Westbeef Posted January 19, 2018 Posted January 19, 2018 Since my wife was diagnosed with Parkinson’s her handjobs have improved tremendously. Quote
Westbeef Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I took my girlfriend on holiday a few years ago.She was lying in a hotel bed in Portugal and the window was wide open, quite easy actually. Quote
Stu Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 I think this should have its own thread to be honest https://www.facebook.com/bbctwo/videos/1401445589964605/ Quote
Six30 Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Ikea founder Ingvar Kamprad dies in Sweden aged 91. I've sent the family a cake. Quote
Joeman Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 I came home from the pub 4 hours late last night."Where the f**k have you been?" screamed my wife.I said, "I've been playing poker with some blokes.""Playing poker?" she repeated. "Well, you can pack your bags and go!""So can you," I said. "This isn't our house anymore!" Quote
Westbeef Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 Two cavemen are talking, one says, "I'm going to teach my woman to speak." The other one says, "What harm can it do." Quote
Baldrick Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 After several attempts, I've finally had sex with my girlfriend on the back of a motorcycle.It was a Triumph Quote
Stu Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 Which spice girl can hold the most petrol?Geri can. Quote
Six30 Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 Just found out I'm colour blind Well that came right out of the yellow . Quote
mikestrivens Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 Which spice girl can hold the most petrol?Geri can. That reminds me of a joke I heard a while back.What do you call 5 dogs with no balls.The Spice Girls Quote
Joeman Posted February 7, 2018 Posted February 7, 2018 I wonder what the insurance premium was on that Tesla.Insurer: So where is the vehicle parked overnight?Elon: An asteroid field away from my home#SpaceX #FalconHeavy Quote
Baldrick Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 Horse is in the pub having a few when spots a donkey in the corner so he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living"horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter",Donkey says "I worked with the kids on Blackpool beach" ,then he asks "did you win anything" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”, they arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks,"I need to impress this guy he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace, the horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall",donkey replies " that's me when I played for Juventus. Quote
Six30 Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Since my wife was diagnosed with Parkinson’s her handjobs have improved tremendously. Yeh but her cup of tea making skills are now a disaster . Quote
JRH Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 There was a young barmaid from SaleOn her breasts she wrote the price of her aleAnd on her behind (for the sake of the blind)Was the same information, in Braille. Quote
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