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Posted

FB_IMG_1571151239931~2.jpg

Stealing this for my next team meeting.


And for mine...


What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Posted

£12 for a three course roast dinner that feeds four. That's why mums go to Iceland ...

£5 for an 18 year old girl bouncing on your cock all day. That's why dads go to Thailand!

Posted

We just had a chinese takeaway to night it was all tipped in to one plastic carrier bag .


I said WTF is this ...


The takeaway owner said !! We not allowed to put chinese in to containers anymore !!

..

Posted

A pervert goes into a brothel and says ...

"I'm really kinky , how much for complete and total humiliation ?"


The Madame replies " £5000 "


" what do I get for that "


" An 833 Sportster , an open face lid , and a pair of leather chaps !"

Posted

Some of the old ones are the best....(or worst).


A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the

dishes of the day. The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank

full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.


"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said

the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour."

replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"


A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter

instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear

running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't

the heart to kill the squid.


"Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an

enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter,

"This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with

the hairy lip!"


The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to

bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back

and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid"

Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.


"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......That..


Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green,

hairy lip squid!"

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