Ronnie

Less than pleasant ? Jesus, it's absolutely bloody awful !! I've known strong men to seriously consider suicide.

My wife never whines either.

I assume you got in touch with this person from one of those smart arse phone apps. Well, each to his own but that app sounds rather risky. The one I use puts you in touch with nice ladies who are quite happy to tie you up with silk ribbons and whip you a bit with feather dusters. Now that's what I call fun and games !

I got a Sous Vide. Does that count ?

Oh come on ! that's only the start of the story. How did it move and where to and did you get it back ? Or is there something about the rest of this that needn't be published ?

I always remember my pal in the middle of Scottish winters in the seventies stressing just how important correct layering was. Pair of Y fronts, a string vest, a pair of long johns, thin thermal socks then long woollen ones, a long sleeved thermal jumper topped by an ex-naval woollen polo neck, a pair of leather breeks and a zip up leather jacket all encased in a full Belstaff top and bottom ensemble. Knee length leather boots, various scarfs, merino wool balaclavas and at least two layers of gloves finished him off. But it was the look in his eyes as he was waddling out the door when he announced " Oh Jesus ! I'm needing a jobby !"

Errol Flynn the film actor and Freddy Mercury the singer in some popular music group were great exponents of tight trousers.

Not at all, if you think that enhances your masculinity you're in for an uncomfortable awakening.

Indeed. They'll all drop you in the shit if they feel like it.

Drawer handles, fair enough. But Furnaces ?

Christ ! you could have somebody's eye out with that !

Are there no shops where you're going ?

At my age I'm not particularly bothered about new forms of transport. I'm more concerned about the rising costs of cremation. Getting access to an official hole in the ground thing is astronomical but I'm sure Greta the Goblin will soon be homing in on cremations. I can see a rise in clandestine burials at sea or discrete dumpings in a deep ditch. My wife will just say I went out one morning and never came back.

Anybody watch Harry's Garage on You Tube ? Very interesting video about JCB's development of hydrogen powered internal combustion engines. Some very good points made. Like why are politicians starting the lemmings race to the cliff with electric vehicles ? Why were real engineers not consulted ? Apparently BMW are scaling back electric car development and concentrating on hydrogen power. As are Toyota. Down the road from us here in France there's a huge plant built just to make hydrogen. They wouldn't be making it it they didn't have a market for it.

Nobody's mentioned electric motorcycles ?

A Sequoia ? Isn't that one of those bloody things that grow to over 100meters in California ? You could climb up it and steal the goose from the giant...

Nothing wrong with that ! Mony a mickle maks a muckle !

I think they should ban wars. Not much chance of that though, is there ? Too much money to be made....

So what would happen if you got Sicily involved in a land war in Asia ?

Why not ?

Apparently it's just a bunch of lads in a Transit van. Three or four of them just lift it into the back of the van and remove all the locking devices in a shed at their leisure. Gone in seconds !

Some people recommend bouts of vigorous sex for a good nights sleep. Others swear by large doses of illegal stupifiants. Personally, I find going through some of the topics on here a sure cure for sleeplessness !

From Roscoff half a day's riding (4 hours) will get you to Nantes. No toll roads in Brittany ! From Nantes 5-6 hours on toll roads will get you to Pau. The tolls are not that bad for motos and you'll be riding at a steady speed, 110kph is ideal, so fuel consumption will be good. Fill up at a supermarket before you start and use your satnav to find supermarkets near the Autoroute for when you need to fill up. Riding the Pyrenees west to east is a great buzz either on the French side or the Spanish side, or do like me and ride both ! As for accommodation, I use a smartarse phone or a tablet in the hotel, with decent wi fi of course, and pick out the next night's stop. And just don't ride like a hooligan, pay attention to the road signs, and you won't need to worry about speed cameras.

I've no experience of Tom-Tom but my Garmins have "Dangerous Road Section Ahead" which is actually a warning that there is a speed camera lurking up the road. Speed cameras have proliferated in France over the last 10 years but they do usually put up big sort of billboards to let you know they're there.

There have been hardly any reports of UFO's for the last 15 years. Why ? Everybody young enough to look skyward have their eyes glued to a bloody phone !