James in Brum

Thanks for the kind and compassionate comments

I’m okay with the world these days

Damn James.....really sorry to hear all that!

It seems there's a few of us who had the misfortune to have bad parents.

Glad life is looking better for you now.....I think the key is that even though you'll never forget the past, you can't allow your future to be determined by those experiences.

One weird thing; we started this with Brexit in mind. I had just started a new senior role and then a month later Covid arrived. I thoroughly enjoyed it at first. I had daily challenges to face, was succeeding at it and there was the excitement of the challenge.

Now that it has become boring it's all a bit rubbish

Hi Gang

Great thread [mention]fastbob[/mention] .

I have been debating whether to share or not, I find it hard to share things that make me feel vulnerable. I have been inspired by the courage shown by those choosing to share and indeed by those choosing not to share because that it what is right for them.

The story of who I am (rather than my life) begins with me growing up, up until 11 years old, with a Dad and Mum. Dad seemed to favour my sister hugely and I was a wimpy kid.

At 11 my mum told me she was leaving. My Dad responded a short while later by trying to kill himself. I woke up to hear Mum on the phone to ambulance so at 11 was trying to wake my dad up and keep him upright whilst we waited for the Ambulance. I felt I needed to stay with my Dad when Mum left. She moved it with a full on Cnut.

Over the next few years I was quite unhappy, didn't belong anywhere it seemed and was consistently struggling with odd dynamics in the two families. Over that next few years my Mum whom was the main person in my heart basically groomed me to be abused by her husband. Not just me either. I was lucky, once actual incidence and not too severe as these things go. My mum also blamed me for times when she and I would go for a walk and leave my sister with my step dad, portraying that I was causing the risk with my selfishness. All pretty unpleasant.

At 16 Dad kicked me out and I spent the next few years being miserable. I found myself the company and victim of a bloke I worked away with installing industrial equipment. He bullied and abused me. It was really shit. I kept finding myself being the victim of ar*eholes for a few years. I thought I was depressed but in reality life was just shit. I tried to kill myself with overdoses a couple of times, always whilst intoxicated by taking whatever pills I had lying around and then going to bed. Woke up both times.

A few things along the way helped, there were some people who I met who in stead of abusing me took care of me, showed me kindness and valued me. I went bankrupt at 22. I started to turn things around when I was 24. I am lucky that I was able to and any of the ways I mistreated myself did not last and I could recover. It was hard, I don't trust anyone with my real self. The nearest is Mrs in Brum but I cannot be truly vulnerable even with her.

I love my kids but I am not sure if I am as open as I would like to be. I imagine terrible things happening and assume I would be okay.

I don't tend to feel strong feelings and am only content when I am really busy and therefore distracted, I'm not sure I could every use the word Happy, but then I am rarely sad and low either theses days. I find playing the little kid games hard because I am not distracted enough. I am driven to be busy and to be kind.

I think I do okay at both and I have made a success of myself but with a dysfunctional relationship with myself and with others.

I’m going climbing in the lakes. Will take the car though because of the 3:30 start and needing to not be cold when I get there

My new second hand Rukka jacket arrived this morning

Very happy.

I’m going climbing in the lakes. Will take the car though because of the 3:30 start and needing to not be cold when I get there

Pics please and we’ll done

Just to start. I have no issues with people drinking alcohol and eating meat, at all.

There, that's done. No need to argue it.

Anyway, over the past 12 months I've had more than my fair share of physical health issues and as I would like to carry on living for a few more years rather than croaking early I've had to make some adjustments. I'm 51 so with that in mind I have made some adjustments to my lifestyle as well as taking lots of medication and attending hospital appointments along the way.

I've also made some positive steps already, lost nearly 4 stone in weight by maintaining a calorie deficit and walking 10k steps a day but I knew for me, my two hinderances were alcohol and my consumption of meat, both of which had an effect on my physical and mental health. Those who know me on this forum know I drank... a lot.

So, I decided to cut out both. My decision, nobody else's and it doesn't affect anybody else but me. I'm looking after me and want to enjoy many years of life, more bike trips and life in general. I'd like to see my only son grow up and get on with his life.

The annoyances.

