Mawsley

Both of them had snuck up and hid by the bottom of the bed

Morning. All hell broke out here at 6am. Child’s Amazon and phone have been compromised. The screams - god the screams. You won’t hear the like in war zones. Attentively, I quietly closed the bedroom door and am lying with the duvet pulled over my head. The two women never listen to a word I say anyway - if they had have done they’d have decent password protection and two step authentication. Idiots.

Take out GAP insurance and park it in North London for a few hours.

I spend my days deleting emails from PR companies promoting Instagram "celebrities" God do I hate Instagram "celebrities"

Just ban Six's account for life and that'd ensure everyone here is safe.

I'd have something similar if I demolished about thirty houses, rewilded the land, and got rid of the fence the farmer erected that would be more in keeping surrounding a military base or prison.

Paid that for the Triumph 1200, new, fully comp - but nothing over £150 for my other ones. Currently £96 for fully comp on the Harley *cue jokes about 'not even bike thieves want them'

Afternoon. Work has been going much better now the hangover has abated. Well, aside from the fact that I've had to pause for half an hour - because every time I try to address a certain research paper I fall to pieces at the name of one of the authors. Tell me Yung Bum Park isn't funny? I soundly apologise to everyone more mature than me. It's not my fault, my mental development stalled about 40 years ago. Yung Bum Park!

Well it's now 54

Afternoon. Feels like I'm trapped in a void, like Neo in the Matrix when he was stuck in the subway station. Pretty sure it's related to a bad pint yesterday - but that's not helping me work today...of which I have written the sum total of zero out of 5000 words

They grow up too quickly. Puppies should be provided on something like a PCP contract so you can chop the old one in for a new one when they get bigger. *Actually, having thought about that, no - this is one of my most stupidest ideas. A lifetime of cleaning up mess in the hall? I don't think so. This is as stupid as my idea that I'd be more successful at work if I tried telling the truth all the time to earn the respect of my bosses.

They lied. They don’t serve any beer at all - just teeny flavoured ciders and punch the wife lager. Thanks Redditch. Thanks for nothing.

Might have been tempted if it was free, but I'm not paying actual monies to go hear a bloke just talk a bit.

Wow. If I ever get a quote over £250 I'm giving up bikes.

*whispers* And I love Apple products too!

Aaaaand of course there's no lotion in stock. That'll be another week of little sleep. I'm starting to feel as perma-tired as I did when the kids were little.

I find it amazing MotoBatt polarises biker opinion so much - they're a real Marmite product!

Who knows, they certainly don't. Fourth different lotion to be applied. Third different type of pill. Two months in, getting by on a few hours kip a night, still banned from using soaps and shampoos...I'm becoming a slightly unpleasant person to live with. Given I have a thing about hygiene, this is really getting to me

Afternoon peeps, Off to the doc again in a bit. Originally told I had scabies - we did everything but set fire to the house and everything we own. Then it was clear to me it wasn't scabies - not least because no one else in the house has caught it. Then was told it was "non-specific" when I went a second time - which I guess is doctor for "I've no idea what you have wrong with you". His solution didn't work, I still itch like a mofo. And now I have purple itchy lumps in places where I'd rather have no unsightly lumps at all. Here's to the doc being able to Google better this time.

It was a joke; it was funny if you've seen Final Destination 5.

Something I will never do - for all the reasons explained in Final Destination 5

Afternoon. The wife has the most infuriating habit of texting pointless messages and flooding Facebook with reposts from her idiot friends or those kind of inspirational images that makes me want to set fire to everything. In the space of 48hours, her phone has stopped working and Facebook has taken leave of its senses and banned her.

All my XJ9s had Monokey fwiw.

From a press release that dropped into my inbox: NEW MOTORCYCLE MARKET REGISTRATIONS IN 2024 SURPASS 2023 TOTAL WITH STRONG DECEMBER, ELECTRIC CONTINUES TO STRUGGLE “The new motorcycle market ended 2024 somewhat positively, with December recording growth of 114.0%, climbing from 5,236 units to 11,206 units. This marks the second consecutive month of growth, and the December surge helped total registrations for 2024 surpass those of 2023” says Symon Cook, Head of National Motorcycle Dealers Association (NMDA), commenting on the latest MCIA figures. In December, there was a 114.0% increase in total registrations, from 5,236 to 11,206 units. Total motorcycle sales grew significantly by 122.6% from 4,854 to 10,807 units, whilst moped registrations also increased modestly by 6.0% to 373 units. December’s figures bring total registrations in 2024 to 116,399 units, reflecting a 2.5% increase and narrowly surpassing 2023 total registrations. All motorcycle categories experienced growth during the month, ‘Modern Classic’ saw a substantial increase of 302.7% for the month to 1,486 units. ‘Adventure’ rose by 103.5% to 2,277 units. ‘Scooter’ grew by 105.8% from 1,333 to 2,743 units. Electric motorcycles experienced a decline, with registrations dropping from 256 to 219 units, a decrease of -14.5%. For the full year, total electric registrations in the new motorcycle market fell by -7.7%, declining from 4,061 units in 2023 to 3,750 units. In terms of the different ICE capacities, all experienced growth, with the 126-500cc category increasing by 165.2% as did the larger engines, with 751-1000cc rising by 101.7%. Honda maintained its strong performance in 2024, finishing as the top-selling brand in December with 1,923 units sold. Yamaha followed with 928 units, Suzuki came in third with 848 units, and Keeway completed the top ten with 400 models sold. Symon Cook concluded: “2024 has proven to be a challenging year for the new motorcycle market, including a stretch of five consecutive months of contraction. This strong finish is a welcome turnaround, with hopes that this momentum will carry into 2025. “Similarly, the electric motorcycle market also faced difficulties, with a -7.7% decline in 2024 compared to 2023, registering only 3,750 units for the year. “Looking ahead to 2025, the Government must provide greater clarity for the sector, including on electric motorcycles. Notably, motorcycles were not included in last month’s consultation, which is seeking views on proposals to support the UK’s transition to zero-emission vehicles. “Dealers have been dealing with a perfect storm of challenges including rising expenses, overstocking, and a market downturn. This has in some instances led to the closure of several dealer sites across the country. The motorcycle sector plays a vital role in the UK economy, and in 2025, the Government must take action to restore confidence among both dealers and consumers alike.”