RantMachine

And some rat poison in case they have pets or kids

Let's not forget the Grom Adventure... http://www.hondagrom.net/forums/attachments/18589d1425502887-honda-grom-adventure-model-what-s-your-opinion-grom1.jpg

I seem to have a knack for moving in next door to other bikers Plus there's some utter knob who commutes to the train station (behind my house) every day on a Harley with Screamin Eagles, so the noise from my (very very quiet) bike is a drop in the ocean.

Glad to hear you got it sorted!

If it's any consolation, my BMW is made in Italy with an Austrian engine. Funny how everything except the engine goes wrong all the time, isn't it? I have a genuine interest in some of the Chinese stuff that shows up at Motorcycle Live; having been stung once I'd be unlikely to risk it again, but I find WK to be very interesting. They seem to be doing a pretty good job, all in all - I know that Fred has had an entirely positive experience so far. The WK Trail 400 looks like it could be a really quite nice bike if you swapped out the Chinese rubber, the adventure class could really do with more lightweight 400s. Of course, if KTM can bring out an Adventure 390 then I'm sold

I just wanna see the 2016 models and any daft concepts that are flying around! You never know, might be something interesting

Sucks that this happened to you I don't think I'd ever give money to a man that looked like this... unless I was feeling guilty that day and wasn't already carrying a copy of the big issue Those poor beautiful fairings...

Got home from work, this car was parked in the space next to mine (private allocated parking behind the houses - this car is not the owner of that space)

Pretty sure I don't have any holiday days going spare, so I think I'm going to have to brave the weekend crowds

Two things here. 1. You brother deserves a medal. 2. You need to tell us more about this. I wasn't there to see it happen, a couple of my friends witnessed it and told me the story. I said to him after hearing about it, that's some pretty spectacular aim right there. Must've had his arse pressed right up against the door! I guess maybe he got a turtle head going then aimed that in before pushing the rest out Can you imagine the smear it made when they opened the door in the morning?

Or if there isn't any space to work with at all but there's a pavement beside the road, just mount the kerb then kill the engine and push the bike past all the stationary cars. Be sure to wave to the drivers I did this once when the traffic was stopped in both directions because a school run mum had hit a horse at a fair old speed and smeared it across a large portion of the road. Certainly quicker than the detour I would've had to take if I were in a car! Not that they had any room to turn around anyway, just had to sit there grumbling while waiting for the road to re-open

I bow before your genius.

That made my morning

Oh hey, that could work! If you used a silicone ice cube tray it'd be a bit easier than the baking tray, and you could just shove them through the letter box! Hell, at that point you could just relieve yourself into a super soaker then stick the barrel through the letterbox and fire at will. Maybe mix in a bit of fish oil and sulphur. Dear god, it just keeps on escalating in my mind... ...I finally understand the train of logic that led to my brother taking a shit through the letterbox of the local Conservative Party HQ

Piss into a jug, pour it into a baking tray (carefully) and stick the baking tray in the freezer (equally carefully). Once it's frozen into a solid slab of piss, turn it out of the tray and post it under her door at night time. Come the morning, zero evidence but a thoroughly questionable smell coming from the carpet Repeat a couple of days after you see a carpet delivery van outside her house.

And if in doubt, remember that engine braking and a decent set of boots will do the job of front and rear brakes in a pinch

A pirate and a sailor are standing on a pier. The sailor says "what's with that wooden wheel on your crotch?" Pirate replies "Arrr, It drives me nuts".

Go one further, SORN the van and wire a booby trap to the ignition so that any scrote trying to nick the whole lot gets a nasty surprise when they try to hotwire the van Or maybe some kind of punji stake style trap built into the drivers seat that's triggered by the hand brake being released...

Oh god this My parents do this all the damn time for the simplest stuff.

I'm always suspicious that McAfee routinely "finds" viruses that never actually existed to scare people into paying for a continued subscription. Keep telling my parents to stop paying for it but they don't listen

I'm with Steve on this one. Been trying to convince Crystal that we should do this but no luck yet

Ok, now I've actually read you post instead of just responding based on experience alone - yes, still being childish

Yes.

Lemme see lemme see