As it is a totally personal decision to cut out meat and alcohol, it shouldn't be a problem. However, the amount of friends who have tried to convince me that my decision is wrong is staggering. It's almost like what I have decided to do offends them in such a profound way that they have to constantly find ways for me to return to my old habits, even saying that I'm boring and won't enjoy life anymore.

I can't see the issue myself. I've taken a decision to stop eating and drinking certain things. Putting things in my gob, that's it. It doesn't stop me doing my job, enjoying pastimes, riding my bike, getting on with life etc. In fact, it's actually helped improve my health. My BP and cholesterol levels have improved dramatically. My mental health is so much better. I can't see an issue myself but it seems that others struggle with it.

Has anybody else in the same position ever had this when changing lifestyles?

Interested to know.

They are projecting. It is sadly that simple. I have had it yes. I have also had friends put them self out hugely to support some changes I have made in the past. None of them batted an eyelid when I have undone my hard work, none of the judges me for trying. The ones who behaved the way you described are no longer friends. Not because I did not like them but because after a while having people who purport to like you undermine you gets tedious.

Is that for the lakes?

I shall be climbing in the lakes hopefully. First time in a while so need to dust off my gear/ropes etc. Also first time in the lakes. Very chuffed.

[mention]XTreme[/mention] ebay! For 3k he could get a mint one!

[mention]fastbob[/mention] i do currently still have a licence. I’m on tenterhooks until mid December. I should know more before Christmas about whether I get to keep it or cry.

I do that thing where people recommend what they have.

I have a Zzr600 from 1990.

I think it is brilliant. I commute 20miles each way but have done 30 each way on it.

It can go bloomin quick, there are rumours of it not finding 140 difficult despite be thirty years old and of it always winning of the starting line if you want in traffic.

I might take it to a track one day. It manages all weathers and anything I need it too. I’m only 5’9 and a bit, I suspect it would be okay for the more vertically adept.

I saw it and loved the look. I sat on it and it fitted, I rode it and love doing that. I don’t have a lot of experience of many bikes, I found the Honda nc750s a bit dull really. I’m in my late thirties so the nineties bikes are what I fancy.

Nothing wrong with letting your heart speak when it comes to bikes, after all if you making the choice on sensible you would have a car for it

I got five NIPs a few months ago. That really was the government though I think

[mention]Via[/mention] does doesn’t he? Not seen him for ages though. Maybe worth dropping a message too.

Was it Via that had one?

125’s really don’t have much power. Another question to think about is how much do you weigh (no need to answer this here )

Well done. After my CBT I waited two weeks for my bike and felt like I might as well have not done I CBT. I could not remember it.

I stated small. Around the block for a bit, extended the nick. Rode to easy practice areas I knew. I did that every evening for 300 miles and was soon confident to rely on my bike for transport.

Oh Tesla just make ICE cars look old and pointless in my view.

That article is a year old and we still do not have any further development towards them happening

I’d have the Zero electric bike if I could afford it.

It makes sense for my fifty miles a day. I just can’t spend the money at the moment.

If I had the dosh for new I would spend more and buy electric now (probably keep the zzr) but I can’t see me spending more than a grand on a bike until I become sepreme head chief of the Homeopaths and more income.

There are some YouTube videos about checking the voltage to see if stator or regulator rectifier are working. At least for my bike. Worth a check.

Also an old thread on head of me being talked through checking it.

Welcome, sorry to hear how it turned out. Looking forwards to your pics of your street triple once you get it.

This isn’t fishing for arguments. The aim, I believe, is that the supply chain for materials is as harmless as possible for people and the world.

That’s as much as I know.

Congratulations [mention]Richzx6r[/mention] she’s bonny.

https://shop.fairphone.com/gb_en/?___store=gb_en

An ethically influenced smartphone is the idea. When I looked into the fair phone 2 it seemed like an already 3 year out of date phone. I was doubtful of it’s longevity which is something I have found important with my phone making them last as long as possible

I’m

Curious about the fair phone three. Any views on it?

Erm......wish us luck.....think it's time for the addition to arrive

It’ll be okay, go with the flow, when plan a does not work try plan b, if that dos not work c, by D you are doing as you are told and just be glad you have an excellent health care service around you.

To be honest that applies to what comes after too.

We’re all (I’m sure) excited to hear updates. Parenting is mental, from start onwards.