Mr Fro

sounds... Uncomfortable! Are you using the master key? Maybe you could try running a bypass wire direct to the pump to see if that's shagged.

Laser cannon are the answer. Laser cannon.

You can get a fitment that goes in the stem to which you can fit the unit. Also, would you mind posting your wife to me please? I rarely get gifts.

Well you know what needs to be done dont ya... Get it (her) done. Quick selfie while your at it. So what's the progress on this then?

Oops, long day.

Prices have gone up quite a bit this year Stu so I see the logic of getting them now. But of a risk buying them but if one company has gone belly up then there's more business for the others.

Careful on stocking up, most of them are only valid for 12 months.

Emmers - top tip; give up the smoke and mirrors stuff. There's a wealth of very experienced engineers, inventors, bike experts and people with genuine PhDs who would be happy to lend you a hand (or idea). If you have IP that isn't already owned by BMW, Honda, that French firm or me then fair play but otherwise, try being a little more open - you might get a better response.

Pretty much - you'll probably have a drain bolt on/near the water pump too.

Yeah, a facerbutt... Which is something I believe is a "special practice" in Germany.

That is such a bad idea it's off the map. I wish I had a cricket bat specially for when I see people riding along with their feet down in the rain! Mind you, you can bung them back on your knees afterwards and everyone would think you're a demon rider.

Todays nomination goes to the arse head who had a flat tyre on the A14. Not a huge problem you may think but this turnip had stopped his car on the outside lane of a 3 lane carriageway. Congratulation for making everyone in the 2 mile tailback late for work.

Hot at the top, not so much further down?

If you're doing the same route often just slowly pick up the pace over time, there's no point trying to rush it. nice and smooth on the throttle and brakes and try to keep you arms and shoulders nice and relaxed.

Great hairy elephant swingers to that! We Pastafarians express ourselves in many ways. Ramen.

I'm not surprised if you try taking it's temperature with that bloody great thing!

You know it. I found mine has a laser pointer the other week and annoyed loads of people. And a passing cat.

Did you not hear? They're changing the name next year to Urectum to avoid those silly jokes.

Rust on a Kymco? You can sand as much of the rust off as possible and brush on some rust remedy (or similar). Next is filling, sanding down, priming and painting - hammerite is good at slowing rust. Another option is to cut the offending rust out and weld in a new bit of metal. All of that is a fair bit of effort - I'd be tempted to get a new set of mirrors - probably cost the same as doing the above anyway.

Oh yeah? Wotcha gonna do boi?

I have one. What is the nature of the "safety instrumentation"? Regards, Rev Dr Fro

An oxymoron I believe.

Work dear boy? Work? I have a man to attend to such things you know.

Yeah, drain and flush the coolant. Run it up and flush it again. And again until black crap stops coming out then fill with a quality coolant. Also don't use that garage again! Edit: Whereabouts on Neptune are you? Someone local might be able to make a recommendation for a decent garage.

Mine are all leather - I have a Spyke set (11 years old), an RST two piece (8 years old) which is my standard everyday set and have not had even the tiniest quality issue, and a Frank Thomas one piece (9 years old) which again has been great - I've "tested" the Frank Thomas and it has to be said that without them I would have an extra hole in my arse. None of these sets were particularly pricey and I happily still use the one piece on track. I wouldn't recommend leather alone if it's going to rain a decent amount as it soaks up a tremendous amount of water and you get bloody wet! I'm toying with the idea of a new set as mine are quite dated and mucky (can't be arsed to clean them) - I'll definitely be buying leather again.