New partner not supportive

[Picollus]

I don't know any biker women 22 years younger than me who would be gullible enough to... well, yaknow

 

Your not too far from Dorset.......

 

Ahaha but TE isn't gullible

Besides, I suspect my current paramour may not appreciate that thought!

[TunnelEyes]

Still currently not getting what I'm doing wrong? I try my hardest to be helpful and supportive and loving and everybody I meet seems to just instantly get bored of me or treat me like dirt? Why is it so hard to go, hey yeah, you love your biking go you! You wanna do your license instead of get a car? Go you! I literally ask for nothing yet get knocked all the time? We do weightlifting, knocks my form (even though trainer says it's fine) knocks my riding, even though I'd like to think it's fairly good considering three months ago I'd sit in my room and cry at the thought of being on a bike. Shake with fear. Try not to throw up. I want to go to university? Apparently I'm wasting my time.

Why is every single person I meet like this? Always? Nobody just wants good vibes and mutual appreciation anymore x( everyone just tries to knock you down. I don't even understand why. Not for any ulterior breeding motive so to speak, that's also evident. Why walk into someone's life who's healing from so much shite just to be the same as everyone else immediately.

My bikes in very poor condition, had nearly a month and a half signed off work for poor mental health caused by abuse. Had to quit my job, find one with very few hours and am scraping the pennies together to try and keep her going and afford my tests asap because I need it so badly. I can't even enjoy riding my bike ride now because the grating noise in my gearbox is so loud and it just needs so much TLC which I can't afford.

Uhhh sorry all

[TunnelEyes]

I don't know any biker women 22 years younger than me who would be gullible enough to... well, yaknow

 

Your not too far from Dorset.......

 

Ahaha but TE isn't gullible

Besides, I suspect my current paramour may not appreciate that thought!

 

I'M TAKING THE COMPLIMENT!

[Picollus]

Still currently not getting what I'm doing wrong? I try my hardest to be helpful and supportive and loving and everybody I meet seems to just instantly get bored of me or treat me like dirt? Why is it so hard to go, hey yeah, you love your biking go you! You wanna do your license instead of get a car? Go you! I literally ask for nothing yet get knocked all the time? We do weightlifting, knocks my form (even though trainer says it's fine) knocks my riding, even though I'd like to think it's fairly good considering three months ago I'd sit in my room and cry at the thought of being on a bike. Shake with fear. Try not to throw up. I want to go to university? Apparently I'm wasting my time.

Why is every single person I meet like this? Always? Nobody just wants good vibes and mutual appreciation anymore x( everyone just tries to knock you down. I don't even understand why. Not for any ulterior breeding motive so to speak, that's also evident. Why walk into someone's life who's healing from so much shite just to be the same as everyone else immediately.

My bikes in very poor condition, had nearly a month and a half signed off work for poor mental health caused by abuse. Had to quit my job, find one with very few hours and am scraping the pennies together to try and keep her going and afford my tests asap because I need it so badly. I can't even enjoy riding my bike ride now because the grating noise in my gearbox is so loud and it just needs so much TLC which I can't afford.

Uhhh sorry all

 

I do weightlifting, a lot. I have worked out with a number of professionals including fitness models and people sponsored by USN and grenade and the like. If a professional trainer says your form is correct, that is the person to believe.

The bike thing I see irritating, the university thing is worrying and the fact that he's even doing it when being contradicted by a professional independent observer indicats to me that you thoroughly need to re-assess this situation urgently.

I'm sorry things are tough for you right now and I only need to think back a short while for when I was emotionally reaching out desperately to anyone that'd have me, seeking everything from validation to comfort. But this is not healthy. Given your past mental health issues, this is the last type of person you need in your life. Sorry to be so blunt but I've been there myself in the relatively recent past and I am speaking from very painful and hard won experience.

If you have a counsellor, talk to them as soon as you are able. If you don't have one, PM me and I can put you in touch with a number of national charities who work to help people find the right kind of help.

[TunnelEyes]

I do weightlifting, a lot. I have worked out with a number of professionals including fitness models and people sponsored by USN and grenade and the like. If a professional trainer says your form is correct, that is the person to believe.

The bike thing I see irritating, the university thing is worrying and the fact that he's even doing it when being contradicted by a professional independent observer indicats to me that you thoroughly need to re-assess this situation urgently.

I'm sorry things are tough for you right now and I only need to think back a short while for when I was emotionally reaching out desperately to anyone that'd have me, seeking everything from validation to comfort. But this is not healthy. Given your past mental health issues, this is the last type of person you need in your life. Sorry to be so blunt but I've been there myself in the relatively recent past and I am speaking from very painful and hard won experience.

If you have a counsellor, talk to them as soon as you are able. If you don't have one, PM me and I can put you in touch with a number of national charities who work to help people find the right kind of help.

