dazza_b Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Right im only 18 and have been with this girl for 8 months now, she is my bestfriend, but i don't have any feelings for her.she seems dependent on me, she doesn't really ever go out, i offer and she always turns it down, i mean to go out for a drink and stuff, or a meal and she just always says no.She always brings up that she is scared of losing me, brings this up twice a week atleast, even says she wouldnt ever know what to do without me and how she is scared she would self harm without me.I'm the type of person who doesn't like making someone else unhappy and pretty much put others before myself always.I dont want her hurt, nor unhappy, but for a month or two now, i have felt really unhappy, only feeling happy when a few other girls are talking to me. (my girlfriend hates that these girls talk to me and is dead insecure about it, even though they are all friends).what do i do?, i know i should break up with her, but how?, i dont want to see her cry, upset or even hear she has done something to herself because of it. She has tried bringing up the talk of marrage and kids too. I mean thats fine and all, if im 20 something and have a good income and have been together for a good number of years, but 8 months and i earn very little at the moment due to being the age i am.can someone please shed some light on the situation for me, im hating this so much right now.(sorry for the short novel by the way) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlecat Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Do not ever make yourself unhappy in the name of doing the ' right' thing....be true to yourself and be honest...how she reacts is down to her not you...youhave to come clean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
satnavsatnav Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Tell her the truth there is no easy way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iWannaGoFast Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Kill her.2 birds. One stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza_b Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 thanks for the repliesabout the killing her part, i think i would be just as unhappy in jail being the manwife of someone in cell block d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazW Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 'Accidentally' text her saying 'I've got away for an hour, can't wait to see you' all the hard work is done for you In all seriousness though mate, the amount I changed mentally from 18-21 was pretty huge, chances are you'd grow apart anyway.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogin Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Just be honest with her...To be fair mate, its not going to be nice and she will probably throw a wobbly and end up hating you any way... just get it over and done with. Go for a pint and move on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarlosVonBrum Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 You can't make someone else be happy by making yourself unhappy. They'll work it out and it will all fall apart.I am now 4 months out of a 10 year relationship. I love my ex very much and I can not describe the heartbreak. I simply do not know the words.It started similar to where you are now. I didn't want to hurt this lovely interesting girl just because she was only 98% perfect. And oh boy did she grow on me over the years. But there was always something in me broken, questioning if I was actually happy and my motives for doing... well ANYTHING, really. It doesn't matter if your girlfriend IS a hot French scientist who has been your best friend for 10 years. Once the demon's in your head, it will never go, and it will f**k things up, and you won't know how you felt or why you felt it until it is all gone.*cough* Anyway.You have two options. Be straight now and feel like a bast*rd- but trust a 30 year old- 18 year old girls have a lot of living to do and boys to snog in clubs- She'll be just fine. Cut all ties, don't try to be friends. Doesn't work. Just get her somewhere where she has a good escape route, friends at hand if possible, and be honest. Keep it short. Good luck.Or get ready for the worst two human beings can feel, because one day, it will get you both. Which one is kinder? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza_b Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 Thanks for all the replies, just finding it so difficult to do, I have never done it before and I hate hurting people. An I know the thought in my head keeps saying I should end it as I'm not happy, but I keep feeling what if I'm about to make a mistake. Making everything difficult for me. The main thing that stops me is the whole self harm thing, I don't want to be with her, but I don't want her to do that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiffmasterII Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 You only live once mate, dont waste a second doing something that you dont want to be doing, at 18 you should be out there smashing the shit out of anything that moves! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefly76 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 You need to do what makes you happy. She is insecure and emotionally blackmailing you, and she's trying to control you. Sounds to me like she's very immature, especially with the mention of children and marriage so early.Just try to be nice about it. Don't give her reasons why, It will turn into an argument and she'll just give you the "i'll change" speech. Just say to her that you like her but don't love her and you don't want to see her any more and like Carlos said, don't see each other as friends. It won't work.If you are that worried that she might seriously self harm then talk to her parents. lol @ Riff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiffmasterII Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message! Or let us do her mates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefly76 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message! Or let us do her mates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedevil Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Fine, i'll sleep with her so you have an excuse to break up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza_b Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 oh how your all so kind lol, once its over, who ever wants her can have her. an as far as her friends go, you can have them too, most of them are gay males, enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polecat Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 What you should do is make unreasonable sexual demands on her and then its basicaly a win win .Getting rid of woman is easy its keeping them thats the tricky bit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza_b Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 i may just try that!, may pay off.But thank you to everyone that has posted, it really does help, think it has just verified what i thought all along, i need to just do what my head is telling me to do.gotta try and find a way to do it now(not kill her) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mealexme Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Kill her.2 birds. One stone.actually it would be 0 birds. One bone As for breaking up, dont be a dick about it by making unreasonable demands or doing things to make her break up with you, be honest with her. As it has been said, there is no easy way to do it. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHopester Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Pull a smart wheelie with the lady in question on the back making sure that she comes off in the process, I'm sure that she will be that pissed off with you (assuming she is still alive)that she will be only too happy to dump you, jobs a good un.Of course if you are telling your tale of woe to a Coronors court after the event, don't be telling them it was my idea,OKuntitled.bmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogin Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message! Seriously I did that once to finish a relationship and it kind of back fired! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remy Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 You are far too young to be saddled with a needy girl, you should be out there enjoying life and doing what you want without emotional blackmail. You have admitted that you don't want her, you just feel sorry for her and don't want to hurt her which is understandable, but to be fair to both you and her you need to be up front about it and move on. You can't be held responsible for her actions either!It's all a hard part of growing up, oh I'm so glad not to have to go through all that teenage angst again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 You'll never forgive yourself for not 'smashing her in' when your older, empty your spuds then move on....(only joking) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GARYJL Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message! Seriously I did that once to finish a relationship and it kind of back fired! How ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogin Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message! Seriously I did that once to finish a relationship and it kind of back fired! How ??Well it was suppose to end the relationship, but it turned out my GF was a bit more broad minded and adventurous than I thought! Happy days hey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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