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Posted
Wow, that joke seems awfully familiar...

Have you seen it somewhere before then?

Posted
Wow, that joke seems awfully familiar...

Have you seen it somewhere before then?

Well I certainly have this feeling of deja-vu, but I can't think where I would have seen it...

Posted
Wow, that joke seems awfully familiar...

Have you seen it somewhere before then?

Well I certainly have this feeling of deja-vu, but I can't think where I would have seen it...

Scroll up to sept 21st :lol:

Posted

Have you seen it somewhere before then?

Well I certainly have this feeling of deja-vu, but I can't think where I would have seen it...

Scroll up to sept 21st :lol:

I feel a story about the war coming up soon :wink:

Posted

I don't cheat on my 'significent other' [aka 'Ratbag'] and never would.


There is NO WAY I'm carting my iphone,ipad and macbook into the shower every time!

Posted

My neighbour insisted it's impossible to drive spaghetti.


WRONG!


[you should've seen her face as I drove pasta...]

Posted

Yes Dear informed me it's about time we had the pitter-patter of tiny feet around Chez Puggybear.

Ohhhhhhh,boy.

So-I got her a puppy. Weeell-it's MUCH cheaper - and you get more feet!


[what,exactly,is a 'divorce settlement',anyone?]

Posted

.....and another thing - namely,sponges.


HOW can something so full of holes,hold so much water?!?

Posted

And while I'm here-has anyone else noticed that fat birds defy the laws of physics?

Anyone?

It's true - the more they weigh,the easier they are to pick up!!!


[not that I have personal knowledge,of course...I hereby refer you to joke #557]


Right-I'm off to peel the cat. Goodnight.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

A bloke who worked for the railway commited a crime and got sentenced to death by electric chair.

They strapped him in, flipped the switch and nothing happened.

The executioner didn't understand and asked the railworker what was going on, he said.....


"I always was a bad conductor"

Posted

When I was a kid my dad used to let me put my pocket money in a special money box under the stairs.






I was 15 before I found out it was the electric meter

Posted

Mensa Test question 5b.


'What sources are there within the confines of the UK (geographically) for social and ethnic stereotypes?'


Top scoring answer:


Tomato ketchup in the South and brown sauce in the North.


:tumble:

Posted

Well I certainly have this feeling of deja-vu, but I can't think where I would have seen it...

Scroll up to sept 21st :lol:

I feel a story about the war coming up soon :wink:

 

{Jan 7th} :popcorn:


During the War, we had this lad convinced he was going to die - He kept us awake in the trenches with his constant moaning so, we sent him to get some tea.........


From the local corner shop.


Still waiting for my tea......

Posted

Paddy and Mick looking through a catalogue, paddy says " you seen the women it here Mick they're gorgeous so they are "

Mick says " I know , I'm ordering one " .

2 days later Paddy says" has your women turned up yet Mick "

" not yet Paddy but it won't be long , her clothes turned up today "

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

BEFORE MARRIAGE..

Man : I have been waiting for this day

Lady : Do you want me to leave?

Man : No

Lady : Do you love me?

Man : Of course

Lady : Will you ever cheat on me?

Man : Never in my life

Lady : Will you ever hug me?

Man : Every chance I get

Lady : Will you hit me?

Man : Are you crazy?

Lady : Can I trust you?

Man : Yes

Lady : Sweet heart

AFTER MARRIAGE :

_Read from bottom to top_

Posted

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

Posted

" im off out mum "


She said " you ain't going out any where until you change that mini skirt "


I said " why "


She said " because I can see your bollocks Dave "

Posted

Blow me up and I will play with you. I am a Balloon.


p.s

[that was a chat up line. I have sent a reply using a facepalm picture]

Posted
Blow me up and I will play with you. I am a Balloon.


p.s

[that was a chat up line. I have sent a reply using a facepalm picture]

 



you sound a bit deflated and let down :D

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