I have to vote for me - and this could be my nomination for toty when it comes around again. Went to fill up today, and as always, put the petrol cap on the pump with the keys in. Filled up with a whopping £12 worth, and couldn't get the cap back on. In a bit of a faff/panic, I decided it would be easier to take the bunch of keys out and try again, as the keyring was getting caught up. Key wouldn't release. By now, I'm feeling the pressure of the car waiting behind me, the bored stare of the security guy in the shop doorway and general panic of looking a fool - which I should be used to by now. I push the bike over to the parking spaces for the shop, and try again to get the keys out of the petrol cap, to make it easier to locate on the tank with gloves on. Bloody things still wouldn't budge. I'm now so fixated on trying to remove the keys from the tank so much, that I phone my daughter to bring my toolbox down to the petrol garage, (it's quite local). 20 minutes later, I decide to end my embarrassment in front of the bemused security guy, two cashiers and the guy opposite who has stopped cutting his grass just to watch my frustrations. I gave up trying to bust my key out of the cap, and pushed the bike in to the community centre car park next door. Realising the steering lock wasn't on, the Basildon boy in me took over. I decided to cut my losses, and hot wire the thing, and sort it out at home. Local plod had already passed by, but were too interested in getting their ginsters to worry about me, so off comes the front fairing / headlight assembly. Jammed my daughters hairclip across the two ignition contacts, replaced the front end with the engine running. Packed the tools back in to my daughters car and conscious that the tank was full, decided to rest the cap loosely in the hole to try and prevent spillage. The bloody thing fell straight in to place, and the stupid fooking key almost fell out, it was that simple. How was I to know the key is held captive in the cap? It gets worse ... I threw everything in the back box, including the bunch of keys, as the bike was running with the hairclip in place. Riding home, everything bounced out of the box that I hadn't locked, into the road. This includes my keys that my daughter promptly ran over ...