Cafe Ramblings

[Stu]

I was out on the bike on Sunday and while sat at a local biker cafe tucking in to my full english I was listen to a couple of youngish lads yapping away about bikes

 

When one of them came out with a classic! 

 

Have you seen the new ZX6? I'm thinking of getting one it's got 1bhp more than yours so I will be faster 

 

All while he was twice the size of his mate  

 

anyone got any other similar stories to make us chuckle? 

 

I have heard too many to remember  

[Mickly]

Reminds me of a lad telling his mate how his bike would be a rocket shop once he got the heads gas flowed & a Yoshi exhaust fitted … I then watched him walk out to the car park and sling his leg over a CX500

[Tinkicker]

Squires cafe one evening.  Not my favourite spot, since it moved after the old milk bar closed.  Too smooth, plastic and pre packaged for my taste, I like to be able to smell the old 1950s rockers brillcreme oozing from the woodwork.  Whats the word I am seeking?  Contemporary?  Slick?

 

Anyways, I was invited on a ride out to Squires with a couple of instructors one Wednesday evening and was wandering across the car park for a coffee when we spotted a familar looking late 40s or so bald head and face.  It was clad in one piece leathers complete with sliders everywhere you could fit a slider, and stood next to a new fireblade.

 

We approached from slightly behind and listened.  He was having it large with a bunch of younger guys about getting the kneee down and the best technique ect.

We listened for a minute or so until the lads attentions were looking more our way and thought he would notice us stood there pretty quickly.

 

Andy, one of the DAS instructors stepped forward...  "Hiya Steve, congrats on passing your test last week, it was pretty touch and go, but you made it in the end.  Sorry I couldn't finish your course, I was in Spain.  I knew you would be in good hands with Brian.

 

Brian stepped forward, hand outstretched. " Hiya Steve, we got there in the end eh"?

 

I swear if you put a newspaper within six inches of his face, it would have ignited with the heat coming from it.  Typical BMBH type that got into biking as a fashion statement in the late 90s.

 

 

 

 

Edited February 1, 2024 by Tinkicker

[S-Westerly]

13 minutes ago, Tinkicker said:

Squires cafe one evening.  Not my favourite spot, since it moved after the old milk bar closed.  Too smooth, plastic and pre packaged for my taste, I like to be able to smell the old 1950s rockers brillcreme oozing from the woodwork.  Whats the word I am seeking?  Contemporary?  Slick?

 

Anyways, I was invited on a ride out to Squires with a couple of instructors one Wednesday evening and was wandering across the car park for a coffee when we spotted a familar looking late 40s or so bald head and face.  It was clad in one piece leathers complete with sliders everywhere you could fit a slider, and stood next to a new fireblade.

 

We approached from slightly behind and listened.  He was having it large with a bunch of younger guys about getting the kneee down and the best technique ect.

We listened for a minute or so until the lads attentions were looking more our way and thought he would notice us stood there pretty quickly.

 

Andy, one of the DAS instructors stepped forward...  "Hiya Steve, congrats on passing your test last week, it was pretty touch and go, but you made it in the end.  Sorry I couldn't finish your course, I was in Spain.  I knew you would be in good hands with Brian.

 

Brian stepped forward, hand outstretched. " Hiya Steve, we got there in the end eh"?

 

I swear if you put a newspaper within six inches of his face, it would have ignited with the heat coming from it.  Typical BMBH type that got into biking as a fashion statement in the late 90s.

 

 

 

 

Oooh, cruel but funny.

[Tinkicker]

Very satisfying.  The late 90s Sales Manager type who drove a company BMW, the kids had left the nest and he bought a bike because his mates had them.

 

BMBHs we called em.  Big Mouth, Bald/shaved Head.  They drove 50,000 miles a year and thought they knew it all.  The really arrogant ones were nicknamed "statistics" because they were likely to become one in the ROSPA newsletter.

 

The bloke in question was a statistic.  Rode a bike like he drove his car.. Staring at the rear numberplate of the car in front.  No forward planning skills whatsoever, but by god did he know his stuff.  Nothing was new to him.  Seen it all, done it all.

[S-Westerly]

43 minutes ago, Tinkicker said:

Very satisfying.  The late 90s Sales Manager type who drove a company BMW, the kids had left the nest and he bought a bike because his mates had them.

 

BMBHs we called em.  Big Mouth, Bald/shaved Head.  They drove 50,000 miles a year and thought they knew it all.  The really arrogant ones were nicknamed "statistics" because they were likely to become one in the ROSPA newsletter.

 

The bloke in question was a statistic.  Rode a bike like he drove his car.. Staring at the rear numberplate of the car in front.  No forward planning skills whatsoever, but by god did he know his stuff.  Nothing was new to him.  Seen it all, done it all.

Met a few like that not just on bikes but in all walks of life.

 

[rob m]

They always wear leathers that are a size too small and have a bum bag too. 
 

I live about 2 miles from Boxhill which is usually rammed on a Sunday. There’s loads of them in there. They take their sports bike out for a couple of hours then stand by it giving it ‘billy big bollocks’ to whoever can tolerate it.

 

Last time I went was about 4 years ago and that was to meet a mate before riding to Wales. Couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Edited February 2, 2024 by rob m

[Trooper74]

Sorry .. it doesn’t matter how many sliders, when they passed their test or what stories they tell … 

At least they’re riding …

 

I hear so many oldies almost boasting about how early they put their bikes away for the winter … Many of us, old and young, ride all year …. It is the way ………

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

Most of the time I grumble about having to work weekends.  But there is major advantage. My day off is usually midweek when the roads are free from the power rangers and there is better class of clientèle in the cafes. 

[S-Westerly]

Couldn't agree more.  Try and avoid the weekend if I can and when I'm on leave that is obviously pretty damned easy.

[Stu]

I do miss my weekday rides! 

 

Certainly less crap being spouted at the cafes

[RideWithStyles]

13 hours ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said:

Most of the time I grumble about having to work weekends.  But there is major advantage. My day off is usually midweek when the roads are free from the power rangers and there is better class of clientèle in the cafes. 

Lucky you actually