F...... Neighbors

[MarkW]

The guy who lived next to us before our current neighbour once knocked on my door in the pouring rain wearing nothing but y-fronts and a shirt and asked if he could borrow a motorbike cover.

A few years ago we had a woman who would sit in the back yard at night in the pitch dark and talk to the dead.

[Six30]

Our neighbour on one side is a mad, needy, stirring alcoholic.......but she keeps her distance from me as she knows I don't play her games.....

Our last conversation a couple of months ago went like:

Neighbour: Do you have someone living in your garage? (Our garage adjoins her house)

Me: Why do you ask?

Neighbour : I can hear voices coming from there

Me: Why the f*ck would I have anyone living in my garage?

Neighbour : Dunno. But I can hear voices coming from there.

Me (opening the doors to a garage full of motorbikes, bits of motorbikes, and a host of other stuff): And just where do you think they would sleep?

Neighbour : (shrugs): But I hear voices that

I lock the garage and walk away!

So I feel your pain regarding neighbours, mate. Hope you get the fence sorted as promised.

 

You got her phone number

[Via]

 

I'm just glad it's been fixed and it is not inducing OCD panic attacks... Honest...

[mikestrivens]

Now needs to painted to match the other bit. Are they going to do that as well?

[Via]

Now needs to painted to match the other bit. Are they going to do that as well?

 

No I'll have to do that no idea why every panel is a different size either, gardens are all flat.

[Grumpy Old Git]

At least you now have a fence!

[Via]

At least you now have a fence!

 

Very true can finally let dog out without worry, let him out last night and just see there cat sitting on the garden before he see it so could grab him and put lead on. Tbh didn't give damn about cat but if it decided to run out of garden he would have chased and goes stone deaf when chasing things

[Stu]

[mention]Via[/mention] Have you cut the grass

[Via]

@Via Have you cut the grass

 

was waiting for you to notice

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

I noticed, I prefer it long

[Via]

I noticed, I prefer it long

 

Yeah can't see how horrible and patchy it is when long

I redid bottom section last year and put down new turf, gone straight back to how it looked before and now can't be bothered

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

I’m no gardening guru but I think you just need a tough grass seed. Only problem with tough grass seed is it generally grows quicker than the weedier stuff and that means more mowing in the summer

[Via]

I’m no gardening guru but I think you just need a tough grass seed. Only problem with tough grass seed is it generally grows quicker than the weedier stuff and that means more mowing in the summer

 

Well I was thinking of going for extra tough grass (concrete) and extending patio to where the old fence now ends.

But I've decided to move, want to get out of Kent now, looking at either reading or hungerford way (prefer hungerford but only 1 train an hour into London so work could be a nightmare). Was hoping to have moved this year but accident delayed that.

Anyway bottom line to that is now f**k it, let the next person worry about it

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

Fair dos. I’m no gardener and only keep it in check because it looks awful left untamed. Why the move? The new neighbours? Will work be flexible on start and finish times? Then there’d be no worries on the train times. Perhaps the gammy leg will be fit for the motorbike by then!

[Bianco2564]

If we are playing crap neighbours top trumps.

A few years back went out on a winters Saturday night around 8.30, on returning passed by a house a few doors up and spotted a body laying on the grass verge.

Got out the car to find a woman sparko drunk, so went to the house she was outside and knocked on the door.

Bloke answered, told him what i'd found and asked for help.

We get back to the woman , he looks down and says "thats my wife".

We pick her up and drag her to the house.

Ever since that, they were known as Mr & Mrs drunkwife.

More recently about 1am i was woken up by a taxi outside and heard voices.

Got up for a nightly pitstop and heard more voices nearby.

Looked out the window and could hear this mumbling but couldnt see anyone,they switch our streetlights off around here.

Looking a bit closer after I put on my glasses,I could see a body laying in the road, two houses up.

Got dressed, went outside to find another neighbour absolutely sh!tfaced.

Hammered on his front door to wake up his Mrs, she obviously thought I was her old feller as she opened the door bollock naked.

Its a decent neighbourhood really

[Grumpy Old Git]

I’m no gardening guru but I think you just need a tough grass seed. Only problem with tough grass seed is it generally grows quicker than the weedier stuff and that means more mowing in the summer

 

Well I was thinking of going for extra tough grass (concrete) and extending patio to where the old fence now ends.

But I've decided to move, want to get out of Kent now, looking at either reading or hungerford way (prefer hungerford but only 1 train an hour into London so work could be a nightmare). Was hoping to have moved this year but accident delayed that.

Anyway bottom line to that is now f**k it, let the next person worry about it

 

bUT.... yOU HAVE JUST GOT THE FENCE SORTED!! (oops - sorry - Caps lock - can't be arsed to retype).

[Fozzie]

she opened the door bollock naked.

 

 

That sentence and choice of wording gave me an unusual mental image I could have done without

[Via]

Just bored of the South East, eventually want to head out to Wales but can't do that yet because of work. Heading that direction can stay where I am but also look at things further west.

Also it is so annoying that anytime I want to go anywhere chances are I need to go around London and absolute nightmare! Taken me 10 hours to get to Wales before (6 hours of that was getting to Watford!)

[Six30]

I noticed, I prefer it long

 

[Mickly]

At a previous address I heard a noise outside at about 1:00am, it was very close to my front downstairs window, looked out of the curtains to see a pair of feet disappearing through one of next doors small windows, I called the police and was surprised by the response (they were swarming all over it in about 5 mins).

Next I had a knock on the door and a copper asked if I knew the person they had apprehended .... it was my Nextdoor neighbour. Very drunk and dressed in just his pants !!

Apparently he have got shit faced, lost his keys and broke into his own house.

He came round the following day and had a good laugh about it.

[Six30]

Mrs was sprawled out on the Settee last night when there was a knock at door .....

When I answered it was the local Peeping Tom and he asked me to draw the curtains !

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

At a previous address I heard a noise outside at about 1:00am, it was very close to my front downstairs window, looked out of the curtains to see a pair of feet disappearing through one of next doors small windows, I called the police and was surprised by the response (they were swarming all over it in about 5 mins).

Next I had a knock on the door and a copper asked if I knew the person they had apprehended .... it was my Nextdoor neighbour. Very drunk and dressed in just his pants !!

Apparently he have got shit faced, lost his keys and broke into his own house.

He came round the following day and had a good laugh about it.

 

That is excellent, doesn’t pay to get pie eyed near you!

[mention]Via[/mention] If you’re bored you’re bored. Wales is great for riding.

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

I noticed, I prefer it long

 

 

Walked right into that one didn’t I

[Bianco2564]

she opened the door bollock naked.

 

 

That sentence and choice of wording gave me an unusual mental image I could have done without

Ha ha, yes bad turn of phrase.

Let's say butt naked.