well i was pootling along, doing about 90mph, going the wrong way down a motorway, in the dark with my black visor, with tinted pinlock insert, on my 50cc scooter with a 1000cc big bore kit and custom nitrous kit i imported from the USA. My homemade HID kit was illuminating the way, but might have been blinding all the oncoming drivers. When the cops eventually caught up with me, they said they'd been following me for at least three hours, and even the police helicopter had ran out of fuel whilst trying to catch me. They were about to call in a military air strike but i stopped just in time. I apologized for not stopping sooner and pointed out that i'd removed the mirrors to make the bike look more bad-ass. Lucky one of the coppers was a biker, and he agreed it looked cool. I offered him a cup of tea, but as i pulled my thermos flask out of my rucksack, two large bags of cocaine and a loaded assault rifle that i was carrying for a columbian drug dealer mate of mine, dropped out of my bag and onto the floor. I must have left the safety catch off, because as the riffle hit the ground, it let off a shot, taking out the non-biker cop's left testicle. A that point i thought i might be in a spot of trouble, but the cop just happened to catch a glimpse of the remains of my L-plate that had been previously ripped off when i hit a speed bump outside a school at about 130mph and jumped over the lollipop lady. The L-late was pecked off in midair by a passing flock of canadian geese - apparently they like the red as it looks like a worm (who knew?) But the biker cops was cool - he just gave me ticket for littering, and advised me to wear a helmet next time. He also asked that in the future i ride the correct way down the motorway, and refrain from hitting the nitrous button whilst filtering through stationary traffic. He also put me in touch with his brother who's some rich film director. He was auditioning for a part in his new biker movie and told me to pop over to his place to do an audition.. Anyway, one thing led to another, i'm now the star of his new blockbuster movie, and i'm sending this message from his private space station orbiting the moon, whilst sniffing cocaine off naked supermodels (difficult in zero gravity), and we're going alien hunting on the darkside of the moon in the morning, where apparently Space Mammoths roam the lunar plains, and are responsible for the craters (they have very big feet). See not all cops are bad, and its funny how things work out... just Imagine what would have happened if i hadn't had my L-plates on??