Driving Lessons etc

[Davidtav]

I really need some advice. I think I’ve fallen out with my daughter. This is the situation:

My first daughter is very capable and passed her test at 18. I helped her a lot. There wasn’t any problem 

 

Second daughter is highly intelligent. But lacking a bit of common sense. We didn’t encourage her aged about 17 or so. But now she is over 30 and in a responsible job

 

So I said that I would help her get through the test. And in fact give her my car. I have a Mini Cooper. … and my daughter has had over 30 lessons. Although with different instructors 

 

it was awful. She didn’t seem to understand what side of the road to drive on. Almost ended up in a multiple collision before I took over. 
 

I seem to have completely fallen out with my daughter over this. I actually think I’m right. I am saying not everyone is cut out for driving. I would be interested in what you guys think?

[Guest]

The issue may be you both think you are right.  She will need a good instructor, suited to her style of learning, and time. You may not be the best person to help her. My suggestion is separate yourself and support her as she learns. 

Of course I don't have kids but did look after some chickens and that's what I'd do for them. 

[Bianco2564]

Sounds like she needs some more professional driver training to master the basics before you take her out for any practice.

The learner car will have dual controls should the need arise to take over ,which sounds likely.

Offer to help pay for extra lessons and ask her instructor to tell you when she is ready to go out with you in your car

 

I used to take my eldest daughter out for practice lessons in between her proper driving lessons, the youngest daughter just took extra lessons. Both passed first time aged 18.

[S-Westerly]

I think many parents are the worst possible people to teach their own kids to drive and I put myself firmly in that category. My eldest took about 5 attempts to pass but still managed it before she was 18. My youngest passed within 3 months of his 17th birthday at the first attempt. Neither of them got lessons from me buti did pay for all the lessons etc.

[Davidtav]

I agree with most of these posts. I did know that my daughter was finding it hard to learn. She did tell me recently that her most recent instructor abandoned her 2 miles from home and was screaming that she was dangerous. I didn’t take enough notice of that

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

At this stage of things you need to tackle the emotional baggage and preconceptions that will be present. If a professional ended up acting in the manner described then I'd question their conduct as that's not safe. But it will have affected your daughter.

 

Some people just don't have the aptitude and need specialist coaching. 

 

One of our daughter had a total block about roundabouts and her instructor couldn't figure out how to tackle it. I knew her better so we spent hours going round areas with multiple roundabouts until she got it. 

 

Teaching your own kids to drive is difficult and not everyone has the aptitude for it either.

 

I'd recommend seeking specialist advice.

[skyrider]

worst thing to do family teaching family to drive get a professional instructor it saves all the upset you are now living through

[Six30]

get her a bus pass , she sounds a disaster....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

any pics ?

[Akay17]

As a daughter who fell out with her mum many times when learning to drive I can completely sympathise with your situation. I was a very nervous driver while learning, although I knew I had to do it, as the public transport where I stay is horrific. I started lessons at 17, and passed just before 18th birthday, however it was nearly a fail due to a dodgy manoeuvre reverse parking but examiner must’ve been in a good mood to pass me. Half way through practicing my mum and dad chipped in and bought me a petrol 1.0 Peugeot 206 as first car. My mum insured it and added me as named driver so any time we went out I drove and she supervised. My lessons were regularly cancelled/ rescheduled due to various reasons, only having about 15-20 over the year, so I had to get out practicing as much as I could, however the times with my mum often resulted in arguments. She’d try tell me her way, I’d tell her she’s wrong, we’d bicker and scream, several times I got out car to walk. It was horrendous, the only reason I kept going was my determination to be able to drive. My test was January and my mum agreed to pay my insurance for the year, only reason being was she thought I would fail because I was that bad next to her. Proving everyone wrong was amazing. Try not be too hard on her, she will do it when/if she wants, she needs to have her head in it first