Facebook culling.

[MarkW]

Despite my best efforts to restrict my FB friends to people who are actually my friends (as opposed to the common practice of friending anyone who interacts with you in any way whatsoever whether you know them or not) a few have slipped through my net and are in need of culling.

I intend to start with the exercise freaks, and specifically anyone who precedes their status updates with ‘BOOM!’, posts nothing but tedious gym updates, refers to ‘smashing’ things instead of merely exercising them, thinks I give a toss about their latest ‘personal best’, and who uses ‘whoop whoop’ to express excitement. This particular abomination popped up on my news feed the other day when I was sitting on the sofa, watching Wheeler Dealers and trying to enjoy a Chocolate Orange:

"BOOM! Smashed abs and pecs at the gym this morning!!! Then a new 5 mile PB!! Whoop whoop!!!"

I can’t help thinking that ‘Unfriend’ hardly seems enough for this sort of offender – napalming would surely be more appropriate, especially as I was balancing said Chocolate Orange on my stomach as I sat there reading it.

Next up will be any adults who think skateboarding is cool (it isn’t and it never was – you look like bellends) and who still talk the way they did when they were malodorous and pimply adolescents. This video caption was from a 40 year old bloke recently:

“Yo G Man! Big ups for popping this sick ollie!”

Seriously, just f*ck off with yourself. And get a job.

Right – let’s do this…

[RantMachine]

Gotta say it, between this and the Cilla stuff, I like your style

[Fozzie]

What a tosser... Pecs are best worked with triceps.

I barely post on facebook, but because of Moo my life is broadcast on there as I'm continually tagged in things.

I guess it's fair enough as that's what it is for although I keep more personal moments reserved for a printed photo album. But people can do certain things that will earn them an unfriend.

If you spiel off nothing but political garbage as if a certain point of view is solid fact, that's a pretty quick way to get me to start winding you up. Same for sharing or posting "like bait", or ranting non stop as if the sun had gone and wasn't coming back

Nothing too bad, some of the silly stuff is even funny to watch, like people who like to always play devils advocate or hate something no one else does. I can't tell if they think it's clever, or if they are trying to get at those in the know, but either way, it's quite a backfire on them in the end.

Prepare yourself for the retribution. I've taken one or two people off my fb list and had a few angry e-mails some months later.

[Mr Fro]

Yeah, props 2 U Mark (whatever the f**k that means...)

Prepare yourself for the retribution. I've taken one or two people off my fb list and had a few angry e-mails some months later.

The net result of this action would still be me not giving a shit.

I've reached the age where my educational associates are pumping out kids. I looked at my FaceBook thing the other day for the first time in months and it was mostly gym bunnies and pictures of people's children with tag lines such as "I love my mummy".

In a word... tedious.

I would also recommend a cull of those with trendy beards or overly tight clothing (unless female).

[Arwen]

I left facebook about 3 years ago. Was fed up with the family/friends politics and the bitching and whining on it.

Those who matter to me know they can find me and contact me via hangouts/email/text/phone/twitter/G+. When I go back home to visit I end up getting bombarded with news that "I've missed cause I'm not on facebook". It is a tad annoying when people assume cause they posted it on facebook that everyone knows, but I can deal with it.

Twitter is much more my thing. Keep everything short and sweet. Ever tried having an argument in 140 characters? It makes you think twice about posting, and consider "Is it really worth it?".

Edited August 24, 2015 by Arwen

[RantMachine]

Yeah, I keep meaning to do a Facebook cull some time soon. There's this weirdo with a cartoon of a Llama or something as his profile picture that keeps sending me pictures, think he's got to go first.

 

The net result of this action would still be me not giving a shit

[onesea]

I had all but stopped using Facebook, until I got the bike.

Very useful it is for keeping up to date with meets gatherings and videos of UK idiot drivers.

Actually posting on it? Private groups occasionly and the odd photo (normally tagged on other people's).

I do make best efforts when ever my x wife messes about with access to join another father's rights group (I am running out).

Games requests, forward this mail or else, the fluffy bunny / animal rights brigade, some of the ignorant campaigners and holier than thou posts do piss me off.

Hence I recently started following the countryside alliance, as a protest against the recent fox hunting sham (where interestingly both sides ended up claiming victory).

Then it's nice to know what they are fighting for at the time..

Sadly you can often spot an unhappy person or relationship in trouble by the FB posts (a marked increase in posts).

Qualifications required to become my fb friend to ask. I tend to let anyone befriend me, mainly cause I do not post anything that is private there.

Plus it's messenger service is very useful multiplatform instead of exchanging emails or phone numbers with people you are not that familiar with...

