RantMachine

Not had a SMIDSY yet, have you Phil...?

Hmm, the thing you've got there is just connecting me to the JPEG thumbnail of a GIF (with a download option for the full file), rather than the GIF itself. Is this the GIF you're wanting to post? http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-10/23/14/enhanced/webdr07/anigif_enhanced-23665-1414087512-1.gif Because if so, just click "quote" on my post and pinch the line of text in the image markers! Reverse image search on Google is awesome for finding existing host websites

Hmm... never tried doing it with Dropbox so not really sure what the problem might be. Can you post the image link in this thread so I can test it from my end? No need for the stuff, just the link that you're sticking in between them.

Yup. Or if you know another website that already hosts that GIF, you can be a cheeky sod and use their URL to save you having to upload your own copy

Just upload it to Photobucket or somewhere similar then paste it in the same way you would with any other image, using [ img ] url here [ /img ]

For once I get to say this: Oh ye of little knowledge Taking pics of the rear wiring on that bike is about as easy as working on the clutch in my BMW... Because of the way that the rear of the Loweride is (badly) designed, it's a sod to get to. As noted above, it just runs along the inside of the rear mudguard, so access from above is impossible. Only has a few little tie wraps keeping it off the wheel, which is why I suggested this could've gotten buggered at some point. The pannier racks restrict your access from the sides, and in a stroke of genius it's the same bolt that holds them in place as secures the top of the shocks, so removing them is a nightmare. The bolts also go through the mudguard, so again you have to remove the shocks to get in from the top The easiest way to get decent access to the rear wiring (even for taking a photo) is getting it up on a paddock stand and getting the rear wheel off. Even then, that's not particularly fun because the exhaust is right in the way, so you need to at least loosen it up in order to be able to draw the axle out, but that being said I had to completely remove it to get enough space. So probably better to check everything else first, including checking the wiring in the midsection (where it can sometimes hang out the belly of the bike) and maybe just having a grope around under the mudguard to feel for an obvious break in the wiring before pursuing that possibility too much. But yeah, check the bulbs, it's a bit fiddly but Fozzie is definitely on to something here. Could save yourself a whole lot of misery. Edit: Also, getting the rear wheel out is a sh*t because the mudguard hangs so low that you can't just roll it out, even on the paddock stand. Once you've removed the axle, you need two people on it: tie off the front brake, then one person stands over the bike and lifts the rear by hand while the other rolls the wheel out!

Sticking to the bike in question, the Lowride is effectively a rip-off GS 125 dressed up in fancy American-style clothing Well, so it claims to be anyway... but that's a whole other story. Short version is, the entire engine, airbox, carb, wiring loom, blah blah blah are all robbed from a GS 125. Which as far as I was ever able to tell from reading all over the place, only has the one in-line fuse right beside the battery and nowt else! And I certainly had no luck locating other fuses hidden anywhere when thoroughly gutting the bike to check for any parts that needed replacement or overhaul in the weeks before someone squashing it for me

Love the pics, nice one Ricky

Actually hang on a minute (facepalm moment): If the bike starts, it isn't a fuse problem. It only has one :lol: The Lexmoto website offers a 10A blade fuse as well as the 15A glass fuse, but the 10A fuse doesn't actually fit anywhere into the bike.

Failing that, check those two silver-finished plastic bits (which I've marked "A" in the diagram below) on either side of the headstock. They are really poorly designed and have a habit of cutting into the wires that run around the right hand side of the headstock, to the extent that they can actually cut through them. I once lost use of my secondary headlights to that design oversight. Turn your bars all the way to the left and check if "part A" has cut into the wires underneath. It has a little recess that's meant to allow them to tuck in, but it's too small, has sharp edges, and the wires are under too much tension to move with the recessed bit as the bars turn. I resorted to removing part A, using a file to make the recess much longer and with smoother edges, and then putting a little rubber strip over the resulting edge so it couldn't cut through soft butter let alone wiring. Other than that, bear in mind that it's a Chinese bike, so a lazy final assembly by the dealership is one of your worst enemies. The wiring is vulnerable as hell, just runs up the inside of the rear mudguard and if they haven't secured it properly god only knows what could have happened to it. Also, on one occasion the wiring started hanging out the bottom of mine because it isn't properly secured inside the bike; pop your seat off, and then inside is a little plastic bit that (for memory) should pop out without the need for any tools - the tool tray is part of it, then there's a deeper section about the size of a 200 carton of fags. Once that's out, check the wiring underneath is actually secured in place properly. If you can't get that out easily, with the bike still on the sidestand, take a peek underneath for any trailing wiring. If you can't fit your head under, use a small mirror If all else fails, pop to a dealership and see if Lexmoto feel like honouring their warranty

