybear]

I find it kinda strange that Babestation isn't allowed to show tits until after 9pm

.......yet BBC Parliament can broadcast real tits,live,all day every day.

[puggybear]

I had a hard childhood,growing up in the roughest part of Rome.

.....you have to be tough to survive,in the spaghetto

[Smokin Joe]

We bought a sausage dog last week. We took it back after a couple of days, the sausages it made were revolting.

[Boothy]

Religion.

[uk190]

boothy. religion is not a joke.

millions of people have been massacred over the millenia over something far more serious than a "joke".

and if people want to believe in sky fairies then thats their prerogative. you'll get yourself in trouble preaching your non religious sermons young man. now appologise this instant.