[maccy]

Add to the list, anyone who takes pictures of their food or drinks on a night out, even worse when one has infiltrated the group and you end up tagged in the f**king picture

[Mr Fro]

Surely if someone who gave a monkeys about you had some news to share, would they not give you a call or text?

[RantMachine]

Surely if someone who gave a monkeys about you had some news to share, would they not give you a call or text?

 

They can't show you 500 pictures of their f*cking baby over the phone! And there's the very real risk that they might have to engage in a two way conversation and listen to things you want to talk about, not just spout their own drivel about how little Tarquin is doing and how they thought he was about to say his first words but instead he vomited everywhere and it looked a bit like a Jackson Pollock and isn't Tarquin talented?

[klingelton]

Surely if someone who gave a monkeys about you had some news to share, would they not give you a call or text?

 

They can't show you 500 pictures of their f*cking baby over the phone! And there's the very real risk that they might have to engage in a two way conversation and listen to things you want to talk about, not just spout their own drivel about how little Tarquin is doing and how they thought he was about to say his first words but instead he vomited everywhere and it looked a bit like a Jackson Pollock and isn't Tarquin talented?

 

This!! I'm so cautious of posting vid's/pics of my tarquin on facebook for this very reason. Sure thing he's my spawn and I love him dearly and worship every gargle that comes from his mouth - but does celia that i went to school with really want to see that?

I'm also very cautious about boasting on facebook - because that's all facebook seems to be. But as with all these social media things - who the hell wants to know what I have to say?!

[RantMachine]

I read something fairly recently that said that studies have shown that the people who post every aspect of the lives on Facebook the most are the ones who are the least satisfied with them! All down to how people share an idealised version of their life where everything is awesome and perfect and just sweep the bad bits under the carpet, creating a self-perpetuating cycle. People post their crap on Facebook, other emotionally vulnerable people see it and feel bad because their life isn't that rosy, they post some crap that makes their life seem awesome to get a few likes and some approval/acknowledgement from their friends, and then other people see that and the process repeats over and over. Worse yet, the people doing the posting are prone to look back on their own stuff and evaluate their life now against their idealised life two years ago, and feel even worse, and feel the need to jazz up their public image even more. Pretty depressing stuff! Makes me glad that I almost never post on there and when I do it's never about my day to day life

[Mr Fro]

I read something fairly recently that said that studies have shown that the people who post every aspect of the lives on Facebook the most are the ones who are the least satisfied with them! All down to how people share an idealised version of their life where everything is awesome and perfect and just sweep the bad bits under the carpet, creating a self-perpetuating cycle. People post their crap on Facebook, other emotionally vulnerable people see it and feel bad because their life isn't that rosy, they post some crap that makes their life seem awesome to get a few likes and some approval/acknowledgement from their friends, and then other people see that and the process repeats over and over. Worse yet, the people doing the posting are prone to look back on their own stuff and evaluate their life now against their idealised life two years ago, and feel even worse, and feel the need to jazz up their public image even more. Pretty depressing stuff!

Shame that innit.

I learned of some of the names people have given their progeny through FaceBook. Two that stick out are Willow and Blake. I'm actually glad that I didn't hear it over the phone as I didn't have to stifle my laughter.

[Arwen]

Surely if someone who gave a monkeys about you had some news to share, would they not give you a call or text?

 

You'd be surprise. But then it could just be my weird family...

[Fozzie]

This is turning into a facebook rant thread

Text and call would cover it, but it allows mass communication, which has its benefits and disadvantages.

Don't read too much into what facebook is about, there are studies showing mothers posting too many pics of their babies are secretly depressed, then there's studies on the people who read these studies showing they want to attach negativity to it to make them feel better about their situation, then there's studies on the people who read studies on the people who read studies showing some people have too much time on their hands

All bollocks.

In any psychology class they'd all be pulled apart for ignoring individual differences. In my household, sister/gf/mother are bubbly people, their base setting seems to be happy. Whereas the blokes me/brother/dad are reserved, generally quite neutral in appearance. So over on facebook the girls are always updating stuff, sharing pictures and so on. The blokes post diddly. Some study will say I'm basically a withdrawn, and depressed person. Whereas in actual fact, you'd have to be acting adversely to your real personality for there to be any truth in that.

Like it or hate it, we are in the growing stages of a communication renaissance, information is flying around at an ever increasing rate. People are knowing more in general about the world than they did before, we just have to work on filtering out the crap

[Tankbag]

BOOM I left arsebook ages ago WHOOP WHOOP

tis useful for private groups though & making programs like Catfish

[Throttled]

I just did a cull of people who I do know, but never socialise with and they are clearly trying to get hundreds of "friends". I ignore request from people I barely know.