Now now, that's a bit mean - it's only the solenoid that went wrong every other week, and you can fix that by making a rain sheild out of a bit of margarine tub or milk carton

I would've believed you if you told me it only rolled of the forecourt the day before I first saw it!

That was already based on the multipack price

Nah, right now mine is a state of the art paperweight - and to rely on the ever dependable test for motorbike value, no it is not worth its weight in Freddos. Webbs in Peterborough told me it'd be worth about £800, which buys 3453 Freddo bars at the current Tesco price - that's a mere 94.6kg of Freddo. The bike weighs in at 175.5kg (dry), so is in fact worth roughly half its weight in Freddo http://www.officesuppliesexpress.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/8/7/87009180_image_new_13.jpg

And I will give them constant grief for it until I'm too drunk to care

Maybe I should dress as Stu this year, seeing as I won't be bringing a bike

I'm going to ask a question or two out of personal interest because I feel this is an area in which I am ignorant; please don't take this as a questioning of your values. Assuming that their selection criteria is effectively based around drawing straws, what relevance does it bear that the school has large numbers of children from immigrant families? Are the families based outside of the school's catchment area but given places regardless in order to satisfy diversity quotas? Because that really would be idiotic. As a point of interest rather than relevance, is the percentage of children that are from immigrant families proportionate or disproportionate to the percentage of the population within the catchment area that are immigrants? If they genuinely are employing a completely random selection process and not straying outside of their catchment area, it doesn't sound as if the nationality of the children at the school is the root of the issue - it sounds more like the flaw is in their failure to make provisions for families with several children of school age. Drawing a straw for each family until all places are taken, rather than for each child, would perhaps make more sense? All questions aside, I think it's a terrible shame that they don't do anything to ensure that siblings are able to attend the same school. Hope you manage to get things sorted in a way that works out well for the whole family.

Bloomin heck, that's a lot more oil than my forks were spitting out when I decided it was time to take the bike off the road

Life Is Killing Me - Type O Negative

It's £70 just to buy the chain and fit it yourself on mine... And £125 with the sprockets... Shoulda bought a Kwak!

That Lexmoto was a prepper's dream come true The BMW is more of a hung-over mans dream come true.

RantMachine's Standard Issue Do-Not-Leave-Home-Without Equipment: Pockets - Phone, Wallet (with a few emergency contacts in case someone finds me smeared across a wall somewhere, or I bin the bike and break my phone in the process), Cigarettes if I'm going through one of my smoking phases. BMW's topbox - Spare fuses, lithium grease (bought as a temporary fix for a nasty creak while riding around the peak district last year), coffee stained hi-vis vest (not to be worn while riding), several old copies of the Big Issue, Mars bar wrappers, loose cable ties, couple of helmet bags, spare gloves, girlfriend's helmet, Neurofen, Berocca. I am not good about emptying it. Panniers on the Lexmoto (before its untimely demise) - Choice parts of socket set for tensioning the cheap nasty chain while on long rides, emergency camping gear in case it breaks down in the middle of nowhere (Coffin tent, mini sleeping bag, 3/4 size ground mat).

Every kind of nuts right there Loving the police tactic of "push his scooter over while he's moving"

Well, if you live in a rented house you could just keep it in a tub in the shed and leave it there when you move, same as I'm doing with all my contaminated oil