Mawsley

Xmas beer run done Let the festivities begin

Helllloooooo Xmas food Took half an hour this morning to go from “You can eat everything..well, no, not that, that is for Xmas” to “Yes, I suppose it is Xmas and so you can eat all of it”. She’s gone to work. Course 1: croissants Course 2. The salmon with something that isn’t croissants Course 3. Everything else Id be on the Bailey’s too, given that’s a breakfast/girl’s alcohol, but I need to be at the brewery for 10 to collect my Xmas beer.

Wife and daughter moaned about how our Xmases are always shit. Sat down with them, mapped out a couple of days they'd love - including plans for meals. Yesterday, the pair of them went shopping, bought all the old stuff and announced we'd be having a traditional family Xmas. I give up. I will never understand women.

You are cleverer than an octopus.

Not been able to eat cephalopods since I realised they’re more intelligent than the average person I meet on any given day.

The need some lessons on how to make chips

Bored out 250

I had the chain drive A1, swapped it for the CG125 I got for the wife to pass her test on. Reckon I packed on 10k fault free miles. In fact the only issue I had with it was breaking it down in the car park and moving the bits in boxes up to our spare room. After some months tarting it all up, it got reassembled. It was at this point I remembered I lived in a first floor flat. It took four of us to ride it down the stairs safely. Wife hasn’t let me bring a bike inside since! Thing would outcorner all comers in the Dengie and had enough poke to rag it on the straights.

Who's owned a GPz305 and what was it about the bike that made it one of the best bikes you've ever ridden? Someone on the Facefriends said it was boring. They are clearly wrong and/or insane. I found it a completely exhilarating ride around country lanes and, with engine bars for your feet, made for a decent fun tourer to boot.

Wife agreed I could celebrate being ace at finishing my work - so pills have been left in the packet till tomorrow and I've hit the rum. So far not dead, so a reasonable call.

Evening. Being laid up at least forced me into getting a lot of work done - and I'm all finished until the second week of January. I'd have a beer - but the pills prohibit alcohol. I guess I could skip the pills?

Evening. The morning was a sign that I shouldn't left bed. Had to run the girl to work, and halfway back things started spinning slowly. Got to the surgery, walked in holding on to objects - within 5 minutes I was on the floor. Vertigo and an inner ear infection. I've been treated in the past that cleared it up. This time I have pills to manage the sickness but not treat the ear. So no driving, riding or even walking come to it, till it goes. Stupid ear.

Can I change my number please? I was contemplating it being 'billionz', but I think I would like π

There’s a map to help with next year @Hoggs

Morning. That’s it, it isn’t ‘good’. I subscribe to an email from a news group, one of many. Woke up and almost dropped my coffee as I read about a person my age. He was described as, and I quote, “elderly”. HE’S NOT ELDERLY, HE’S THE SAME AGE AS ME, YOU TOSSERS. I unsubscribed in a fit of pique. I plan on spending the day doing youthful things such as forgetting my punctuation chatting shit and death by masturbation

I think we're having fun, I know I am. I've treated myself to a mini bag of BBQ Hula Hoops as an additional reward for winning. Thanks for the awesome hand-drawn graphic, Hoggz.

Better luck next year when the misspelling - and therefore absolute negation - of the word Billions might not cost you dearly. But I am nothing if not humble and magnanimous in glorious victory. Here, have a picture of an expired match voucher. Like Kettering, you were awarded second place in a two horse race.

Some kind of anti-vicar, probably.

Unaccustomed as I am to making public speeches, I shall be delivering this year's acceptance of TMBF's most ultimate of prizes in the form of a mixed media project on display in the entombed cellar under what used to be No.6 George Yard in Whitechapel. While I understand that some of you will be reluctant to break, enter and defile the floor of the soulless building that now occupies the site, I encourage you to make the effort - the period in jail will be worth the spectacle.

More like as not I'll be working. Sunday is my busiest of the week.

Got this one spayed this week. She’s still sulking.

Not a dog issue, that’s an “almost all people are cvnts” issue. Everyone is so damn lazy, self-centred and entitled these days. If I see we’re going to meet anyone while out walking I always pop my pair on leads - and they’re lovely and respond to command. But no one knows that. Given where we live it’s a rarity we ever see anyone. Brother lives in Nottingham. Never puts his whateverpoo on a lead. Really riles me up that does.