Bhawk

always try the gear on if possible, i ordered some motorbike jeans online, size 36 but i barely squeeze into them. Not sure if its differently sized or if im getting to be a fatty

I wear my 2 piece leathers nearly all the time, only recently that i havent as i bought biker jeans. Ive seen first hand what the road can do to you so id prefer to get a bit hot. i like my skin.

A man goes into the confession booth and says, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. I'm 50, unmarried and having sex frequently with a 21 year old woman." The priest said, "It's good that you have come to me, but I haven't seen you at our mass. Tell me my son, how long have you been Catholic?" The man answered, "Oh, I'm not. I'm Jewish." Surprised, the priest asked, "Then why are you telling me?" The man said, "I told you I'm 50 and having sex with a 21 year old. I'M TELLING EVERYONE!"

So a man sees a boy walking into town towards the local hardware store. He politely asks the boy, "what does a lad your age have interest in at the hardware store?". The young boy replies: "I'm going to fetch some chickenwire so I can catch me some chickens." The man replies: "You can't catch chickens with chicken wire sonny." chuckles and walks off. The next day he sees the boy again towing a wagon with a number of chickens in it. He thinks to himself "well I'll be." The following week the man sees the same boy walking into town towards the hardware store again. "What are you going to fetch today laddy?" the man asks. The young boy replies: "I'm going to purchase some ducktape so I can catch me some ducks." The man similarly replies: "Young man, you can't catch ducks with ducktape." then turns and walks back into his house. The next day he sees the boy walking towards the market with two ducks under his arms. Shaking his head in disbelief he mutters "he must know something I don't." Once again the next week the man sees the boy walking into town. The man asks: "What you after today dear boy?" The boy replies: "I'm going to find some p*ssywillow." The man replies: "Hold on, let me get my hat and coat, I'm going with you..."

my wife and I were talking and she said to me "honey, I'm thinking of getting a boob job to make my breast bigger".... I said, "why dont you rub a peace of toilet paper in your cleavage"... She replies "and what the hell will that do?",... I said "I dont know but it sure worked on your ass!"...

looks pretty cool to me! your missus must have a skilled hand doing all that

completely off topic but i have to ask, in your avatar you have a mini trailer for your bike.....where did you find it and what attachments do you need to pull one? Cheers

keep at it, you will pass when you are ready

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.' 'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.' She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: 1, you have to be single and 2, you must be Catholic.' The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!' 'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.' The nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?' 'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.' The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

Ive wanted to get into beekeeping since i was a child, one of the places where i hunt up on the moors theres about 30 hives that someone has, the honey you get from moorlands is delicious, if ever i see the beekeeper ill have to swap him some bunnies for some honey! How expensive is it getting into beekeeping?

It all comes with time, and muscle memory, when you do things automatically and you can pay full attention to other things like traffic. It will come. Just keep practising!

That is a huge myth sssshhhhhh thats my current excuse for having one lol

i use my bosses jetwasher every now and then, never caused me any issues (touch wood) although i need to give the bike a thorough wash, she hasnt been cleaned in over a week

My brother got a large compensation claim, he lost an eye at work after a metal spike popped it. He has nothing to show for it only a couple of years later. No house, no car, nothing.

If your gloves arent giving enough protection, a tip i used to use when flying birds in winter was to put on a cheap disposable latex glove underneath the normal glove, its amazing how much warmer you are. i havent tested it out on a bike yet but i cant see it not working.

I agree, i wouldnt give too much about myself and my security away too, as i have a lot of expensive stuff at home. However if i did have someone trying to nick something i would just open the doors and let the dogs have them. Either that or shoot a couple of rounds over their heads so they get the idea.

I was waiting for my girlfriend to get ready to go out the other night. She opened the door and asked, "do I look fat in this?" I replied, "yes, but it is a small bathroom."

congratulations, well done on passing, now comes the fun part!

I have four dogs, a fly cant fart in my garden without setting them off. And the smallest one a jack russel cross chihuahua can get out the cat flap, and thats the bugger i wouldnt want to mess with. Several years ago, i showed my ex what we feed to the falcons. i.e cute fluffy chicken chicks. so she picked one up and asked if she could keep it. Being a soft arse i agreed and she called it meep meep. Now meep meep grew, and bloody quickly. It grew to be an absolute monster, it used to kick the hell out of my hunting dogs, it would run in the house, nick your packet of fags then leg it back outside, fags were never to be seen again. Well one time i was away for a couple of weeks with work and i left my old bike in my back garden. One night she heard a commotion late at night and looked out to see two thieves getting attacked by the cockerel. They were desperately trying to climb the 8 ft wall but every time they turned their back the chicken would launch at them, the police were called and managed to get there and actually catch one of them thanks to the chicken. I also bought my mother a duck for mothers day ten year ago, it became a guard duck. Its now locked in the back garden as it kept attacking the postman. She still wont let me eat it

Why not find a campsite and all book it, then have a bbq and drinks

I did smoke Dokha (arabic tobacco) from a medwakh (arabic tobacco pipe) which is very very strong, but the issue i had is dokha looks (to many) like cannabis, which meant i got stopped several times by police and others. When i say its strong, i smoked 30-40 rollies a day, when using dokha i only smoked 5 pipes a day, and the pipe bowl is tiny, you also get a nicotine rush every time.

i may have to pop down and join in!

when i did my mod1 i was trained on a smaller turning space (i didnt even know it until mod1) and i was told to keep revs higher, feather the clutch to get enough speed and if you think your going to drop on the turn, feed the clutch out a little bit to give it some speed to carry you through the turn. It feels difficult at first but you soon get the knack. can you ask your instructor if you can do a lesson just learning to ride slower and slower until you have the knack of clutch throttle and back brake figured, then apply that to the u-turn?

i smoked for ten years then went on to vaping. Only problem i have is i was a very heavy smoker, my e-cig runs out of battery before the day is out and im too tight to go out and buy a better one. Luckily i have a portable powerbank thingy to see me through

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."