 

Just sucks to end up here again! Awaiting a psychotherapist appt. on the 13th, just a length process that leaves you to float in the meantime. My bike has been my lifeline and worrying about her is awful

[Picollus]

That's good to hear you don't have too long left to wait.

In the meantime... just keep swimming... swimming... swimming...

[Joe85]

Tell him to foxtrot oscar.

Plenty of time to be miserable in life. Not nearly enough to be happy.

[TunnelEyes]

Sorry for ranting here :')

One day I'll finish a psych. lecture and f**k off for a ride on my nice white 2016 ER6n <3 without anyone pissing on my parade, look damn fine in my leathers and he can enjoy the "practicalities" of his car and being single

[Picollus]

Don't talk about looking fine in your leathers, we'll never be able to prise six away from your messages....!

[TunnelEyes]

Don't talk about looking fine in your leathers, we'll never be able to prise six away from your messages....!

 

Not a reflection on myself, only the leathers

[Picollus]

Possibly worse...

[Hoggs]

Still currently not getting what I'm doing wrong? I try my hardest to be helpful and supportive and loving

 

trying to hard to please people is something that - unfortunately - certain people spot and take advantage of. work on making yourself happy, sod the emotional sponges

[Guest]

You're young but you need to learn that someone making constant belittling comments and criticising something, anything, like that in a new (!) relationship should be an immediate red flag.

It doesn't matter if it's about your bike, your music, your clothes, your taste in food, your cooking, whatever. It's not acceptable and demonstrates a need to control and a strong issue relating to their self confidence. Tread very f**king carefully kiddo. I'm serious. This isn't about bikes, which I suspect you already know.

 

^^^^This

Dump him and quick.

[MR_W]

Wow he sounds like a cunning stunt. Ditch him.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

 

[TunnelEyes]

I feel like more than anything,stupid for offering a chance I wasn't in the position to give?

[Joeman]

Post him a link to this thread. That's the big test...

Oh and tell the weightlifting instructor that your BF says he's talking sh1t and doesnt know what hes talking about.. I can imagine the weightlifting instructor won't take too kindly to being criticized

In all seriousness, next time he makes controlling comments just say to him "stop trying to control me". After saying it a few times he will either take the hint, or get worse... Then you'll know what to to.

[Six30]

Sorry for ranting here :')

One day I'll finish a psych. lecture and f**k off for a ride on my nice white 2016 ER6n <3 without anyone pissing on my parade, look damn fine in my leathers and he can enjoy the "practicalities" of his car and being single

 

I hope that day comes very soon for you

Any pics

[Lateralus]

I don't have anything new to add, other than another voice in support of you, and all that's been said by everyone else already. Life's too short to put up with that kind of crap.

[madcow87]

I don't have anything new to add, other than another voice in support of you, and all that's been said by everyone else already. Life's too short to put up with that kind of crap.

 

This ^^ to be perfectly honest. I don't have anything to add that no one hasn't said already and I agree with pretty much everything that the others have said.

Just know that there are normal people out there that will just want to support you and not be a vindictive a***hole, some men out there are just idiots wanting to have fun. Just make sure you don't waste time messing with the idiots out there

[Lateralus]

I do have one thing to add: I've just spent the last 15 minutes humming this to myself, and it took me a moment to realise it was because of reading this!

https://youtu.be/-Y4K0J3fPmw

[Guest]

More support here. In a relationship you're meant to help each other to deal with all the people who want to cock things up for you, hes not meant to be one of the cocks. You don't need it. You need nice bikes, nice people and good times.

[TunnelEyes]

Post him a link to this thread. That's the big test...

Oh and tell the weightlifting instructor that your BF says he's talking sh1t and doesnt know what hes talking about.. I can imagine the weightlifting instructor won't take too kindly to being criticized

In all seriousness, next time he makes controlling comments just say to him "stop trying to control me". After saying it a few times he will either take the hint, or get worse... Then you'll know what to to.

 

I did rat him out to the PT

" Your range of motion is arguably too far due to hypermobilty and horse riding so often I'm holding you back. If you don't do well, I will tell you don't worry Legs are really shaping up S*****! Doing incredibly well in both aesthetics and strength! Your strength is always going up, your getting leaner and your skin quality looks great. "

Mwhahaha. >

[TunnelEyes]

The support from y'all actually means a lot right now, thank you! I wonder if three weeks is enough to cram for my theory. My 21st is December and I'm determined to have my A2 in time for my birthday so I can ask for bike stuff xD

[Westbeef]

A week is enough to get your theory revised get the app with hazard perception videos on too

[Oasis]

There's probably a few or more fellas on this forum wishing they where 20 years younger, lived within a decent twisty quiet road from you and single right now.