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What batshit crazy things have you done recently?


XmisterIS
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I got the Captain Nut-nut prize on Monday.


Our baby daughter had to go to hospital for a check-up (they reckon she's inherited my asthma and full set of allergies). We were there for 6 hours and we took her favourite toy, which is a Pooh Bear that takes batteries and sings cheerful songs. It's cute and funny for 15 minutes. For 6 hours straight, not so much.


After 4 hours of listening to a singing pooh bear, I had gone beyond demented, so I volunteered to explore the hospital in search of lunch. I got into what I thought was an empty lift and when the doors had closed, I shouted in exasperation, "f**k pooh bear, f**k Eeyore, bugger Piglet, and you can shove Owl up your arse!"


I heard fidgeting behind me and turned round to see a couple of old folks who had obviously snuck in unnoticed behind me, and were staring at me like a pair of owls.


We continued down to C level as if nothing had happened. All very British and reserved. They then got out as fast as they could!

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Hahaha


Not done anything recently, but once encountered an arguing married couple. The sort who screamed at each other and were mentally divorced looooooong ago. He is going on about the way he did something, she is calling him thoughtless.


The bloke turns to me and starts to angrily relay what has happened. He doesn't like her mother because she doesn't like him, and when said mother made a joke about her not being on the Earth much longer he chuckled as he thought she was looking to make humour of a bleak situation. The wife took exception to this...


He asks me what I think and I don't want to get involved, I put on a thick polish accent and say "I speak bad English" then point as if to compensate for poor language skills saying "you two" then made the time out gesture with my hands.


This only made things worse as the wife then says she could tell just looking at me I'm polish (I'm a manc), and how thoughtless he is for not thinking before he acted yet again. As the lift arrives at its destination I hop out leaving the two of them. With nothing better to say I just turn back as the doors close and in my best Ron Burgundy voice say "stay classy".


I have no idea what they must have thought, but I bet it ground that argument to a halt. I have no idea why in a panic I just did that rather than just say "leave me out of this". A bat shit crazy moment that was terrifying at the time but quite funny in hindsight.

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Just cancelled a weeks holiday in Sharma.


Call me soft but didn't fancy sitting on a sun lounger with the kids waiting for something kicking off.

 



Don't blame you ..I wouldn't go to any Muslim country out of choice .

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I concluded that him and my brother must secretly have been lovers and that's the look of a man who is heartbroken to have to arrest him.

My brother did not appreciate this suggestion.

 




Was thst pic taken just after his barber said all finished sir ...

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