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need help breaking up with someone


dazza_b
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Right im only 18 and have been with this girl for 8 months now, she is my bestfriend, but i don't have any feelings for her.

she seems dependent on me, she doesn't really ever go out, i offer and she always turns it down, i mean to go out for a drink and stuff, or a meal and she just always says no.


She always brings up that she is scared of losing me, brings this up twice a week atleast, even says she wouldnt ever know what to do without me and how she is scared she would self harm without me.


I'm the type of person who doesn't like making someone else unhappy and pretty much put others before myself always.

I dont want her hurt, nor unhappy, but for a month or two now, i have felt really unhappy, only feeling happy when a few other girls are talking to me. (my girlfriend hates that these girls talk to me and is dead insecure about it, even though they are all friends).


what do i do?, i know i should break up with her, but how?, i dont want to see her cry, upset or even hear she has done something to herself because of it. She has tried bringing up the talk of marrage and kids too. I mean thats fine and all, if im 20 something and have a good income and have been together for a good number of years, but 8 months and i earn very little at the moment due to being the age i am.


can someone please shed some light on the situation for me, im hating this so much right now.


(sorry for the short novel by the way)

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'Accidentally' text her saying 'I've got away for an hour, can't wait to see you' all the hard work is done for you :) In all seriousness though mate, the amount I changed mentally from 18-21 was pretty huge, chances are you'd grow apart anyway..

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Just be honest with her...


To be fair mate, its not going to be nice and she will probably throw a wobbly and end up hating you any way... just get it over and done with. Go for a pint and move on!

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You can't make someone else be happy by making yourself unhappy. They'll work it out and it will all fall apart.


I am now 4 months out of a 10 year relationship. I love my ex very much and I can not describe the heartbreak. I simply do not know the words.

It started similar to where you are now. I didn't want to hurt this lovely interesting girl just because she was only 98% perfect. And oh boy did she grow on me over the years. But there was always something in me broken, questioning if I was actually happy and my motives for doing... well ANYTHING, really. It doesn't matter if your girlfriend IS a hot French scientist who has been your best friend for 10 years. Once the demon's in your head, it will never go, and it will f**k things up, and you won't know how you felt or why you felt it until it is all gone.


*cough* Anyway.


You have two options. Be straight now and feel like a bast*rd- but trust a 30 year old- 18 year old girls have a lot of living to do and boys to snog in clubs- She'll be just fine. Cut all ties, don't try to be friends. Doesn't work. Just get her somewhere where she has a good escape route, friends at hand if possible, and be honest. Keep it short. Good luck.


Or get ready for the worst two human beings can feel, because one day, it will get you both. Which one is kinder?

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Thanks for all the replies, just finding it so difficult to do, I have never done it before and I hate hurting people. An I know the thought in my head keeps saying I should end it as I'm not happy, but I keep feeling what if I'm about to make a mistake. Making everything difficult for me. The main thing that stops me is the whole self harm thing, I don't want to be with her, but I don't want her to do that

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You need to do what makes you happy. She is insecure and emotionally blackmailing you, and she's trying to control you. Sounds to me like she's very immature, especially with the mention of children and marriage so early.


Just try to be nice about it. Don't give her reasons why, It will turn into an argument and she'll just give you the "i'll change" speech. Just say to her that you like her but don't love her and you don't want to see her any more and like Carlos said, don't see each other as friends. It won't work.


If you are that worried that she might seriously self harm then talk to her parents.


:cheers:


lol @ Riff

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What you should do is make unreasonable sexual demands on her and then its basicaly a win win .

Getting rid of woman is easy its keeping them thats the tricky bit :cheers:

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i may just try that!, may pay off.


But thank you to everyone that has posted, it really does help, think it has just verified what i thought all along, i need to just do what my head is telling me to do.


gotta try and find a way to do it now(not kill her)

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Kill her.


2 birds. One stone.

actually it would be 0 birds. One bone :(


As for breaking up, dont be a dick about it by making unreasonable demands or doing things to make her break up with you, be honest with her. As it has been said, there is no easy way to do it. Good luck

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Pull a smart wheelie with the lady in question on the back making sure that she comes off in the process, I'm sure that she will be that pissed off with you (assuming she is still alive)that she will be only too happy to dump you, jobs a good un.

Of course if you are telling your tale of woe to a Coronors court after the event, don't be telling them it was my idea,OK

untitled.bmp

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You are far too young to be saddled with a needy girl, you should be out there enjoying life and doing what you want without emotional blackmail. You have admitted that you don't want her, you just feel sorry for her and don't want to hurt her which is understandable, but to be fair to both you and her you need to be up front about it and move on. You can't be held responsible for her actions either!


It's all a hard part of growing up, oh I'm so glad not to have to go through all that teenage angst again!! :?

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Just do her mates and I'm sure she will get the message!

 


Seriously I did that once to finish a relationship and it kind of back fired!

 

How ??

Well it was suppose to end the relationship, but it turned out my GF was a bit more broad minded and adventurous than I thought!


Happy days hey!

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