Mr Fro Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Knock knock.......Get stuffed, I'm not voting for you! Quote
RiffmasterII Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Knock knock.......Get stuffed, I'm not voting for you! You're meant to say "who's there" then I say........The pilot Quote
Six30 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 On leaving hospital with her new baby daughter Kate demanded security was stepped up, not to protect her from the crowd out side, she heard Prince Andrew was on his way. Quote
Mr Fro Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Knock knock.......Get stuffed, I'm not voting for you! You're meant to say "who's there" then I say........The pilotThe pilot who? Quote
RiffmasterII Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 You're meant to say "who's there" then I say........The pilotThe pilot who?It takes a while but you will get it eventually Quote
Mr Fro Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 It takes a while but you will get it eventuallyThis thread is going down fast. Quote
Azen Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 It's like that Manchester United sled I bought ... Never went downhill so fast in my life!!! Quote
Grumpy Old Git Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 You're meant to say "who's there" then I say........The pilotThe pilot who?It takes a while but you will get it eventually??? Quote
RiffmasterII Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 "Knock knock""Who's there?""The pilot"It's a pretty poor sick joke relating that that co-pilot who landed the German plane on the side of the French Alps. Quote
Grumpy Old Git Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 No, No, No Nurse - I said OIL his testicles! Quote
Azen Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 So Michael Farrage quit!!!!Bout time I've been waiting for that c**t to quit farrages!!! Quote
dazziep Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Who is Heather Mills least favourite politician? Nick Clegg. . Quote
Six30 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 "Hello everyone and welcome to the first annual ISIS Suicide Bombers competition!""Can the first contestant please introduce yourself?""Yes hi my names Abdhul, I'm from islamabad and I'm 18, 17, 16, 15......." Quote
puggybear Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 ....or as the ISIS Suicide-Bomb Instructor said;"Gather round,lads-I'm only going to show you this once...." Quote
Fozzie Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 Police identified Jihadi John as a London based computer programmer.Police suspect he may have been trying to recruit others to his cause earlier through use of an app he made for smartphones: "Angry Kurds" Quote
puggybear Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I went to see the house of the inventor of the toothbrush.HOW did I know it was his house? Simple-by the plaque on the wall! Quote
puggybear Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 My granddad died of pneumonia.We did try an old cure and smothered him in goose-grease,but he went downhill really fast after that. Quote
puggybear Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 My other granddad died on his 99th birthday.Which was a shame,as we hadn't finished giving him the bumps. Quote
Steve D Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 My mate went over to Sierra Leone to help out in an Ebloa hospital but he was chucked out on day one. Apparently laughter is NOT the best medicine. Quote
puggybear Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) My Geordie mate reckons he's the best in our gang at flirting.....he's wrong....because when we all jumped into the pool-he sank! Edited June 7, 2015 by puggybear Quote
puggybear Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Meanwhile,my chubby buddy has asked me to sort out some XXL trousers for his wedding suit....I'm learning as I go,but I've made some giant strides.... Quote
Mr Fro Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Ancient Chinese proverb say: Man who takes woman camping has one intent. Quote
mr slike Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 A guy walking his dog next to the canal.Dog falls in and the man panics as he and the dog can't swim, he starts shouting help help I can't swim and my dog can't swim.A German guy walking past jumps in, drags the dog out and starts cpr on the dog.The guy says still panicking oh thanks, thank you so much are you a vet.The German guy shouts. Vet I'm bloody soaking Quote
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