[MarkW]

I only joined Facebook about four years ago after my diving buddies gave me a hard time for not being on it. To be fair it did help with planning dive trips, but then I stopped diving when I realised I hated almost everything about it, except the actual being underwater part. Since then it has been pretty handy for organising gigs with the band (or at least it would be if our tool of a guitarist didn't keep double-booking himself).

But I have to agree with the previous comments: it is for the most part a mind-numbingly boring place, full of people who were my mortal enemies at high school, where we spent five years punching each other in the face, who now think that I care which airport departure lounge they're sitting in at this precise moment or how well little Tyler is doing in mixed-infants thuggery.

And what's more, if I had my way the 'living organ donor' register would automatically be populated with anyone who sends me a f*cking Candy Crush Saga request: whenever the NHS needed a lung or a heart they'd just send a van round with a couple of surgeons. May as well go to someone who's actually likely to make proper use of them.

Right. I need alcohol...

[Stu]

I need to have a cull! I don't read most of the shit people post!

I have some mates who are just funny people in person and are the same on Facebook these are the people I like

Posting pics of kids constantly is rather annoying as is share this post and money will come your way! These sorts can just f**k off

People who update their status every few mins get deleted

I don't care if they complain they get told why if they ask and don't get added again

People who add you the blank you in the street make me laugh!

[Guest]

I just un subscribe to people who I don't want to keep reading about. One of my RL mates just ranted and raved about everything and everybody. It was just a load of bile and hatred mixed with random swear words. I just un subscribed to him and I don't give a toss what he says now.

[Fozzie]

I just un subscribe to people who I don't want to keep reading about. One of my RL mates just ranted and raved about everything and everybody. It was just a load of bile and hatred mixed with random swear words. I just un subscribed to him and I don't give a toss what he says now.

 

I've done this with a few people who are nice in person, but a bit OTT on facebook.

Unfollowing them is a bit weird as it's like unfriending without wanting them to know, if it's annoying family fair enough but I prefer just to make them leave on their own terms. As mentioned in my first post, I like to wind up those who use facebook to push a political agenda. Mainly by posting contrary evidence to their claims which usually results in one heck of an emotional explosion and an unfriend. It spares you any awkwardness if you meet in person again as they outright avoid you or if they do approach you, you point out that their opinion earned them a debate, whereas yours earned you their scorn.

When you see people posting anti-biker stuff, anti-cyclist, or digs and jibes aimed at a group you are in etc. Just be as indirect back in response if you do respond or leave it totally. If I dig back at something, usually I'm just having a sigh and trying to say I don't think it's right but does it matter? It's all emotional tosh, so there's no reason to it anyway.

Funny one I'm having lately is with vegans. On my friends list someone does post a lot of vegan related stuff so eventually I disagreed with some bits and showed where I agreed with others, but they are like sith lords. You are either completely with them, or an enemy

[MarkW]

Up to now the only people I've unfriended have been a soppy couple who posted nothing but vomit-inducing declarations of undying love after she got caught having an affair, and a childless vegetarian woman in her early 40s who quit work as a librarian because it was 'too stressful' and who referred to her rabbits as 'her children'. When one of the festering things died the resulting melodrama went on for weeks, and culminated in her seeking advice on how best to treat the surviving bunny. Suffice to say my recipe suggestion was not well received, and resulted in a sanctimonious and humourless lecture on the moral superiority of vegetarianism. Who needs that sh*t? Not me - Zap!

[Phooey]

Like all of us, I have a few who piss me off with their constant whinging ... family usually.

My pet hate, and these do get deleted rather quickly, is the semingly ubiquitous posts like:

Status: That's it, I've had a f**king nuf! they can go to hell!

friend: What's up hun? You ok?

OP: I don't want to talk about it on here.

Hmmm ... why the f**k did you mention it then? Attention seekers.

And the other one that get deleted super quickly is the running f**king commentary on their daily activities. I don't give a f**k that you have just brushed your teeth and now you are eating breakfast before going to M&S to exchange that pair of trousers that your mother bought you but in the wrong size ... and now you are getting off the bus that was super busy and what a miserble bus driver ... I dont give a shit!

But apart from that ... I like facebook

[Tankbag]

I really need to set up ArseBook, set up so when you unfriend someone they get redirected to ArseBook, imagine it'll be like the Australia but instead of criminals we populate it with arses all annoying the hell out of each other

[Tango]

There is some real sh*t on there.......but some real good stuff too.......